Page 11 of Devoted

Isitand sip the hot tea I found in the kitchen cupboard. Silvana filled the pantry and fridge with a lot of goodies but even with my appetite returned, I find eating to be a chore. I can't tell if it's because of my aversion to food for the past few months or my low spirits that keep me from pulling out the snacks. I'm certain it's the latter. A grayness has settled in my head, and I can't seem to wash itaway.

A knock on the door is followed by three short knocks. Even in my grim mood, the idea that Captain Clark has a secret knock, like a kid might use on the club tree house door, makes me smile. The semi-raggedy bouquet of daisies in his hand widens my grinmore.

"Captain Clark, you shouldn't have." I reach for the flowers and waste a few seconds with my nose in the bouquet, only to realize daisies aren't the least bitfragrant.

"Thought they might brighten up the place some." Clark is awkward and shy when he's not sitting behind his paper cluttered captain'sdesk.

"Thank you. They absolutely brighten the place up. Just what I needed." I regret the last comment instantly when his face wrinkles withconcern.

"Oh? Are you feeling down?" He follows me into the kitchen where I find a tall glass for the flowers. "The doctor told us to pay particular attention to mood swings, especially if you fall into a heavydepression."

I fill the glass with water. "Then you've got nothing to worry about. I'm a little sad, but I wouldn't qualify the way I'm feeling as heavydepression."

He points his thick finger and adds in a fatherly brow lift. "You will call me the second you're feeling really depressed.Promise?"

I nod sharply. "You are on my speed dial, Cap'n. But you don't need to stay by your phone. Maddox says he's coming back here to stay during thenight."

Clark averts his fatherly gaze to hide a reaction. "Yes, well, or I could send a car to patrol thearea."

I reach over and touch his hand. "It'll be fine. To tell you the truth, I'm kind of glad not to be staying herealone."

"See, you are worried about Freestone. I knew you were just putting on a stony face about it. I've got a team working on finding theguy."

"No, it's not Freestone." I pause to choose my words so as not to cause him more concern. I airily described my mood as a little sad but I knew it was more than that. "I just don't want to be alone." It's the best I can come up with, but it seems to satisfyhim.

I pull a can of cola, his favorite, out of the fridge and fill a glass with ice. He takes the drink and we walk out to thecouch.

"So, you're working on finding the elusive Kane Freestone?" His name still has meaning when it comes off my lips. Kane wasn't a man you got to know without him leaving a bigimpression.

Clark seems to regret mentioning it. He sips his coke to avoid a direct answer and tries to just wave it off. "Hmm, this hits the spot. The traffic was miserable on the way outhere."

"You didn't need tocome."

"Nonsense. After all, I'm responsible foryou."

"Yes, it seems I've got a lot of guardians right now," I mutter over my cup oftea.

His cheeks wobble as he finishes the coke in threegulps.

"I'll get you anothercoke."

"No, this is fine. By the way, your mom has called three times in the past week. I've let her know just what we discussed before you went on assignment. You're still on an undercover job but you've been checking in with me daily. At least I feel better now knowing I'm not actually lying to the woman anymore. At least not biglies."

I shake my head. "Only my mom would think it's perfectly logical for someone undercover to be making daily phone calls to the precinct. Thank you for making sure she doesn't worry. When I'm feeling physically and mentally strong enough to talk to her, I'll give her aring."

The flutter in his eyelids always means he has something to say that he thinks I won't like. "Angie, I know you're still trying to recuperate from—well, anyhow—I don't want to rush you, but just as soon as you're up to it, we're going to need you to come in and tell us everything that happened down there inthat place." His use of the phrasethat placeis meant to spare me any pain, but it actually makes it sound even more dissolute and tawdry. If that is possible. "Anything you can tell us will help us flush this asshole out of whatever other hole he's crawledinto."

"I understand. Soon. I'm sure I'll be ready soon." There's no conviction in my tone. There is especially none in my heart. The notion of describing my days with Kane is horrifying in every way. Aside from the obvious, sharing utterly embarrassing details about my role in Lace Underground, up until now I'd only allowed myself to casually broach the subject of Kane Freestone in my head. My feelings for him swung in so many wild, extreme directions, from obsession to hate, from admiration to revulsion and back again, it feels too daunting a task to ever talk about him out loud. So far, after a hurricane of advice from everyone, Silvana's suggestion of understanding my main demon seems the most logical and sound. I'm not sure how easy it will be to uncover the many layers of Kane Freestone, but understanding him might just help me face everything thathappened.

"Are you eating enough?" Clark's husky voice pulls me from my thoughts. "You still look way tooskinny."

"I'm eating. Silvana filled the refrigerator with all kinds of goodies. He's such a greatguy."

Clark tilts his head side to side. "I don't know about great but he's definitely underrated. Pairing him up with Maddox has helped his self-esteem." Again, the hesitant eyelid flutter. "I've got Silvana working part-time on researching Freestone. He's much more effective behind a computer doing cyber detective work than out in the field." Clark pulls out a stick of his favorite spearmint gum and unwraps it. "Freestone didn't leave many trails behind, that's for damn sure. The club members have their lips sealed as tightly as their wallets. I can only assume fear of retribution is the cause for their silence." He shoves the stick of gum into his mouth. It's a habit he started after quitting smoking. As annoying as it is watching him gnaw down on a tough piece of gum, it's a big step up from talking to him through a cloud of tobaccosmoke.

"I think you're wrong about the retribution theory. I think they are just saving their reputations. It's hard to face the board of directors or your investors when your name has been splashed all over thetabloids."

Clark gets control of the leathery gum and chews it into a manageable wad as he mulls over my theory. "You could be right. Either way, the people who worked for Freestone have all scattered to the wind, leaving behind no real breadcrumbs. We've been staking out every rehab center and hospital looking for the lost women. But no one has shown upanywhere."

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