Page 97 of Wedlocked

My sore lower body groaned and my arms flung out, but then I slapped them back on his face. “It’s me, Kruger!”

“Malibu Barbie,” he exclaimed. “You being gay isn’t an excuse to see my wife naked!”

“I’m not naked,” Jess called from the chair she was hiding behind.

“Half naked?” Kruger considered.

“Oh my God, Ben.”

“Well, what else am I supposed to think when I come into our room and get tackled to the floor and blinded?”

“She’s wearing her wedding dress, moron,” I told him.

His face scrunched up beneath my hands. “So?”

“So you can’t see me in it before the wedding. It’s bad luck!”

“Says who?” Kruger argued.

“Tradition,” I told him. Then much lower, “Let her have this tradition, Ben.”

He said nothing, but since I was sitting on him and covering his eyes, I felt him react. “This some kind of girl thing?” he whispered.

“Mmhmm.”

He sighed loudly. “Fine. I’ll go. Take that dress off, Jess. I want to see my girl.”

“Keep your eyes covered!” she yelled, still behind the chair.

“This is absurd,” Ben muttered as we got up, my hands still over his eyes. “The things I do for this girl. A man can’t even see his bride.”

He jolted. “Hey! Why the hell do you get to see her in the dress before me?”

He swung toward Jess, my hands knocked away from his eyes.

Jess screamed and ducked farther behind the chair. “Benjamin Hayes Kruger!”

“I’m not looking, baby. I swear.”

“Cover your eyes.”

“They’re closed.”

“Cover them, Ben!” she demanded.

He sighed dramatically and put his hands over his face.

“I was sewing some buttons on for her,” I told him.

“Oh, right,” Kruger said. “Better not have stabbed her. Or seen any of her unmentionables. ‘Cause then I’ll stab you.”

“Ben!”

“I’m going,” he muttered. “I’m taking Malibu Barbie with me. Let’s go, Malibu.”

“I need to say bye to him.”

“I’ll wait,” he said, standing there with his hands still over his eyes, head tilted up to the ceiling.

---