Page 82 of Amnesty

I languished in bed while he showered and changed into his standard uniform of jeans, sneakers, and a Loch Gen shirt. When he was ready to go, Eddie scooped me up out of bed and carried me to his truck.

I held his hand the entire short drive to Maggie’s. He walked me to the door and kissed me, then waited until I was inside to walk away.

I loved him.

“Amnesia?” Maggie called out, appearing at the top of the stairs. “Is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

Her shoulders slumped a fraction. “I’ve been worried about you.”

“I know.” I apologized. “I’m sorry, I guess I just needed a little bit of time.”

Her eyes were wide when she nodded. “Of course.”

“I was thinking maybe we could talk if you have time?”

She smiled. “You know I do! I was just about to make some breakfast. How about you come give me a hand?”

In the kitchen, we got out what we needed for scrambled eggs and toast. I wasn’t sure, but when Maggie and I spent time cooking like this or watching bad reality TV, I felt maybe this was what it would be like to have a mother.

It was odd to think that out there somewhere I had a mother. Even odder that I couldn’t remember even the smallest clue about her.

I didn’t miss her. It was hard to miss someone you didn’t know.

“Where is Eddie this morning?” she asked as she whisked together a few eggs. I felt slightly queasy still. The sight of food wasn’t appealing.

“He went to work and to check in with his parents.”

“I’m sure they are worried about him.”

“A lot’s happened.” I allowed.

We didn’t say anything else until the eggs and toast were on plates and we were seated at the table.

“They told me what happened at the hospital yesterday when I came to see Sadie.”

I shuddered. “The things she told me, I remembered a little.”

“It was bad,” she observed.

I glanced away. “Very.”

“Well, judging from the few things Sadie shared with me about her experiences, I can’t even imagine.”

“Sadie told you?”

She set aside her fork and looked up. “Not much, but she was upset, understandably, so I talked to her for a while.”

“I didn’t mean to upset her,” I murmured.

Maggie’s hand covered mine. “None of this is your fault. Hers either.”

I cleared my throat. There was something I wanted to say. Or rather ask. It weighed on me, but it was an unnecessary burden. I needed to make things easier where I could, and while having this talk wasn’t easy, it was within my power. I needed to use all the power I had right now; if I didn’t, I might fold in on myself and never recover.

“Now that we know I’m not Sadie, I wanted to let you know that…” I paused and swallowed. This was hard. Hard to feel I didn’t belong even though I so badly wanted to. “I...”

Maggie nodded encouragingly, looking at me as if I could tell her anything.

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