Page 78 of Amnesty

She left the bathroom soundlessly.

“Am,” Eddie said. His voice sounded as broken as I felt. “I just…”

I knew what he wanted. I crawled over the floor toward him (If I were in my right mind, I would cringe, too. A public bathroom floor and toilet. Ew.). His body opened immediately, and I let him fold me into his embrace.

I started to cry. His comfort just trampled what was left of the walls I was using to keep me from totally falling apart.

“I got you,” he murmured, clutching me close. “I got you.”

“I don’t want to know,” I wailed. “I don’t want to know anything else.”

“Shh.” He tried to soothe me.

You couldn’t soothe a person after that kind of vivid memory.

“I’d rather have no answers than any more of that,” I blubbered, grabbing his shirt by the fistfuls. “Please, no more,” I pleaded. “No more memories.”

I was still crying when he picked me up, cradling me against his body, and kicked open the bathroom door. He carried me out of the hospital and slid into the driver’s seat of his truck, all the while keeping me in his lap. I was so closely plastered to the front of him, not even a pound of grease and a giant spatula could have gotten me loose.

He drove to the lake house, parked as close to the back porch as he could get, and carried me inside.

His muscles were vibrating against me as he kicked open every door in his way. In the bathroom, he sat me on the sink, moving between my legs.

I looked up at him, and he cupped my jaws in his hands. “He used to tell her it was her fault when he raped me.” My voice cracked. “That’s why I thought my name was Sadie.”

A tear, glistening and actually quite perfect, slipped out of his eye and trailed down his cheek. I’d never seen him cry. He was so laidback, so strong, I never thought I’d see the day. In fact, it never even occurred to me there was anything on this planet that could illicit such a reaction.

“If I could take your pain, your memories… Hell, if I could’ve taken your place in that hellhole, I would do it. I would do it in a fraction of a heartbeat.”

I grabbed his wrists, squeezing them tight even though I was so weak my grip was laughable. “I would never let you.”

With a groan, he gathered me close. “I’m not letting go of you the rest of the day, Am. Not even once.”

“Promise?” I whispered.

He vowed, “Cross my heart.”

Her body trembled like the last leaf clinging to a bare tree on the cusp of winter.

Hours upon hours.

So long I actually internally debated if I should disregard her wishes and call a doctor.

Whatever memory crashed into her mind was worse than anything she remembered before. She wasn’t ready to speak of it. Hell, I wasn’t sure she ever would be. The small piece she told me, I knew, was only a tiny sliver of the whole.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the details. Just seeing her this way, knowing the little I did, cut me deeper than I thought anything could.

Am had to live with it, though. The memory would always be there in the back of her mind, haunting, waiting to remind her. It made me feel like a wimp because if she had to live with it forever, then I should as well.

“Amnesia?” I murmured.

“Eddie,” she replied instantly. I didn’t think there would be much sleep for either of us tonight. Her voice was hoarse from all her crying.

“When you’re ready, I’d like to know what you remembered.”

“You don’t.” She protested.

“I do.” I kept my voice passive and caressed her skin with the back of my knuckles. “We’re in this together.”

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