Page 76 of Amnesty

Red dots swarmed before my eyes. I didn’t think, only reacted to the fact that someone put their hands on Am and she was struggling to get away. Lunging forward, I brought my forearm down over Sadie’s and dislodged her hold.

Amnesia stumbled back, and so did I. I fell into the chair, Amnesia on top of me. Breathing heavy, I sat forward, wrapped my arms around her, and held her against me.

“Don’t touch her.” I warned, trying to sound as unthreatening as I could. “Just don’t, Sadie.”

“You love her,” she said, her eyes meeting mine.

It seemed cruel to say I did. It seemed somehow disloyal. I nodded instead, because not voicing it somehow seemed kinder.

Sadie’s eyes flashed back to Amnesia, who was still sitting in my lap.

“He beat me. He beat me until I lost the baby. I bled so much, was so badly injured, he thought I was going to die. I almost did… That’s where you come in,” Sadie told her. The expressionless way she spoke creeped me the fuck out.

“Me?” Amnesia asked, her voice quivering.

My arms slid tighter around her as if I could somehow shield her from what Sadie said next.

“You were my replacement,” she said. “He got you to take my place. Except I never died. Instead, we became sisters.”

“This is all your fault. All your fault, Sadie.”

“Saaaadie. Saadieeee.”

The sounds of him coming were unmistakable. His intent even more so. He always came around this time. And every time, he said the same thing.

Over on the other side of the place he kept us chained was another girl. Someone who barely ever moved. Someone I had yet to even see.

I knew she was there because I could smell the blood. I could hear her whimper in pain. Sometimes an old woman would appear, carrying a bucket of water and some rags. She never came over here. I never saw her that clearly. She would go over to that side of the room, and the crying would start.

They never spoke. All I heard were the sounds of dripping water as though it were being squeezed out of a rag. And the crying. I could never tell who was crying, whether it was the girl who barely moved, the old woman… or both.

Then she would leave. Take her bucket and climb back up the ladder. The slivers of daylight I sometimes saw physically hurt because I knew above us, out there, life went on.

I was naked. The cold rocks beneath me were uncomfortable and dirty. He told me I could earn some blankets, maybe even a cot. He never said how I would earn it, but judging from the fact the girl across the cave had a cot, I always figured I didn’t want to do what she did to earn a thing.

“Sadieee. Saaadiee.”

I shivered every time he sang that name. I knew it was hers, but whenever he said it, I knew he was coming for me.

I scrunched up against the cold, hard wall, trying to make myself as small as possible. Hoping and praying he’d forget about me and maybe go to the other side of the room. Something I knew was wrong to hope for, but I did just the same.

He didn’t, though.

The beam of his flashlight found me. I was dragged away from the wall, my legs cut relentlessly by the jagged floor. The sound of rattling chains turned my stomach; the weight of the metal cuff around my ankle was like an anvil.

The last time he came, I fought back. I tried to get his light and bash him in the head. I ended up with a swollen eye, a bloody lip, and a stinging bite. A bite in a place that made me shudder.

This time I just lay there, so taut I knew I would hurt tomorrow. But I would hurt tomorrow regardless. There was nothing about me that didn’t hurt anymore.

“This is all your fault, Sadie,” he yelled across the room as he spread my legs. “If you hadn’t gotten pregnant, I wouldn’t have needed another you.”

I blacked out while he assaulted me. The entire time he grunted and groaned and sweated over me, he called out Sadie’s name.

When he was done, he left my body but kept me pinned down. The splatter of his seed spurted all over me. On my chest and belly. He grunted and moaned. I gagged in the back of my throat.

When he finished, I tried to crawl away, but he grabbed my ankle.

“You know better, girl.” He hit me across the backside, my skin stinging wildly. I lay back as he expected, my eyes watering from the hit. Or maybe from the assault.

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