Page 109 of Amnesty

So many unanswered questions. The more answers we found, the more we needed.

It was beyond frustrating that I probably had everything we needed to know locked away inside my mind. Kept hidden even from me.

I knew pleading with myself wouldn’t work. Bargaining, even trying to force the answers out—nothing worked. I’d tried it all.

The only memories I did have came at heavy cost, when least expected. In short, they came when they wanted to, not when I asked.

I felt helpless as I sat in the center of the waiting room, waiting to see if Robbie would live or die. Waiting to hear from Maggie, from the police… from Sadie herself.

The cops were out searching now—an APB was put out on Sadie—and Eddie was just outside in the hallway, speaking to a few uniformed officers himself.

I knew they would want to question me as well, but I had nothing to offer.

No insight. No answers.

Just blank pages. Pages filled with words written in invisible ink.

Eddie was beyond himself. The blame he placed on himself and the responsibility he shouldered was palpable. I knew it cost him something great to admit to himself Sadie was further gone than any of us realized.

I knew the only reason he admitted it at all was because of me.For me.

I wanted to give something back to him. To give instead of take.

The only thing I could think of that would equal what he’d done for me was answers. I didn’t have them… but I knew where to get some.

Slipping out of the waiting room, I moved stealthily down the hallway and around the corner. The elevator was just beginning to close, so I rushed forward and slipped inside before the doors closed completely.

Alone in the small car, I leaned against the wall and tried to tame the wild beating of my heart. I didn’t know if this was going to work, but I had to try.

True, some memories were better off forgotten… but we couldn’t truly be free until some things were remembered.

Actually, I didn’t even have toremember.I just had to know.

The elevator opened to reveal the floor I selected. I stepped out into the quiet hall. I walked carefully along the wall, trying to remain as inconspicuous as I could, hoping no one would see me and if they did, they wouldn’t bother telling me to stop.

I made it all the way to the large room door, but then someone called out my name.

Wincing, I rotated, knowing the look in my eyes was sheepish. “Dr. Beck,” I said. “Nice to see you.”

“Amnesia.” He came to a stop in front of me. “You know you aren’t supposed to be here.”

I sighed, dropping the innocent act. “I assume you heard about Robbie in the ER? About Sadie being missing and suspected of his stabbing.”

“You still can’t be here,” he said, firm.

“C’mon, Dr. Beck!” I burst out. “I have to be here! If I can’t rely on my own memory to help everyone I care about, then I have to at least try this!”

He studied me for a long moment, then sighed. “She’s still catatonic.”

“I don’t care,” I answered, firm. “I just want to talk to her. Maybe she’ll hear me. Maybe she’ll answer.”

“It’s been over a month.” He cautioned. “I’m not even sure she can hear us.”

“Then it won’t matter if I go in there,” I told him. “Please, Dr. Beck. Widow West is my only chance at learning anything. The townspeople’s safety could rely on this.”

He glanced down the hall, then back at me. “Just a few minutes.”

“Thank you,” I said, sagging with relief.

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