I felt her reaching for me. I felt her eyes, heard her voice when she told me she was mine before she was anyone else’s.
I could be a friend to her, but I couldn’t be anything more.
That made me feel guilty, too. Now, after all this time, I had a chance to make it up to her, make amends for all the shit I hadn’t done.
I couldn’t. Not in the way I was beginning to see she wanted.
How could a mere man make right the sins of a devil? How could I reverse the horrible things that changed her irrevocably? It was impossible. There were some hurts in this life that were so severe, so unflinching they laughed in the face of apology.
I learned something as I continued to visit her. As I saw how different she was from not only Amnesia, but from the Sadie I remembered from childhood.
She wasn’t the only one who was changed by the events that happened.
I didn’t realize it until she came back. For years and years, I gripped so tight to that night all those years ago; I didn’t allow myself to see something that was so completely essential.
I changed, too.
I was no longer my fourteen-year-old self. I was nearly twenty-six. A man. A man who was jaded, almost wearily so.
A man who was in love with someone who wasn’t Sadie. Funny how you looked in one direction and life pulled you in another.
Out in the store, the bells announced someone else’s arrival.
The pot clattered a little as I shoved it back on the burner. In my haste, coffee sloshed over the rim of my mug and slapped against the floor.
“Shit,” I muttered, glancing around for a few napkins, which I promptly tossed onto the floor. The white material began greedily soaking up the liquid. To hurry it along, I stomped on it with my shoe, rubbing it up a little.
When that was done, I left the saturated napkin where it lay and headed out front.
I felt a little flutter low in my stomach, a feeling I would never admit to having. Anticipating Amnesia all morning was turning me into some whipped little puppy.
Maybe if I tell her that, she’ll scratch my belly… then allow her hand to travel lower.
Coffee nearly sloshed out of the mug again with that seductive thought. Smiling, I walked out front toward the door to see if it was who I awaited.
“Eddie!” a familiar voice called out. But it wasn’t the one I was expecting.
My eyes widened as I rounded the display aisle and saw Sadie standing there with Maggie at her side.
“Sadie?” I announced. “You’re here.”
She giggled. “That’s what Lily said when I saw her.”
She saw Amnesia?Without realizing it, I again started looking around for my girl.
Maggie noted and spoke up. “We just left her at the bakery. Joline was giving her an impromptu baking lesson.”
My eyes met and held Maggie’s. “Is she having a good time?”Is she okay? How did she do with seeing Sadie?
Maggie heard my unspoken questions and nodded. “She was having a wonderful time.”
I let out a silent breath, relief flooding through my middle
“The doctors let me out.” Sadie began. “So of course I wanted to come by and tell you, see the store.” She looked small standing there, my hoodie still swallowing her whole. Her hair was down around her shoulders (I’d never seen it any other way), and she had on a pair of jeans and yellow sneakers.
“Oh!” She went on. “We got you a coffee from the bakery.” She jolted forward to extend the large white cup in one of her hands. Noting the cup already in my hand, she frowned. “Oh, you have one already.”
“Meh.” I scoffed. “I made this in the back. It’s terrible. I suck at making coffee.” I accepted the one she offered and took a sip, ignoring the fact it scalded my tongue. “Much better.” I lied.