Page 132 of Amnesia

Dr. Beck sighed. “Mrs. West is currently in a catatonic state. She is unresponsive to stimuli, her body is unmoving and rigid, and she is not currently able to speak.”

I fell back against Eddie, disappointment swelling within me. “What?” I cried. “Why?”

“I think it has a lot to do with what has happened. As I said, she shows signs of long-term abuse, and after hearing about the events of this evening, I’m prepared to say this has been brought on by apsychological illness.”

“So she’s insane.” Eddie deadpanned. “Shocker.”

“We won’t know more until she begins to respond,” Dr. Kline put in.

“But I need to know,” I said, desperation clinging to my words. “I need to know who I am. What they did to me all those years ago.”

“And you will, remember.” Dr. Kline reminded me. “But not all at once. And that’s okay.”

“I don’t want to remember.” My voice scraped out of my throat. “I don’t want to re-feel all those horrible things done to me. What I do remember is more than enough. I don’t want to be changed forever—damaged—over the past. I just want to live in the present, with a clean slate.”

Everyone stared at me; no one quite knew what to say.

“All I want is for her to admit that I’m Sadie, for her to tell everyone what they did. I want toknow… but I don’t want to remember.”

“It doesn’t matter if you’re Sadie, Am,” Eddie said, brushing my hair over my shoulder and kissing the side of my ear. “I love you no matter what.”

My chest squeezed. Turning, my lips brushed his cheek. “I know, and I love you, too.”

Facing everyone else, I said, “But I need to know. For me.”For Sadie, the girl whose entire life was ripped away.

“As soon as we can, we’ll question her.” Officer Doug assured me.

“How long?” I asked, glancing at Dr. Beck.

He shook his head. “There is really just no telling. Could be hours. Could be days.”

“Weeks?” I pressed, feeling dread collecting inside me.

“In some cases.” He hedged.

More tears fell. I shoved them away and sat up. “I want to see her.”

“No, that’s not a good idea,” Dr. Kline said.

“Why?” I asked. “It’s not like she can do anything more than what’s already been done.”

“She really shouldn’t have any visitors,” Dr. Beck said.

I laughed. “Are you kidding me? She tortured me, kidnapped me, stole eleven years of my life! Eddie has stitches in his head, and I know nothing about who I used to be! She owes me!”

“Five minutes.” Dr. Beck said.

“The officer will remain at the door,” Doug added. “I think that’s all for tonight.” He continued. “If you think of anything else, call me immediately. Otherwise, we’ll be in touch.”

The officers left the room, leaving behind both doctors. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Dr. Kline said. “Facing someone who’s hurt you so much isn’t easy.”

“I’m sure.” I said, slipping out of the bed.

She nodded. “I’ll stay for a while. If you want to talk after, I’ll be here.”

“Thank you,” I said, feeling some of the frustration I held against her soften.

“I’ll be just outside,” Dr. Beck said. “I’ll take you to her room.”

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