Page 105 of Amnesia

“Yeah, me, too. Not sure I can keep it up any longer.” The serious tone made me look up. His fingertip trailed down the bridge of my nose, and he smiled. “I want you beside me all night.”

It had been about a week since we first made love. I’d only technically known him for not quite two months since I’d first opened my eyes, but it honestly felt like longer. Maybe because I was Sadie, and Eddie and I had a history that went far beyond a few months’ time. I didn’t really care about the reason. I didn’t need a reason to be so in love with him. I just was. My heart knew what it wanted, and I didn’t want to deny it. Life was too short, life was hard, and though I remembered barely anything, I knew I’d seen a lot of bad in my time. I was going to grasp the good, especially since I still felt it was fleeting.

We didn’t talk much about that fear of mine, though it was always there between us. Sometimes we acknowledged it in a passing look or the way our hands clung to each other’s before we said good-bye for the night.

Eddie was giving me exactly what I asked for, exactly everything I could ever want.

Happiness. Memories drenched in smiles. Kisses. Hugs. Hot chocolate with whipped cream, popcorn at the movies, and pancakes for breakfast at Maple’s. We even carved that giant pumpkin.

I could stay like this forever; I didn’t want anything more. Except, yeah, maybe to sleep in his arms every single night.

We’d been holding off on that. Maybe it was our way of not moving too fast.

Okay, fine. It was ridiculous. Ridiculous seemed to work for us. It sure as hell made me happy.

But Eddie wanted to “date” me. To pick me up and drop me off, to show up in the morning with hot chocolate before he had to work, and to kiss me good night at my door before I went to bed.

I loved it—the anticipation of him. Of having my world revolve around him, but not just him. I was building a life outside of him, too. Maggie and I were close. We spent a lot of time together, cooking in the kitchen, watching TV, and laughing. I wasn’t ready to give up my time with her to move in with Eddie. She’d become important to me.

“Did you really mean it about me having a job at Loch Gen?” I asked.

His hand stroked up my back. “Absolutely. Whenever you’re ready. Take your time.”

“I think I’m ready,” I answered. “I like it here, this town. I want to become a part of it—not just the town mystery, but an actual part.”

“You are a part, Am. You always will be.”

“Not as Sadie, though,” I whispered. “As me, as Amnesia.”

Speculation had only grown throughout town. Rumors were flying that I remembered who I was and that I really was Sadie. I never said a word, though. How could I? I wasn’t positive who I was, and I wasn’t going to say I was her unless I knew for sure. For now, the only people I’d talk to about remembering my name was Eddie, Maggie, and Dr. Kline.

“Not many people would want to stay in this tiny town,” Eddie murmured.

“You did,” I said. “Why?”

He gazed at me, the blue of his eyes so deep it pulled me in.

“Because of Sadie?” I whispered.

He nodded, then added, “And because this is home, where my parents are. The general store. That place became a refuge of sorts for me after Sadie disappeared. I spent a lot of time there working, and I sort of fell in love with the place.”

“I can see why. It really is amazing.”

He grinned, both dimples charming me. “It’s a good challenge, keeping the old-school charm but also bringing it into the modern world.”

I loved his passion for the store. I could see it in his eyes. I even felt it in the air when I walked in.

“She was lucky,” I mused.

He tilted his head. “Who?”

“Sadie. For having you as a best friend and as a crush… maybe even a first love.”

“Have you had any more memories?” he asked, rubbing his thumb over my lower lip. He always got a little sad when I talked about Sadie. Even though I was Sadie, I didn’t think of myself as her. I couldn’t. I couldn’t be someone I didn’t know and couldn’t remember.

All I could be was me. Amnesia. For some reason, I felt I was different than Sadie, the girl I was before I nearly drowned. I couldn’t explain why or even how I knew; I just did. Dr. Kline said personality changes after something like what happened to me weren’t uncommon.

I shook my head. “No.”

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