Page 102 of Amnesia

“No!” I laughed as he started to tickle me full on. “Stop!” I gasped, wiggling so much I fell off his chest.

He rolled, pinning me beneath him. His eyes were warm when they settled on my face. “So if you aren’t mocking my performance….”

I rolled my eyes. “Your performance was pretty damn good and you know it.”

He made a surprised face. “Did you just curse? Did my freckled little angel just say a dirty word?”

I gasped, feigning a shocked voice. “What have you done to me? I’m corrupted.”

Eddie swooped in and kissed me, laughing as his lips brushed mine. My heart nearly burst with fullness, and there was a pang of something else as all this happiness surrounded me.

Guilt.

He felt the change come over me. Of course he did. We were becoming very in tune with each other, and what we just shared only bonded us further.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, drawing back.

“Nothing.” I shook my head.

“Amnesia, tell me.”

I sighed. “I’ve never felt like this before. So happy… so carefree.”

“And that’s a problem?” he asked, trying to follow.

I smiled, brushing my fingertips over his cheekbone. He smiled, his dimple appearing. “No. It’s just… I feel kind of guilty.”

“Guilty?” he asked, frowning.

I nodded, trying to understand. “Like maybe I shouldn’t be happy. It feels sort of wrong, like happiness doesn’t belong to me.”

I heard him swallow and watched a curl fall into his eyes when he shifted, caging my body beneath his to gaze down. “If there is anyone in this entire world that deserves happiness, it’s you. That much I am absolutely sure of.”

“I want it. But sometimes…” My voice faded.

He brushed over my jaw with the pads of his fingers. “What?”

“Sometimes it feels like being happy now will only make things harder later.”

“Why would things be harder later, sweetheart?” He kissed the top of my shoulder.

“Because they’re going to keep coming for me. And when they do, this happiness,you,will be ripped away, and I won’t have anything left.”

“No one is going to take me away from you.” I swore, staring at her intently until her eyes, which had turned worried, finally rose to meet mine.

With her stare still on me, she whispered, “They’ll take me.”

My stomach plummeted, the “afterglow” from making love to her dimming.

“And we’ll be apart. Again.” She finished.

The fear in her eyes was unmistakable. It made me sick and angry at the same time at how fast she crashed from bliss to anxiety.

“I won’t let that happen,” I told her, gut tight. “Not again.”

I went from believing Amnesia was Sadie to being convinced she wasn’t, and now… now I was stuck somewhere in the middle. There were too many things that pointed to her being my long-lost best friend, but also things that pointed to her not being the girl I lost.

Amnesia smiled softly, almost sadly, and raked her fingers through my hair. “I love you.”

---