“It’s okay,” she murmured, pressing a hand to my chest. “I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you that day.”
“I don’t want to do it again,” I said, hard. “And then I got that call earlier…”
“That’s why you were so mad,” she said, almost to herself.
“No,” I bit out, my mouth thinning. “I’m mad because of the first words out of your damn mouth.”
Her mouth formed a little O.
“Don’t worry. I’m not pregnant.That’s what you said to me. As if I were only rushing there because I thought my kid might be inside you.”
I shoved away from the bed, pacing some more. I felt agitated, hot… misunderstood.
“I’ve been living with this constant voice in the back of my head since Evie, this stupid nagging worry that you might be ripped away. That day I came home and your car wasn’t in the garage? Yeah, I damn near pissed my pants because I was afraid you might not be here.”
She made a sound, half strangled, half alarmed.
“Do you remember what I said to you when I found you crying on the bathroom floor?”
Her teeth sank into her lower lip, and she nodded once.
“What?” I demanded. I wanted her to say it.
“All I had to do was breathe.”
“I meant that.” I nodded once. “It’s all I care about. As long as you breathe, as long as you’re here with me, then everything else is just details.”
“I thought you wanted a baby,” she whispered.
“I do. But I want you more. You could tell me right now that your doctor said you couldn’t ever have a child, and I wouldn’t care. It’s you I want. Before anyone else, Rim. That’s what you are to me. Forever. You comebefore anyone else.”
Tears fell over her lashes, dripping down her cheeks. She wiped at them and made a sound that was half hiccup and half snort. “I love you before anyone else, too. It’s why I’ve been fighting so hard to come back to you. I choose you, Romeo Anderson.”
I rushed across the room and grabbed her. Her legs locked around my waist as I held her, and my mouth crashed over hers. I kissed her deep and hard. I was rough, likely too rough, but I didn’t think about that. I only thought about getting inside her, feeling her… tasting the words she just spoke before they evaporated off her tongue.
I was still attacking her mouth when her fingertips dug into my head and pulled back. I felt half drunk when I tried to focus on her. I just wanted back between her lips.
“I can have a baby.”
I glanced up, gaining some of that focus I’d been failing at.
She gave me a timid smile. “The doctor said she saw no reason we can’t have another child.”
“What’s the risk to you?” I asked.
“I’ll be fine.”
I set her away from me, even though my body screamed in protest. “You still want my baby? Do you still think I’ll make a good father? After everything I just told you?”
“Oh, yes. You already are the most amazing father ever.”
I shook my head.
Rimmel took my face in her palms, forcing my head down so she could look up into my eyes. “I blamed myself every day for losing Evie. I blamed my body, my luck, even all the stupid pickles I ate. I still blame myself sometimes. I know I always will.”
“That wasn’t your fault,” I ground out. I didn’t want her blaming herself.
“It wasn’t yours either.”