Page 71 of Bae

“In an odd way, I think hearing the understanding from someone who doesn’t love me like that, from someone who actually debates if she even likes me, is what made the difference.”

“I get that.” I leaned close and kissed her softly. “But you know my mother loves you.”

Rim made a sound; I wasn’t sure if it was acceptance or denial, but I let it go. This conversation wasn’t really about my mother.

“She told me to talk to you, you know. Tell you how I felt.”

“I’m glad you did.”

She swallowed and took a breath. “I’m ready to try again.”

I stilled. Did she mean what I thought? I looked into her eyes. They were so wide, so innocent… yet so knowing. Her head bobbed, as if telling me yes, I was exactly correct in what I was thinking.

“Rimmel, don’t let the things the media is saying get to you. That goddamn list either. We aren’t on a schedule; there’s no pressure for this. It hasn’t been that long.” It had only been a little over three months. In terms of the outside world, I supposed that felt like forever.

But in terms of the heart?

It was like a passing second.

She tucked her hair behind both ears, holding my searching gaze steadily. “It’s not because of the press or anyone else. It’s because I want to. I want your baby, Romeo. I want a part of you growing inside me.”

I still recalled the way she looked with just a slight swell to her stomach. She was so tiny she started showing almost immediately. There was something primal about it, about knowing my child was growing inside her. Usually, it was just the woman’s hormones that changed with pregnancy, but it changed mine, too. It made me even more protective, as if it were a sudden awakening to just how fragile life really was.

I cleared my throat. “It’s not something that needs to be decided tonight.”

“I’ve been thinking about it a while. Since before you left for the season. Then I talked to your mom…” Her voice trailed away.

I don’t know why, but her sudden readiness made me a whole lot less ready.

You know why.

“But there is something I want to do first.” She went on when I said nothing.

I leaned around her for the coffee. “Name it.”

“I was thinking about going to see my doctor. You know, get an exam, maybe some bloodwork, make sure everything is as it should be. I thought it may give us, well me, some extra confidence that this pregnancy may work out better.”

“That’s a real good idea, baby. You call the doc and let me know when the appointment is. I’ll be there.”

“But football,” she protested.

I made a sound. “Fuck football. You come first.”

Rim leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “I love you.”

“Me, too,” I said, then gestured to the cake. “Eat your chocolate.”

She chuckled and reached for the plate.

She seemed lighter now, like, as she said, the last couple weeks had shifted her thinking. I was grateful for that. So damn grateful. I wanted her happy. I’d give anything to make sure she was.

Even at the risk of my own peace of mind.

Rimmel

I dreamed of repeated knocking. Until I woke enough to realize I wasn’t dreaming; the knocking was real. And it was annoying.

“Whoever that is, is an asshole,” Romeo grumbled and slid out from beneath me. I made a sound as my body connected with the mattress.

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