Page 149 of Bae

“What are you doing?” Rimmel asked, staring after her son.

“Little Blue Jay is just fine, baby. I’ll catch up with them in a few. But first, there’s something I need to do.”

She tilted her head to the side. “What?”

I surged forward, making fast work of the distance separating us. Careful of her body, I cupped her cheeks in my palms and kissed her soundly.

When I lifted my head, there was a dreamy quality to her stare and her lips turned up in a soft smile.

“What was that for?” she whispered.

“That,” I said definitively, “was for breathing.”

I kissed her again.

“And that was because I love you so fucking much.”

“So fucking much,” she echoed. “Now go watch over our son,” she urged.

I held her hand until I had to let go to keep walking. Out in the hall, I jogged to catch up to my son, and when I looked down, I saw the perfect balance. Romeo and Rimmel, all mixed together.

He was tangible proof that two hearts could absolutely beat as one.

Rimmel

The door remained closed.

Not locked, yet with an unspoken seal no one ever crossed.

Until recently that is. But not yet by me. Or Romeo.

Or the baby boy was cradled in my arms.

Blue was four days old and perfect in every way. You know how they say life can change in an instant, in the blink of an eye?

Whoever said that was probably a parent.

No love is ever so swift than the love that smacks you when your child is first placed in your arms. In that moment, everything shifted, everything changed.

The gravitational pull that held Romeo and me together spread to include our son. We already had a family, a big, crazy, loving one. Evie was part of that family; she always would be.

But Blue made it complete.

My heart belonged to Romeo, but now it orbited around our son.

His eyes were blue; they had the same kind of magic in them Romeo’s held. Every time this baby looked at me, I felt engulfed, like the entire world narrowed down to just him and me. The only other person I’d ever met with so much power in just a single look was his daddy.

The light, downy hair barely covering his head was irresistible to the touch; his tiny, heart-shaped lips were pink and always begged for kisses.

He knew my voice and the sound of Romeo’s. Those round, blue eyes would follow our sounds whenever we moved, and when he’d find us, he never looked away.

I won’t lie. Sometimes when I looked at him and my heart swelled, I thought of my lost daughter, the one I never got to meet. I wondered if she would have the same eyes, the same hair, the same hungry appetite.

I wouldn’t ever know the answers to those questions, but it didn’t make me love Blue any less. If anything, it made me love him more because I understood all too well the fragility of life.

“This is your big sister’s room,” I told him softly as he gazed up at me. “I think she’d want you to have it, though. Are you ready to see?”

He didn’t answer, but he didn’t have to. It was more a question for myself.

---