Page 41 of Claimed By the Don

“I plan to,” she says and flips a pancake.

As for me, there’s nothing I want more than this day with my family. The first day of our life together.

29

DAISY

“It’ll take me forever to learn all the bells and whistles this thing has,” I say, looking at the instruction book for the camera as Benny drives us in my car because his truck didn’t have room for the booster seat.

“We’ve got time.”

Liam sits in the back, asking ten thousand questions about Coney Island and why it’s called that and will his buddies be there and what if it starts raining and also will he be tall enough to go on the Cyclone? I shake my head, answering as many as I can, letting Benny field the rest.

“You’ll just have to wait and see,” he says finally and Liam shrugs and goes back to his coloring book.

“That never works for me,” I grumble. “When he gets used to you, the party manners will be gone, and he’ll keep asking till your ears fall off.”

“I can’t wait,” he says and I sigh a little.

While he was taking care of business, I called the pediatrician’s office and they said to set him Liam up with the school social worker. After I spoke with her, I did some paperwork online and set it up. He sees her tomorrow morning. There’s going to be a lot of adjustment for him to get used to.

I’ve made so many mistakes. I want to do this right, and back off, stop trying to control everything. It never kept us safe anyway, and it was miserable. As plans go, running away and micromanaging were terrible ideas. I have to learn new ways to handle things, and it’s going to be hard. But it’s worth it. Like Benny said, we’ve got time.

After a quick Google search, I decide that I better stick to the carousel today and watching them have fun. Carnival rides are mostly off-limits for pregnant women, which is something I never even wondered about before today. When I was pregnant with Liam, I didn’t exactly hang out in amusement parks while working two jobs. I can relax and enjoy today, take pictures of my little boy with his dad. That whole idea just stops me in my tracks. I can’t believe how lucky I am.

On the way into the park, Liam says ‘wow’ about a thousand times. The familiar sight of the tower, the Ferris Wheel, the iconic curve and loop of the Cyclone gets me every time. I take pictures of the landmarks and of Liam’s face when he sees them for the first time, a few candid shots of Benny picking up Liam and putting him on his shoulders, keeping a hand on Liam’s leg to make sure he’s secure. My heart flip flops with joy and excitement over something new every minute with these two.

It's bright, noisy but not crowded yet. Music streams from somewhere and we make our way past the games toward the rides. It’s a riot of big, hulking shapes and flashing lights, the loud zoom of rides in operation, the old-fashioned ‘step rightup’ carny barker shouts. I want to look everywhere at once. I’m glad Liam’s up on Benny’s shoulders where he can see without getting swamped by everything being so huge looming around him. His head swivels from side to side, mouth open like he can’t decide where to look.

“Where to first?” Benny asks.

“Carousel first,” I decide. “Then you guys can ride something more exciting.”

“The froggies!” Liam shrieks when he sees them and points.

“Frogs are up next,” Benny agrees.

When we mount the carousel, I settle Liam on the white horse he selects and I climb up beside him onto a gray one with gold and blue ribbons. The music begins, the ride turns. My horse lifts beneath me, rising and falling with the music. I look at Liam’s grin, at the crank of the machinery above me and the brightly painted scenes on the side of the carousel. Then my eyes settle on Benny. He’s positioned himself to stand at the head of our horses, between them, so he can reach us both, watch us both. Warmth settles in my chest and I smile back at him. He’s here close by watching over us, happy. The smile we exchange says everything.

When the ride ends, I look wistfully at Liam. I didn’t even get a picture of him riding his first Coney Island ride because I was caught up in the moment. I bite my lip as I get down, and Benny helps Liam off his horse.

We make our way to the frog ride, and when we get there, Benny hands me his phone. “I got a couple good ones of the two of you on the carousel. Wanna edit them while we’re in line?”

I glance at the screen and see a picture of Liam looking in awe as I point out some detail on his horse before the ride began. I do have a picture of him on his first ride—a picture of both of us together and I didn’t even have to ask. Benny just knew to take it. When I look up at him, he’s smiling. He seems to have a permanent grin today. I kiss his cheek. “Thank you. It’s perfect the way it is.”

“I could say the same about all of this,” he says. Liam pulls a face but doesn’t whine about hurrying onto the ride, just tugs on Benny’s hand.

“I’ve got him. I expect you to return the favor, so go find a place to sit with a good angle to take our picture,” he says.

I nod. “Have fun. Stay buckled in,” I tell Liam.

“I will, Mommy!” he says and bounds toward the ride, dragging Benny after him.

About two minutes into the ride, I’ve taken fifty pictures. I flip through images on the screen deleting some. When they find me on my bench, I show Benny my favorite shot of them together.

“Let me see, Mommy! Let me see!” Liam demands and Benny picks him up so he can look. “I wasn’t screaming. I laughed. That is not a scream,” he insists.

“I’m with the kid on this one. He was laughing. Like a maniac.”

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