Daisy gives a shaky laugh. “Oh, thank God!” she breathes. “I thought I was the only one about to die from the tension,” she giggles. I cover her hand with mine for a second and our eyes meet in the mirror. We’re both grinning so hard that we’re completely obvious. I follow her to the counter and pay for my haircut.
“If you’re free tonight, I could come over, maybe make you dinner?” she offers.
“Hell yes.”
“How about six?”
“I’ll be there. Want me to pick up groceries, anything special?”
“Maybe a bottle of wine.”
I nod, feeling like I just tucked an ace into my pocket, and I’m destined to win the whole game. The rest of the day I’m hit with sense memories of her hands in my wet hair, her face close to mine as she trimmed. I finish work, check in with my dad. He’s all set to go with Willa to some golf benefit for which I’m grateful.
At home, I put a vase of bright yellow Gerbera daisies on the table, set the wine out, and change clothes. I’m nervous, excited to have her here, to have dinner together in my home.
She calls to say she’s here, and I disarm the security system and then unlock the door. She hands me two grocery bags and kissesmy cheek. I drop the bags and press her back against the door for a real kiss. She smells of the salon, some flowery conditioner they use, but she tastes like home. Daisy’s arms go around me, her tongue licking into my mouth. I tear myself away and let her go to the kitchen while I follow her with the groceries.
I roll up my sleeves and chop an onion while she dices the carrots and celery for Bolognese. She slips past me to get to the sink but stops, wraps her arms around me and leans her cheek against my back. I feel everything at once. The affection and sweetness of the gesture, our years apart and this need.
“I love you,” I say, because I can’t stop myself. “I can’t keep not saying it to you.”
Her arms tighten around me, she presses a kiss between my shoulders. I feel her rise on tiptoe to press her lips to my ear.
“I love you too, Benny,” she says.
Her words, the warmth of her breath on my skin, her curves pressed against my back—any self-control I had snaps. I spin around, my arms around her, picking her up and kissing her deeply.
“Benny—no—” she gasps, turning her face away. I step back, let go of her, stunned.
“What’s wrong?”
“Burner’s on,” she rushes to the stove and switches it off. “I don’t want to burn the place down. Okay, now we’re good,” she grins.
I make love to Daisy like it’s the first night of our life together. Like we have every night after this and I know damn well I’m done giving her space and letting her go.
Eventually we finish making dinner, and I love the sight of her in my kitchen, the way we work together and the conversation. Inside jokes I’d forgotten about a long time ago, plans we make—tentative at first.
I’m going to pick her up at her mom’s house, right at the door. We’ll visit Gino’s family, go back to Coney Island, and I’m going to take her dancing. Every suggestion is like I’m taking stars down from the sky, capturing them to put in my pocket. I almost can’t believe it.
We finish the wine and I make espresso, surprise her with sfogliatelle. We clean up the kitchen together after our coffee and I brace myself to tell her good night, to manage it coolly without telling her I love her about fifty more times. Daisy takes my hand and pulls me toward the couch, tucks her legs under her and curls up beside me.
I reach for my phone, tap the music app and choose a song. “Something romantic I downloaded for you,” I say softly. The beat of a certain Post Malone banger drops, and she starts laughing.
She’s still laughing when I kiss her.
17
DAISY
Even a text from Benny can make me smile. The promise of seeing him later, of talking to him makes me glow and feel hopeful. My life is expanding, opening up after years of being curled up and afraid.
Everything changed for me when I had Liam. Not just the fact I moved across the country and cut off nearly everyone from my life before. My body was different, my thoughts was different, and my priorities were sure as hell transformed. Nothing was as important as my child, and nothing will ever will be.
That being said, my entire life was Liam and work. There was no time for socializing, friends, or dating. I refused to bring a strange man into my son’s life. I was mistrustful and didn’t like the idea of guys going in and out of his home and his life. It was simpler that way, and I could mollify my anxiety about his safety by essentially controlling every aspect of his environment and giving him my undivided attention.
Still, that part of me that longs for a partner and confidante and lover has been comatose for a long time. When Benny kissed me, I came alive again. Under his touch I’m a woman andbrought back to life. It feels like I can access a part of myself that was missing for a long time. Not only my libido—although that’s crazy by itself—but the person I was once, the way shyness warred with my inner daredevil, how much I liked live music and dancing, taking pictures, making Benny laugh.
When a client cancels one day, I message him and ask if I can drop by his office. He says yes without hesitation