Page 97 of When We Are Falling

“Blake, honey, change is hard, but it’s going to be okay,” Mom says as she stands and moves around the table. She puts her arms around me, and Mama Charlotte follows, wrapping me in a hug from the other side. I’m surrounded by them, thesoftness of Mama Charlotte’s wool sweater brushing my cheek, the faint smell of lavender and coffee clinging to Mom’s shirt.

“We’re not going anywhere,” Mama Charlotte whispers into my hair, her voice soothing. “We’re still here.”

“We’re still your moms, and we always will be,” Mom adds, her hand rubbing gentle circles on my back. “Nothing can change that.”

I nod against her. What other choice do I have? I don’t want to make things worse by voicing the worries that swirl in my head. They’re going through enough already without me adding to it. So I keep quiet, and hope that what they’re saying is true.

Eventually, I pull back, wiping my tear-streaked face. My moms are both looking at me with such love, such understanding, and it’s almost too much to bear.

“I love you both so much.”

“We love you too, sweetheart,” Mama Charlotte replies, her eyes shining.

“Forever and always,” Mom adds.

I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself while Mama Charlotte sits down again, and Mom busies herself making tea. The kettle goes on and she pulls out the box of tea bags, pausing to look out the window before turning and leaning against the kitchen counter, arms across her chest. “How are you feeling this morning after everything with Ethan?”

Before I can reply, the kettle comes to a boil, its shrill cry echoing in the quiet kitchen, and Mom switches it off, before setting down three yellow mugs with tiny daisies on the side with a soft clink. We’ve had those mugs since I was fourteen, one for each of us.

Mom turns back to look at me, waiting for my reply.

The mention of Ethan made me flinch, her words cutting deeper than I’d like to admit, and I just shrug. They exchange alook—one of those silent conversations that only people who’ve known each other forever can have.

Mama Charlotte is the one who speaks next, her voice gentle but probing. “Mom mentioned you guys broke up at that lunch. Have you spoken to him since it happened?”

I shake my head,reallynot wanting to have this conversation. “No, I haven’t. And I don’t think I’m ready to. We’re just not right for each other. I need to focus on myself at the moment.”

Mom pours water into the mugs, steam curling in lazy spirals in the cool air, the smell of chamomile filling the room. “We can see how miserable you are without him. You don’t have to hide it from us. It’s okay to admit that you miss him, even if you can’t work things out.”

Mama Charlotte nods in agreement. “You can tell us anything.”

I stare at the table. “It’s just not meant to be. I’m sorry. I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“If you don’t want to talk to us, maybe you should talk tohim,” Mom says, staring at me. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to keep going on about this, but just remember if it hurts this bad to be apart, maybe there’s a reason for that. Sometimes, things are worth fighting for, even when it’s hard.”

She sounds too much like Ethan right now. I’ve built these walls around myself for a reason, and letting them down, even for him, is too big of a risk.

“I hear you,” I say, my voice quieter now. “But just take my word for it that this is for the best.”

“Maybe you can still be friends?” Mama Charlotte says. “You can never have too many friends.”

“Maybe,” I reply. “We’ll see.”

The conversation shifts to something lighter, but the weight of what they’ve said lingers in the back of my mind. Deepdown, I know they’re right—I’m miserable without Ethan, but the thought of letting him in, of risking everything, is terrifying. Impossible, even.

And for now, that fear is enough to keep me where I am, stuck in this limbo, not ready to move forward but unable to go back.

Chapter 46

Ethan

A week has passedsince everything imploded with Blake, and I just miss her every second of every day. The world around me keeps moving—people going about their lives, the sun rising and setting, the tide rolling in and out—but it’s like I’m watching everything from behind a pane of glass, distant and disconnected.

I’ve thrown myself into working with the Valiant Hearts boys, trying to lose myself in the physicality of it, which has helped a little, and it looks like today’s our last day.Finally. When we left yesterday, the wetlands looked almost perfect, the last few patches of oil barely visible.

It’s early morning when I pull up beside Liam’s truck, and Bandit jumps out as soon as I open the door, sniffing around like he’s on a mission. He finds Mike’s dog, Barks, and the two dogs start chasing one another around.

Still sitting in the driver’s seat, I check my phone quickly. It’s taken all my willpower to only send Blake a couple of messagestelling her I’m sorry about that clusterfuck of a lunch, and they remain read but unanswered.

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