Page 86 of When We Are Falling

Closing my eyes, taking one last drag before exhaling slowly. I don’t know what to do, but I know I can’t give up. Not now. Not when I’ve finally found someone who makes me feel alive, who makes all the bullshit worth it.

I don’t have all the answers, but I know one thing—whatever it takes, I’m going to find the perfect way to show Blake that she doesn’t have to choose between her independence and us.

Chapter 40

Ethan

The next day,Patrick calls early to let me know the Valiant Hearts boys are taking a day off from the clean up, which is great because it gives me a chance to think. Bandit and I head down the trail into the Pine Barrens for some peace and quiet.

The tall trees reach toward the sky, their trunks thick and sturdy, their needles a dark green against a backdrop of bright blue. Bandit’s tail wags eagerly as he bounds ahead, sniffing at the undergrowth.

I follow him, hands shoved into the pockets of my jacket, my mind turning over ideas—I tend to think better when I’m moving.

As we walk deeper into the woods, the silence of the morning is broken only by the soft rustle of leaves underfoot and Bandit’s occasional snuffle. I’ve always found peace out here, away from everything, where it’s just me, Bandit, and the wilderness.

“Bandit,” I call—he’s run off ahead and is out of sight.

He lets out a woof, and when I round the bend in the trail, he’s sitting there, waiting for me. I catch up and he walks by my side, glancing up, dark eyes attentive, ears perked. “I need to figure this out, buddy.”

He cocks his head to the side, like he’s considering my words, and I can’t help but smile a little. He’s been my constant companion through so much, and right now, he’s the only one I can really talk to. “Have you got any ideas?”

Bandit lets out a low woof and looks at me as if he’s waiting for me to hurry up and catch on, because he’s already got the answer. I can’t speakdog, so I keep walking, pine needles crunching under my boots, and let my thoughts tumble out.

“I’ve tried talking to her, but we can’t seem to see eye to eye. This is so much harder than I thought it would be.”

Bandit nudges my leg with his nose. Of course he gets it. Dogs are so fucking smart. I give him a solid scratch behind his ears. “You’re such a good boy. The goodest boy.”

We keep walking, me glancing up at the towering pines where soft shafts of light come through the gaps in the branches, creating a pattern of shadows against the texture of the rough bark.

“She’s so scared of relying on anyone, boy, and I get that, after everything she went through as a kid. Even though her moms have been there for her since she was adopted, she’s still scared of being a burden on them. But she doesn’t know we’d do anything for her. That we’d never leave just because she has ghosts from her past. What if…”

I trail off, the idea forming slowly in my mind. “What if I bring her moms into this? Trudy’s already here, and maybe if I invite Charlotte down, we could all have lunch together. Maybe if Blake sees that we’re all here for her, that she’s not alone, she’ll feel more supported, know that it’s safe to rely on us. It might bejust what she needs. Maybe she’ll even open up about David to them.”

Bandit stops and sits down, looking up at me with those big, trusting eyes, as if giving his silent approval. The idea starts to snowball: I would’ve given anything for someone to have gotten my parents to agree to a meal together, even just for a day, for my sake.

I guess I’m just trying to do for Blake what no one did for me.

Maybe if my parents had come together like this, so we could all actually talk about the things that mattered, my childhood would’ve been different. Maybe I wouldn’t have felt so damn alone.

Hell, even now as an adult, I’d appreciate that kind of effort. Not that they’d ever agree to it… but Charlotte and Trudy are different. Even if there are issues between them, Blake comes first. I saw them when Blake and I were growing up, how much they doted on her.

Besides, Blake’s been worried about Charlotte being gone. She’ll be thrilled if I manage to get her here. I actually want to pat myself on the back for this brilliant fucking idea. This couldreallywork. It feels like the big, perfect idea I’ve been searching for, the one thing that might cut through all this tension and fix what’s broken.

“It’s risky, I know,” I admit, crouching down to scratch behind Bandit’s ears again. “But what do I have to lose? I just want her to feel safe, to know that she doesn’t have to have it all figured out. That it’s okay to rely on me, on her moms. And that her family is okay, even if her moms aren’t together.”

Bandit licks my hand, his tongue warm and rough against my skin. Yeah, this is the right move, the one thing that could get through to her and show her how much I care, how much I’m willing to fight for us.

“Alright, boy,” I say, standing up and giving Bandit a final pat on the head. “Let’s get back. I’ve got a lunch to organize.”

As we make our way through the Pine Barrens toward where we parked, the plan solidifies in my mind. The idea of bringing Blake’s moms together for lunch is risky, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from Blake, it’s that sometimes you have to take a leap of faith, do something a little unexpected.

I pull out my phone and bring up Blake’s home number, pressing the phone to my ear, listening to the ring tone. It seems to go on forever before Trudy finally picks up.

“Ethan, this is a surprise.”

“Hey, Trudy. I hope I’m not catching you at a bad time.” I try to sound as casual as possible. “I was wondering if you’d be up for grabbing lunch. Just a chance to catch up. I wanted to talk to you about Blake, but it’s nothing serious. Are you free anytime in the next few days?”

There’s a pause, and I can almost hear her weighing her options on the other end of the line. “Looks like today is my only free day until the end of the week,” she finally replies. “Where were you thinking?”

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