Page 83 of When We Are Falling

She moans softly, her hips sliding toward me, thighs spread wide, and I tease her clit until she groans my name. I’m so hard for her I’m about to fucking explode.

We’re kissing again, and I’m guiding myself inside her, greedy hands grabbing her hips as I push all the way in, bottoming out. With a growl, I pull out and then thrust inside her again with one fluid motion. She cries out, nails scraping through my shirt down my chest as I fill her completely.

“Fuck me, Ethan,” she says, the green of her eyes closing, head tossed back, red hair cascading down the black tank top she wore to work which still smells of other people’s spilled drinks.

I start moving faster, hips pistoning as I drive deeper and deeper. The sound of our bodies slapping together fills the room, along with our ragged breaths and moans.

The plate falls to the ground, smashing in two, but we don’t stop. We’re not making love. There’s nothing tender about this, about the way her fingers grip my clothes, the way she closes her eyes, begging me again to fuck her.

Tension builds inside, tightening like a coil ready to snap. Reaching down, thumb finding her clit, applying pressure, my cock slamming into her. She lets out a cry, eyes squeezed shut as she comes, her muscles clenching around me.

With one final thrust, release tears through me, and I pulse deep inside, shoulders rounding as my body curves around her, breathing hard.

But as the cloud of pleasure begins to clear, cold dread settles over me, and I pull back to look at her face. Her eyes are still closed, her expression unreadable. A thought tears through me:what if this was the last time?

I pull out of her, gently lifting her chin until she looks at me. There’s hurt in her eyes, and stubborn determination, too. She stares at me, not looking away.

“I’m going to the shelter. You can either support me or not, but I’m going.Alone.”

The ground shudders beneath me, the control I’ve always clung to slipping all the way through my fingers. I want to tell her she really needs to stay or let me come too, that I’m scared of something happening to her, because my life would fucking end if she wasn’t in it, but the words stick in my throat.

Instead, I watch her walk to the bathroom and return a moment later. She gets dressed, grabs her bag and heads for the door without another word. It closes behind her with a thud, leaving me feeling more out of control than ever.

Chapter 38

Blake

The afternoon sunlightslants through the living room windows, sheets of gold highlighting tiny particles of dust shifting on invisible currents. Outside, a car drives down the street, growing louder before fading away, and a bird chirps on the oak tree turning red in the front yard, before going quiet.

I’m home alone, and need to leave for work in about an hour, giving me some time to just sit with my thoughts. Unfortunately for me, they’re running one into the other, circling like a vulture around carrion, amplifying the lingering ache in my chest from the argument with Ethan last night.

Sinking deeper into the worn couch, feet tucked up beneath me, I replay the look on Ethan’s face when he gave me that ultimatum. The way his eyes hardened, the tension in his jaw—I know on some level he was trying to protect me, convince me to let him in, to rely on him, and that his intentions came from a place of love, but it didn’t feel like love at that moment.

It felt like he was forcing his way in, pushing through the walls he’s not supposed to breach.

But even as I think that, another part of me just wants him. The wrap of his arms around me, how his presence alone makes me feel so treasured. I wish we could just move past this, but every time I try to figure out how, I hit a block—I’m just not able to let him in the way he wants.

And it’s not just Ethan that’s got my thoughts in a spin. I pick up my cell and check to see if David’s responded to any of my calls or messages.Nothing.

Pushing myself off the couch, I walk over to the landline on my mom’s desk in the corner of the room. Settling into her black leather office chair, my fingers hover over the buttons for a moment before dialing David’s number.

I’m betting on the fact he doesn’t have my mom’s landline saved in his phone, and that he might actually answer if he thinks it’s not me. I need to know he’s okay—maybe if I can mend things with David, it will free up some brain space to help me figure out how to deal with everything that’s going on between me and Ethan.

The phone rings, and with each ring, my anxiety ratchets up another notch. What if he doesn’t answer? What if he’s still mad? Or worse, what if he’s hurt?

Finally, there’s a click on the other end, and David’s voice comes through. “Yeah?”

“David?” My voice sounds small, even to my own ears. I clear my throat. “It’s Blake.”

There’s a pause, and for a moment, I think he might hang up. When he speaks again, his tone is flat. “What do you want?”

The chill in his voice hurts my already aching heart all over again. “I just wanted to check on you. I was worried after what happened on the boardwalk.”

“Worried? Really? Didn’t seem like it when your boyfriend was beating the crap out of me.”

I wince, even though I know he’s exaggerating. “I’m so sorry about that. I didn’t want things to go that way. Ethan just… he lost control. He was scared for me.”

“Yeah, well, he’s got a funny way of showing it. He’s a fucking animal.”

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