Page 63 of When We Are Falling

I take a deep breath, trying to shake off the heavy feeling. “Not right now.”

We finish cleaning and closing up in companionable silence. As we lock the doors and step out into the cool night air, I can’t help but glance at my phone again, David’s message a constant weight around my heart. Wishing I could get rid of the worry, but it lingers, a reminder that not everything is as perfect as it seems.

Ethan’s staring at me: “Hey, come with me. I want to show you something.”

He takes my hand, his grip warm and reassuring, and leads me down to the marina where theFreedomis docked. The boat rocks gently against the pier as we step on board.

He guides me to the front of the boat, laying out a thick, cozy blanket on the deck. “Come on, lie down with me.”

I settle down next to him, the blanket warm against the coolness of the evening. Fall is almost here, the seasons changing, summer fading behind us.

We lie there, side by side, staring at the expanse of stars above us. It’s breathtaking, the sky a canvas of twinkling lights. I feel both incredibly small and inexplicably significant, like I’m part of something vast and beautiful.

Ethan’s voice breaks the silence, low and reflective. “I know something’s up, but I don’t know what. I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark and guess this has to do with your moms or David.”

His words take me by surprise. “Maybe a little of both,” I say, staring up at the sky.

He takes my hand, a treasuring hold, his thumb tracing circles against my palm. “My parents’ marriage was a disaster. They hated each other, and I was always caught in the middle. I understand how much it hurts right now with Charlotte gone. It’s like a part of you is missing, and you don’t know if it will ever come back.”

I turn my head to look at him, his handsome profile illuminated by the faint glow of the marina lights. “It’s hard,” I admit. “I keep thinking she’ll walk through the door, but she doesn’t. And I don’t know how to make things better.”

“The not being able to change things, that feeling of having no control is the worst part.” He reaches out with his other hand, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Have you heard from David? He hasn’t shown up again, has he?”

I sigh, feeling the weight of his question. “He sent me a text this afternoon. It just said,How could you do this to me?I don’t know what to do.”

He looks up at the stars, the vast enormity of it all reflected and condensed in his pupils. “Part of me thinks maybe you should just testify against Sylvia, especially if you believe David is telling the truth about the abuse. It will calm him down and maybe he’ll stop hassling you. Leave you alone.”

A flash of defensiveness for David soars through me: “I don’t want him to leave me alone. And I don’t remember anything like that. It feels unethical to make accusations that, for me at least, I know aren’t true. I believe she hurt David, but nothing happened to me.”

Ethan’s jaw tightens, and he turns to face me fully. “I get it. You’re in an impossible situation.”

“Yeah.”

He raises my hand to his mouth, kissing the back of it. “Man, that Sylvia sounds like a real piece of work. I’m sorry you had to go through that. It hurts me to think of you as a child in places that weren’t safe.”

His words hit me hard, a lump forming in my throat. “I was so scared all the time,” I confess. “But David... he was always there, sneaking me food when I was punished, trying to make things better. I can’t imagine how much worse it was for him after I left.”

Ethan’s eyes soften. “You’re so strong. But you don’t have to carry this burden alone. I’m here for you, however you need me.”

A surge of gratitude. “Thank you. It means a lot to me. I just... I don’t want to drag you into this mess.”

He shakes his head. “I’m already in it. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

We lie there in silence for a while, the gentle rocking of the boat and the soothing sounds of the water creating a peaceful backdrop despite my churning thoughts.

“Talk to me,” he says, his voice low.

I take a deep breath, the familiar ache of old memories stirring in my chest. Ethan’s steady presence beside me gives me the courage to keep talking about that life I left behind so many years ago.

“It wasn’t all bad, you know. Being in foster care. There were some decent people who were really trying to make a difference in kids’ lives despite the flawed system. Case workers and foster parents who genuinely wanted to help. There were a couple of people over the years that were really invested in seeing me succeed.”

Ethan listens intently, his gaze never leaving mine.

“But the system is so broken.” A note of bitterness creeps into my tone. “Kids fall through the cracks all the time. Sometimes there aren’t even emergency placements available, and children end up sleeping in the caseworkers’ offices.”

I pause, swallowing hard. “I had to do that several times when I was a kid. It was awful. Crying toddlers, angry teenagers. No privacy, no sense of security. Just lots of hurting kids.”

Ethan’s hand tightens around mine, his expression pained. “I can’t imagine how hard that must have been.”

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