Page 67 of Gifted Destiny

Zosia

I’m terrified, but my terror doesn’t involve shades or spirits. Meeting my long-dead grandmother carries more significance than my father’s identity. Atanea was the last legitimate sphinx and librarian. Her blood flows in my veins, and she wanted her descendants to assume the role after her. Will she still want the same after she sees me?

I’ve come to terms with my past. I’ve accepted the changes it wrought in my mind and body, but legendary sphinxes probably uphold higher standards than I do.

I don’t agree with Avery’s insistent reassurances. Her judgment does matter; sphinxes are practically royalty in the supernatural community. They are majestic protectors, and some of the world’s greatest treasures are in our care.

I try to soothe my worries with the reminder that Sage chose me, but her current silence erases this comfort. What if she’s avoiding speaking to me because she regrets her choice? What if appointing me is her greatest mistake?

My mind insists on rehashing every decision I’ve made since I arrived. Did I fail her when I chose my guardians? When I made Ansel a gargoyle? Did I mishandle the BSP or Bren’s magic?

A therapist might blame my self-pity on my lack of a suitable role model. Mary, the orphanage’s caretaker, is the only maternal presence in my life, and she despised my existence. I was inconvenient, burdensome, and constantly making mistakes. I didn’t want to make her life more difficult, but it was an automatic drawback of my limited mobility. Many factors affect my independence, most of them beyond my control, and I couldn’t seem to live without help. My chair doesn’t fit through most doors, stairs are an insurmountable obstacle, and I needed new braces and shoes as I grew. I could never achieve the invisibility or independence I desperately craved.

I still don’t have either. I thought I could manage because I finally had help, but I’m struggling against these new threats and Sage’s absence. The consequences are also monumental. My decisions will affect the entire supernatural world, and my actions will be recorded in the library’s history – good and bad.

I’m reluctant to leave the safety and comfort of Avery’s touch. I’m not ashamed that he strokes me like a housecat, although many shifters would find my behavior disgraceful. Our bond strengthens with every touch, though. The strength of this bond makes my incomplete one with Bren more painful.

My gaze pulls the mage to me. His pale green eyes still spark intermittently with blue when he crouches in front of me. “Your ancestors accepted you when Sage did, little lioness, because they are a part of her. You are their legacy regardless of the horrors you endured as a child.” Every word Bren speaks is honest and resolute.

His unwavering confidence in me makes me more certain that I didn’t choose the library’s guardians incorrectly. They are the perfect mates and excellent protectors. My head instinctively butts against him, and he obliges by stroking the back of my head.

“We could ask Garrett to call Tremayne again,” Avery interjects thoughtfully. “I am certain his wisdom could fill a small library. Many mages wouldn’t claim the knowledge of summoning, but he wouldn’t withhold his assistance.”

“Avery is right. You aren’t alone.” Bren’s words, reminiscent of Avery’s earlier reassurance, might be repetitive but necessary. I have the four of them, but my allies don’t end there. Tremayne, Ansel, and the uncorrupted BSP detective are on our side. I’ve always had Kodi as a friend and moral support, but I have more now.

I am not alone, and I won’t be alone even if Atanea rejects me. Her judgment will hurt, but it won’t nullify the gains I’ve made over the past couple of weeks.

“Why can’t I remember a simple thing like asking for help?” My question is weary but less disheartened than a minute ago.

“Shh.” Bren and Avery shush me simultaneously, provoking a smile. My bond with Bren may be incomplete, but he’s in sync with the other men.

“It will require more than a few days to unlearn the overly critical attitudes you’ve maintained for most of your life,mon amour. The first step is to cease blaming yourself for things you cannot control.”

Avery’s censure strikes me to my core. He doesn’t seek to hurt me, but my harsh self-treatment wounds him. Every aspect of love and relationships is new to me, but I understand if I reverse the situation. I dislike it when my guardians express self-loathing.

“I shall try,” I promise Avery before closing my eyes and contacting Garrett. The mental link is strange but preferable to stairs or a telephone.

He complies but insists on joining us to relay Tremayne’s response. Running up ten flights of stairs causes his chest toexpand with deeper breaths, and I appreciate the strain of his muscles under his tight shirt.

I haven’t fully acclimated to four handsome men surrounding me, but I no longer complain about it. The view is phenomenal and most students agree. The thought sparks a twinge of jealousy but also guilt. I shake both aside. Firstly, these are my mates. Secondly, preventing an evil book from gobbling up innocent patrons takes precedence over our posted hours.

“Your ghost is pouting,” Garrett says before relaying the mage’s message.

“Aww, poor baby,” I reply but take a second to connect with my best friend. I’m relieved that contact with the book hasn’t weakened him, but he’s definitely moping about his exclusion. I promise to tell him everything and remind him that he’s protecting everyone by watching the book. His complaints are predictable, but he sullenly agrees.

I don’t mention that I’m glad he isn’t here to see what he might have become, especially if my grandmother turns out to be a grumpy shade. He worries enough about the afterlife.

I open my eyes and reassure the others. “Kodi will remain with the book. What did Tremayne say?”

“He said that your course of action is sound and should be relatively easy. He suggested that you try touching the photo of the ancestor you wish to contact and ask them to speak with you.” The shifter’s brow furrows. “I mentioned that Sage and the goblins aren’t responding, and he is worried that the book has released a binding spell. If so, your ancestors could also be affected and unable to respond. If no one responds, we should destroy the book.”

I nod absently, consumed with the worry that the library might be bound in some way. There’s really only one way to discover the truth.

“Let’s do this then,” I declare with false bravado. “Bren, can you put Atanea’s photo on the floor? This way, I can touch it while in my sphinx form.” My guardians know me well enough by now that they don’t question me. I want to greet potential judgment in the form with the least visible faults, and my sphinx imbues me with self-confidence.

“What did the gargoyles say?” the shifter asks Bren as the mage fiddles with the frame. His head is pressed against the wall, peering behind it for the hardware. I imagine that my grandmother’s image is amused with the difficulty he’s having.

After thirty seconds, Garrett grows impatient. He slips past me and gently pushes his brother’s hand aside. Bren answers his question as if nothing has happened. “The gargoyle captain hasn’t noticed any strange movement, but all of the sentries are on alert. He said that the last time he woke all the gargoyles was when Agustin disappeared. They’ve caught glimpses of Walthers and Addington in Walthers office, but the humans are just watching and waiting.” Bren’s gaze veers from his brother to me as the photo is loosed. It looks almost dainty in Garrett’s hands.