Page 64 of Gifted Destiny

“He wasn’t exaggerating his attraction toward you, Zosia. I scented his desire during your first interaction. He prideshimself on bodily restraint, and I’m certain his lack of control distressed him.” I pause to evaluate her emotions. When she accepts this necessary truth, I continue. “This doesn’t excuse his words, however. He pushed your buttons intentionally, exploiting your skewed perceptions of shame. I was angry that he might increase your distress regarding your natural instincts.” I offer a wry chuckle. “Perhaps I am still a little angry,” I muse aloud. Before meeting her, I never revealed my inner thoughts in this way.

The noise she makes is a combination of a growl and a purr. It’s sexy and adorable. When I reach for her, she allows me to stroke her back. I’m pleased that she lets me touch her while she’s in this form. One of my primary love languages is physical affection, as she’s probably surmised.

Her thick coat is soft instead of bristly, and her form radiates warmth. Although I don’t display the icy temperature of most vampires, I am colder than most humans. She offers comfort and heat.

“While you’re correct, I don’t believe his attack was intentional. Addington trained him to find and exploit weak points in another’s armor. Hmmm ….” The soft hum is followed by an explanation. “This form brings clarity. We’re not separate entities, but I find it easier to dismiss negative thoughts as a sphinx. I don’t know why I didn’t realize this before, but it makes sense. Physically, I am more capable and powerful.”

“In addition, you are more ensnared in your magicless upbringing while in human form. You cannot deny magic after you’ve shifted.”

“Very true. I should shift more often, especially if I am sinking into old habits.” She leans into me, her tail twining around my calf. “Can I ask a favor?”

“Always,mon amour.” I infuse my words with truth and love, and her aura shivers in response.

“Kodi is good at humoring me out of those moods, but he doesn’t know yet to tell me to shift. Might you ...?”

“Of course. I will suggest a shift when your emotions indicate that you’ve returned to pre-library thinking.”

Her aura glows with gratitude, but her pace also slows. Her emotions indicate she’s mired in thought. While I wait, I find myself lost in a daydream. I wish, for multiple reasons, that we weren’t in the middle of a dangerous crisis. I want to make love to her here – while magic sparkles in the air and power seeps into our skin. I tuck the idea away. After we’ve solved our current issues, we can explore this tantalizing prospect.

“I often think about what might have been, but I was just thinking about how much easier this could be. I imagine past sphinxes took their daughters under their wings, quite literally, and taught them everything they needed to know from an early age. Sage and the goblins rested and protected while the torch was passed. The goblins could gather books and fight the bookworms but stay out of sight. I keep thinking her absence is wrong, but this might have been typical for previous librarians.”

Although she tries to minimize her emotions, hurt and betrayal accompany her words. Sphinxes are a matriarchal species, and her mother’s decision to run deprived her of more than just a parental figure.

My fingers comb through her fur as we consider her words. Our link suggests the touch soothes us equally, and the rhythmic motion facilitates my ability to problem-solve.

“The oldest vampires created impressive methods of passing their knowledge and lore to younger generations. They found a way to exist as shades, which is very different from the form Kodi has taken. Sage has overseen your ancestors, but does she also present as a manifestation of them? Do you believe you might be able to contact your ancestors in some way?”

“You’re brilliant. I don’t know if I can contact my ancestors, but Sage might be more accessible in the legend room. If her power is concentrated in any physical place in this realm, this is the best place to look.” She begins walking again, this time with more purpose.

We stop in front of the arc of energy that forms a doorway. “I wasn’t sure it would be here.” Her tail swishes, slapping my leg more than once. She doesn’t seem to notice, and I don’t mind. “After we exited last time, the doorway disappeared and I wondered whether Fin needs to be present for access.”

My brows draw together. “On each of my visits to the tenth floor, the magic that creates the entrance is always present. However, I cannot say whether that means the door is always open. Is it open now?”

“It is,” she tells me. “Perhaps the wall I saw was an illusion.”

I expect her to enter, but she still pauses. “I should check in with the others first. I forget that I don’t need to be near them to do so.”

Her energy flares as she reaches out to the others, and I’m captivated by its beauty. The threads of magic that extend toward Garrett and Kodi are shaded with the guardians’ primary aura colors. The one she extends toward the roof is primarily golden; it appears weak and lonely compared to the rest.

“Etienne says that there is nothing to report. Students approach the library but turn away when they see we’re closed. Bren is fine and speaking with Ansel.” She clears her throat, which sounds more like a growl in this form. Longing and uncertainty suffuse her emotions when she speaks of her remaining guardian.

“Garrett hasn’t made much progress either. Addington’s known allies avoid him, and the bystanders are acting cagey. Kodi says the book is exactly as we left it. He’s bored. None of this is surprising.” She chuckles as her shoulder bumps my hipagain. This appears to be her sphinx’s equivalent of a touch or handhold.

“Your presence beside me prompted the idea, by the way. The bonds are unforgettable because they’re new and strange. Telepathic communication with the others …. Well, that feels like it belongs in one of my fantasy books, not my life.”

“Soon, this strangeness will become intuitive and natural to you. You’ve been inadvertently hiding from this world and yourself for half of your life, so it’s not surprising that it feels unnatural. You’re not alone, though. All of us are here for you. Whenever you have need of me, just say the word.”

My words trigger her self-consciousness, but it lessens more each day. Some individuals carry their trauma throughout their lives. It becomes their shield and sword; the sword is wielded whenever they are scared, and the shield prevents anyone or anything from getting too close. My beautiful mate has made the painful but rewarding choice to put aside her sword and shield.

Although I have no business claiming personal pride in her progress or her accomplishments, I still feel it. She doesn’t possess adequate pride in herself yet, so I shall hold it for her.

“Speaking of need ….” Her words trail away until I prompt her.

“Yes?”

“You seemed hungry at breakfast, but I’m not sensing that as much now. Am I wrong?”

“You are not wrong on either count,mon trésor. I cannot explain it, but it seems that this time alone with you has sated my physical hunger. I don’t know how permanent the satisfaction is, but I am not hungry right now.” I duck my head sheepishly. “I apologize if this feels burdensome to hear. I understand the demands upon you, and I loathe making more.”

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