Page 77 of Saving Destiny

I can’t resist inspecting her emotions again because she’s accustomed to being independent to the point of stubborn denial. My close examination reveals that she’s flustered, and the spark of fear could be better described as shocked surprise. It would benefit me to study the nuances between these similar emotions, and I doubt they are the only ones that resemble each other enough to cause confusion. I’m curious as to the source of her surprise, but it’s not necessary that I know everything.

I also doubt that my mate is ready to know how entwined we have become, but she’ll understand in time. The spark of desire the brothers kindled within her remains. It calls to me, but I must ignore it. Now isn’t the time.

I keep my expression carefully blank as I consider the secrets piling up … there’s another as well. I no longer crave sustenance in the form of food. The taste of her blood has ruined me for all other nourishment. This is something I’ll need to control or negate. She can’t be expected to sustain me on her own, even though a drop seems to last longer than the calories from food or blood from any other source.

The gargoyles permit Ansel into the library, but we remain closed. A few of the students returned the moment the downpour eased. Although they mutter disapprovingly, the looming gargoyles prevent them from nearing or even speaking their protests aloud. A few visitors look like spectators and appear more fascinated with the gargoyles than the books inside the building. Does this happen every time the library opens? Perhaps it’s a common occurrence even when the library is closed, and I wonder if Apocrypha has any rules regarding loitering. I imagine the students who are enamored with the gargoyles would be doubly interested if they knew what Ansel’s visit means. I’m excited, despite having only an inkling of the choice Zosia will offer the former library protectorate.

Ansel’s energy is almost entirely depleted and his ambling pace is much slower than the last time I saw him. The scent of imminent death clings to him; the odor is strangely dissimilar from the corpse-like reek of the Vanderbeek woman.

Zosia’s sorrow slams into me like a punch to the chest. I rub at the spot, but it only seems to seep into the lines of my mate mark and makes my back sting. I have coped with pain in my life, but the sudden strength of her regret and despair surprises me. Once she’s mated to more guardians, I won’t bear the whole of her emotions because we’ll share it equally.

“Ansel.” Zosia breathes his name. “I’m so sorry. I should have visited with you sooner.”

The shifter’s energy pauses at the nearest table and I hear the creak of Zosia’s wheelchair as she maneuvers to sit opposite him. I walk beside her but stay standing.

“I knew what the consequences would be when I agreed to be the library’s interim protector, Zosia. I fully understood what would become of me once you accepted your rightful place.” He pauses. “Was your first morning a success?” I’m certain he’s questioning the piles of abandoned books and the gaggle of students milling near the entrance.

“We had a bit of a situation,” Zosia hedges. Bren has been silent since he descended the stairs, possibly lost in thought, but he steps closer at the words. Kodi hovers but he doesn’t interrupt. He’s grown more mature in the last two days, or he’s less bitter because he’s been given hope. Whatever it is, the ghost has proven himself more helpful than usual.

“Some woman entered with an illegal pheromone trap. She also hurled insults that were unacceptable. I’m afraid I lost control,” Bren admits softly.

A moment of silence passes, and I imagine it involves Ansel studying the mage. “Does your loss of control bear any relation to the sudden storm that broke over Apocrypha but seemed to be limited to a radius of three miles?” The shifter’s voice is careful, but he can’t hide the undercurrent of apprehension and awe. He understands the gravity of the situation even if my fellow guardians don’t. Possessing a tie to the elements is a common ability among mages but influencing the atmosphere is another thing entirely.

“It might have been a coincidence,” I say into the sudden stillness and attempt to infuse the might of the library behind my distraction tactic. I’m uncertain if it works, but Ansel needs to understand that we don’t have time to discuss Bren’s magic. Zosia is confused by my diversion, but she lets the mystery of Bren’s magic fade to focus on the situation at hand.

“You’re here so that we can discuss a different topic, Ansel. I realize you were the one who watched over me while I was at the magicless orphanage. I believe you also provided the wheelchair and my access to the special orthotics and shoes? I assume the library instructed you to keep me hidden from Addington and his partners in crime. I want to express my gratitude.”

“You have regained your memories then?” Ansel asks. “I confess that I’ve slept through most of the hours since you last saw me, but I have a trusted friend monitoring Walthers. The vamp-mage has been in a foul mood since he and the alpha tried to enter the library. This anger has led him to the majority of the faculty. The entire campus has devolved into an atmosphere of distress, fear, and anger. Several long-term members have resigned.”

“How?” Kodi asks. I doubt even he knows exactly what he’s asking but it’s the first question in my mind as well.

“Nearly everyone has secrets or a past they wish to keep hidden. Walthers knows which threats will destroy a professor’s or faculty member’s career. With his affiliation to the alpha shifter and his position on the board, he’s been given carte blanche at Apocrypha to suggest that anyone be replaced or removed at his behest. He doesn’t care whether they’re dedicated, proficient, or how long they’ve served the university. In the rare case that someone he’s against doesn’t have any material worth using as blackmail, he resorts to threatening families or loved ones. I might be one of the only ones he hasn’t yet threatened, but he probably knows I’m dying. That trusted friend I mentioned earlier? He’s very much a threat and Walthers is encountering difficulty where he’s concerned.”

“What a horrid man,” Zosia cries. Her distress and anger are difficult to separate from my own.

“But … this might be beneficial,” Garrett rumbles. Chairs creak, and I assume the others are looking to him for an explanation. “Walthers is actively making enemies. Usually my brother is the one who spits out quotes, but I’m sure you’ve all heard this one – the enemy of our enemy is our friend. If we muster the power to destabilize him, those enemies might become allies. Can we take his place if we make a bid to represent the campus on the OSC in addition to the library?”

“Unfortunately not,” Ansel replies. “The university and the library must remain separate, but I can offer you a list of suitable replacements. Without power, he’s nothing, and Garrett is right. Removing him from the board is the best way to defeat him. Walthers is contributing to his downfall. Until now, he’s maintained his position with subtle threats and well-positioned allies, but something has shifted. He’s made enemies of almost everyone on campus. His few remaining allies aren’t loyal to him. They stay by his side because they want to assume his position when he’s gone.”

Ansel pauses and takes a deep breath. I wince when I hear the rattle deep within his lungs and hope that Zosia doesn’t hear or understand its meaning. After a second to regain his energy, he continues. “The next OSC board meeting is in two weeks. That’s the best time to make the case that Walthers is a threat to the library and needs to be replaced. In order to do so, however, the library needs to present as a strong and united entity. Not only will Addington try to discount you, but the OSC will also demand that you take responsibility if the replacement fails. Your youth will also work against you; all of the current board members hail from a previous generation of elders.”

“We can do it.” I lend Zosia strength through my words and gently squeeze her shoulder when she begins to doubt Ansel’s faith in our abilities. “The library chose Apocrypha as its home, and it’s important that the two entities are not at odds if the supernatural community is to find peace. We need to be allied.”

“You two have already bonded,” Ansel remarks with surprise, and I feel his gaze upon me. Even before Zosia’s arrival, he was one of the few people who showed me kindness – unlike the rest of Dighit’s compatriots. I’m almost certain that my former master is willingly allied to Walthers. They’d been close and Dighit always coveted his position of power.

“We are,” I reply with a nod. Although I don’t want to be a braggart, I can’t fully disguise the note of pride in my claim. I will sacrifice my life for the library and my mate. The burning conviction had been present before Zosia completed the bond, but it’s been enhanced a hundred-fold. If I fail in my duties, I will lose everything that makes me who I am.

“I’m uncertain why you asked me to visit, Zosia, but this is probably the last time I’ll see you.” Weariness and sorrow punctuate Ansel’s words, but it’s not sorrow for his life. He’s accepted his end and is prepared to leave this plane. He can’t sense the anticipation hovering around the table and the library; Sage approves of Zosia’s intention to make him a guardian. Ansel must accept though. A gargoyle needs to consent to the position because it’s not necessarily the expected afterlife of rest and peace.

“I have an offer for you, Ansel, if you’ll accept…” Zosia offers slowly. “We are in need of a new gargoyle.” She sounds excited, but I don’t sense the same in Ansel’s aura like I expected. Instead, trepidation laces it and I brace myself for his words.

“I am more than honored, Zosia, but there are things you must know before I accept this offer. I can't accept in good conscience until you know everything.”

Was I wrong about Ansel? I fear that my earlier assumptions might be incorrect, and I’m uncertain that we want to know everything Ansel has hidden. Perhaps ignorance is bliss, but sphinxes are notoriously curious. Knowledge is power to them, and my chest clenches in preparation. I’ll save Zosia from the truth if necessary.

Chapter 39

Zosia

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