Page 64 of Saving Destiny

Zosia

My sigh is heavy and loud as I crawl out of bed and busy myself with preparations for the day. Kodi remains on my mind. We shared a few meaningful moments that hint at a future together, but the past remains between us like a lead curtain. Occasionally, we find the strength to pull it aside, but its cumbersome weight prevents us from moving forward entirely.

I force myself to look for the silver lining before the negative aspects ruin my mood entirely. The ghost and I accomplished more in the last twenty-four hours than we had in seven years. I give thanks for his kiss, even though it ended on a sour note.

The library has provided me with the shower and tub combination of my dreams, and it’s almost enough to wash away my worries. It’s equipped with two showerheads; one is detachable and secured at the level of the bench I usually sit on. Both showerheads have variable pressure settings, and I’ve experimented enough to know that one delivers a punishing spray. It can massage me if I’m feeling sore, but it’s also perfect for rinsing my hair. The subpar shower at the orphanage never rinsed my hair all the way. A hinged door on the side of the shower allows me to turn it into a jetted tub when I prefer to soak.

The mark Kodi said he was looking for is so obvious that I doubt he missed it. When I raise my arms to wash my hair, it nearly jumps out at me. Predictably, the mark is in the same place that it is on my sphinx form. It’s also the same shape and color – a golden lotus outlined in blue. Both colors shimmer, but the gold makes my skin look inked with molten metal.

I rub the pad of my finger over the design. Although the outline appears slightly raised, the mark doesn’t hurt like a real tattoo might. I’ve never had a tattoo, though, and the realization that it will remain until I die hits me with unexpected strength. My first inclination is to ignore the commitment inherent within a mate mark, but I clench my jaw and force myself to consider it.

I could do a lot worse than Avery when considering a lifelong partner. The vampire is considerate and easy going, but he also respects and understands my past and shortcomings as much as any other person can.

My train of thought stops abruptly when I realize I’m still thinking like one of the magicless. I absorbed their attitudes about commitments and relationships. My lack of self-esteem also presents a list of insecurities that taint my ability to think objectively about my needs and responsibilities. Maybe with time, I’ll accept that my life as a supernatural will last longer and my duty to the library is the most important factor. My relationship with the vampire, or any of my guardians, is a product of the responsibilities required in my heritage. It’s almost like a job requirement, I tell myself, even though it’s more personal.

I pull my hair into a thick braid before it has time to dry completely and dress carefully, choosing a shirt with wing-holes so I can shift if necessary. This one is smaller than the other is, and I think Sage has taken the time to tailor the shirts so they’re not as revealing. I thank her silently, but nervousness still causes my hands to shake. I pause more than once to utilize the deep breathing exercises my old therapist taught me.

When I cue into my sphinx’s instincts, I realize I feel stronger. Avery shines like a beacon when compared to my other guardians, and his emotions are clearly defined. He feels satisfied, content, and secure in the bond that connects him to the library and me. His contentment is reassuring considering Kodi joined us and I practically kicked him out of my bed this morning.

And I’m thinking like a magicless again, I scold myself. Avery acted as if it were a natural occurrence; perhaps many supernaturals have multiple mates. Or maybe my mates are simply programmed differently, except Garrett. I could access census statistics, but I’m too focused on my first day of real work. I couldn’t concentrate long enough to complete a successful query, even if it is just research in my mind.

When I’m as prepared as I’m going to get, I open my bedroom door. Bren catches my eye first because he’s bouncing around more than usual. He walks a path between his bedroom and the dining table for reasons I can’t determine. When he reaches the table, he takes a bite of his cereal before turning around. He doesn’t retrieve anything from his room, so I think he’s wandering because he’s restless.

Avery sits at the table with a bemused expression, but he isn’t eating. It makes me wonder how long the small amount of blood he’d taken from me will satisfy him. He looks up when I enter, his gaze easily finding me. His smile is bright and beautiful, and I return it so that he’ll see the shift in my energy and feel it in my emotions.

Garrett nods gruffly in my general direction as he shoves vegetables and fruit into the blender with a ruthlessness they don’t deserve. He looks capable of smashing them into a pulp without using the appliance, and I try to gauge his mood.

Before I can second-guess my actions, I detour into the kitchen instead of sitting down. The braces hang from my forearms as I awkwardly wrap my arms around the massive shifter. I don’t know where my newfound courage comes from, but my instincts lead me.

I balance myself on his solid form and splay my palms over his rock-hard abs like anchors since my hands don’t reach each other. His muscles are so firm that they defy science. I thought humans required a layer of fat over their muscle, but Garrett doesn’t; he’s composed entirely of hard muscle. My nipples harden and heat rushes through my body as I curb the urge to explore him. I want to find out if he’s this unyielding everywhere, but we don’t have time.

Although Garrett stiffens at first, he soon relaxes and breathes into the embrace. I swear I feel some of his tension leaving him. The abused produce gets a break as he relinquishes his assault and covers my hands with his.

When another body aligns with my back, I squeak in surprise. Bren rests his head on my shoulder and breathes in my scent. Although the younger brother isn’t small or weak in any way, he feels like it when compared to his brother. Our Zosia sandwich is unbalanced.

Although Garrett grunts with irritation when Bren reaches around me, he doesn’t pull away. We stay like this for several minutes, just breathing, and I don’t need my braces because they hold me up.

“How are you this morning, little lioness?” Bren asks in a serious tone. His breath tickles my neck.

“I’m good,” I breathe, and the honesty in the two words surprises me. I haven’t feltgoodfor a while.“I’m nervous about today, but that’s expected. How are the both of you?”

“I’m nervous too, and it’s not expected,” Garrett grumbles. His answer explains why he’s so tense.

I hide a smile against his back and squeeze him a little tighter before I start to pull away. It’s unbearably hot between the shifter and the restless mage. Before I regain my braces and my balance, Bren presses a tender kiss against the curve of my neck.

Although it’s a sweet kiss, my proximity to both of them imbues it with passion. I’d been fully satisfied after Avery made love to me, but I’d wanted Kodi earlier. Now, I wrestle with lustful thoughts involving my other two guardians. I’ve been turned on, and I think it will take more effort to turn me back off.

Garrett inhales deeply and growls. When his body vibrates against mine, I struggle between pulling away and holding him tighter. The sound hadn’t indicated anger. Bren balances me as the huge shifter twists in my arms, and I tilt my neck back to see his face. My neck tilts back to see his expression.

“Don’t start thinking dirty thoughts or my mind will not be on my job,” he warns me. I barely suppress a mischievous smile when I realize the shifter’s growl had indicated interest when he scented my desire.

Avery emits pleasure along the bond we share, and I try to understand the bond we share. The connection to him is bizarre; it feels like I’m inside his mind, but I can’t read his thoughts.

I didn’t realize that Kodi had joined us until he chuckles from the common area. “Insatiable little minx, aren’t you?”

Although I can’t see him, I sense his amusement. My cheeks heat even as I question why the men can’t address me by my name. Creating nicknames has become a strange competition, but Kodi has called me a minx for as long as I can remember. I push away the bad memories and focus on the good – primarily him reading a book to be as we lie on opposite sides of my cell door.

“Her insatiable nature is part of being a sphinx,” Bren comments absently as he takes a step back. He doesn’t abandon me, though; he helps me rearrange my braces for support before leaving me entirely.

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