Page 55 of Saving Destiny

I’ve only been carried once in recent memory – when Ansel swung me into his arms on the orphanage’s steps. At the time, I’d been mortified. Whether he used his shifter’s strength doesn’t really matter; I’m not light by any means. Avery possesses vampire strength and he doesn’t appear to find my weight a burden, but I’m still self-conscious.

Although his pulse pounds steadily in his neck, a look of concern crosses his face when we enter my room. It’s set up to accommodate my wheelchair, however, so there’s nothing actually in the way. He maneuvers the gauntlet without any difficulty and doesn’t run me into any of the wooden furniture.

What is it like to see the way he does? I find the distracting thought fascinating, but it also begs a question. Does anyone ever wonder what it’s like to be me? Empathy supposedly stems from standing in someone else’s shoes, but normal feet wouldn’t fit into my specially shaped orthotics. I highly doubt anyone would want to fill my shoes, especially not the time before Ansel’s involvement. Although someone else might want to be held by this beautiful vampire, I doubt they’d trade if it meant they also received my legs.

“You’re nervous.” Avery’s gentle tone distracts me from my bizarre and wandering thoughts.

“I thought I was hiding it better,” I joke in a breathy voice.

His beautiful lips tilt upward. I want to kiss him again because his kisses provide the perfect tutelage. He coaxes but doesn’t take total control and manages to be demanding but not forceful. It’s perfect for my lack of inexperience. He also tastes of cherries even though he’d only taken one bite of the magnificent pie.

“Don’t fear. I won’t ravish you immediately. We can take our time, enjoy each other’s company, and talk.”

I fake a surprised gasp. “You mean foreplay?”

The vibration and sensuality inherent in his chuckling laugh sends a shiver of delight through me. Kodi snorts from his position just above Avery. It’s as if he’s afraid we’ll leave him behind – even though he could literally pass through any locked door.

“She’s like me. She resorts to sarcasm when she’s nervous.”

I’m certain Avery already knows this, but the ghost’s familiarity is reassuring. Although Kodi can’t physically touch me, I’m grateful for his presence. The fact that he’ll be observing such an intimate act doesn’t feel awkward. I’m accustomed to him being near even when he’s not participating.

“May I close the door?” Avery asks after we’ve crossed the threshold.

I grumble a garbled yes, and he balances effortlessly on one foot and nudges the door closed with his other foot.

I look around my room as we enter. It’s faultlessly clean like every other place in the library, and it provides yet another reason why I can never leave – not that I needed more. Living here provides me with a housecleaner and a chef. My nightstand is bare except for a pile of books, the healing balm that Ansel gave me, and a jug of water with a glass. Otherwise, the room looks almost unlived in. I didn’t have any personal affects at the orphanage, but maybe I should see about getting some to make this space more my own.

For a moment, I think the room should lookdifferent. I confessed my love to Kodi last night and I’m about to have sex for the first time on the ridiculously huge bed, but it hasn’t changed. The high windows reveal lingering twilight, but I’ve finally realized they’re not actually windows. They project light and a picture of the world outside because the library doesn’t want anyone to see inside, but she also doesn’t want her residents to feel trapped. It’s amazing that a building considers these details, but my interactions with her have assured me of one undeniable truth – the entity that oversees this library is notjusta building. She’s far more than this, although I can’t describe or explain themore.

The furnishings are all a dark green with lighter accents and mahogany wood. As I stare at my bed, which the library remade for me, I realize I’m never going to get used to how big it is; the mattress looks like two kings pushed together. The only other pieces of furniture are the nightstand and the short, wide dresser. My bedroom is specifically meant for sleeping – and this.

Kodi settles on the far side of the bed in his usual spot and the familiarity of it is soothing. I still wish I could read him better, but his emotions remain dampened. I can sense him like my other guardians, but everything about him feels muted, as if I’m connecting with him through a thick pane of glass. Right now, he’s a silent observer, but I know it won’t last because he doesn’t stay quiet for long.

Avery places me on the bed with gentle care, and I bend over to remove my socks before I roll towards the middle of the bed to make room for him. The four of us have formed a habit of taking off our shoes when we enter our apartments. Of course, Kodi can’t remove his shoes so he’s exempt from the rule. It can be difficult for me to use my braces if I’m not wearing my special shoes, but I didn’t want to be the only one still wearing them so I’d adjusted. Although I know it’s a filthy custom to wear footwear indoors, I was also self-conscious of my feet. When no one stared at them, I relaxed and realized my feet don’t hurt as much when I don’t wear shoes all of the time.

At the orphanage, the caretaker forced us to wear shoes in every area except our bedrooms. She’d claimed being barefoot presented a safety hazard, but many of the children had ill-fitting footwear or their shoes were so old they were falling apart. They’d whined and I’d sympathized with them. Before my mysterious benefactor – Ansel – had procured my orthotics, normal footwear had caused excruciating pain.

Avery joins me on the bed, but his brow furrows. I automatically think he’s changed his mind and my heart stutters in my chest. Then, he stretches across the lower part of the bed, using his arms to gauge the size and deftly avoiding Kodi’s wispy form. “Your bed is rather large,” he comments with amusement and his forehead smooths again. He’d believed his senses were tricking him.

I release a silent sigh of relief. “I know. All five of us could probably sleep here with room to spare. When I first saw it, I hadn’t known about my guardians yet. Gilly told me it was this large to accommodate sleeping in my sphinx form.” I roll my eyes even though he can’t see the motion. I’m beginning to think Gilly enjoys playing tricks on me despite her motherly attitude.

Avery offers a small smile as he sits beside me. My thoughts are scattered and my body is restless as anxiety rolls through me. I take several deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself; it helps that he doesn’t lie down immediately. We could be a group of friends sitting and talking, although I’ve never had that experience. Kodi had always hovered above me in my small room at the orphanage.

“You are entirely new to this?” Avery’s query is gentle and free of judgment.

I fidget with the end of my braid. “Pretty much. I only had a couple quick kisses before I came here. My only knowledge comes from romance novels, and I know they’re romanticized and embellished.” He already knows this is my first time, so I don’t reiterate that detail.

The vampire angles his body towards me and his hands are undemanding when they find mine. “We’re just here now, and I shall follow your lead. If you choose not to do more than lie here, the bond might be satisfied with our closeness.”

His sincere reassurance releases most of the tension from my stiff spine and shoulders. Instead of answering directly, my fingertips trace the shape of his face, copying the way he’d explored mine. He has perfectly symmetrical features and high cheekbones. Hesitantly, I push the silky strands of his hair, loosely held in a braid, to study the outline of his ears. “I wasn’t surprised when you said you have Fae blood. You look like one, but your ears aren’t pointy.”

Avery remains motionless under my exploration, but my shifter senses noticed the increased pace of his heartbeat the second I started touching him. His smile is gentle and his silver eyes are warm. Vampires are usually considered more deadly than shifters but I have no fear of him. Any trepidation I feel is for my own experience and what he might think of me, but I don’t doubt my trust in him.

“I believe my Fae blood is so scarce that it barely registers. I have never needed to connect to the ether.”

An image of the Fae girl at the orphanage rises in my mind. Where is she now? Has she recovered from her sickness? I resolve to ask Ansel and push the thought away before it distracts me.

Avery leans into my touch, and one of his hands mimics my tentative exploration. The lightness of his touch resembles the feel of downy feathers stroking my skin.

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