Page 50 of Saving Destiny

“No matter how many endings I see, there’s never a child. I’ve seen hundreds and never once have I ….” He stops and shakes his head. “Garrett, what if the legendary sphinxes end with Zosia?”

A lead weight drops into my stomach. Did Addington succeed after all? Were all of our plans for nothing? Without a sphinx child to take Zo’s place, this building will be obsolete and nothing we do means anything.

Chapter 27

Zosia

Just as Fin said, Gilly is waiting for me when I land on the main floor. I don’t have a single moment to contemplate the events of the morning – pictures of the family I never met, Avery’s mate mark, or Kodi’s potential to become corporeal. The little goblin resembles a military drill sergeant as she crams as much information into my brain as possible. I wager my job is easier than a magicless librarian’s because I have magic to assist me, but it’s still a lot to learn in a short time. I don’t even have a second to contemplate that this is my first and last job.

Similarly, Duggar takes the men under his wing and explains their duties. I wouldn’t have guessed their responsibilities would be complicated, but each has a specialized role based on their talents and personalities. From the little I manage to overhear, they also receive numerous lectures on the importance of my safety. The library’s magic is powerful beyond measure but her attention is divided exponentially based on the number of patrons she allows; this is when the men are most important.

All of us receive lectures on the library’s limits in addition to information about our tasks. The library’s magic only interacts with her patrons through me. If a customer asks for a book that isn’t readily available to them, I have to send a message to one of the shy goblin children. They snatch it and drop it into a nearby book drop for me to deliver. The library maintains security on every single book within her bounds. When that book touches me, it deactivates, but it’s my responsibility to interface with the customer and assign the title to their name. Instead of individual library cards, every student, professor, or faculty member possesses an identification card. The customers swipe their IDs across a magical device that resembles a computerized card reader, but it’s just a piece of glass and metal that isn’t connected to any energy source. Evidently, the cards are used all over campus and can’t be commandeered by anyone but their owners because they’re cued into the person’s magical energy. Each one has a level that correlates with the individual’s year, course of study, and position.

I’m fascinated by the seemingly high-tech cards and am disappointed when I learn that there are ways to trick the readers or bypass a patron’s level. It’s my duty to ensure that everyone is who and what they claim to be. Gilly tells me that the wealthier students sometimes purchase IDs that allow more privileges than they’ve earned. I roll my eyes at this and decide that rich people are the same whether they have magic or not.

My head is spinning by the time Gilly finally releases me and I join the others for dinner. Tonight, it’s magically prepared by the library because Garrett is too busy to cook. The meal isn’t as delicious as Garrett’s, but it’s still better than anything I ate at the orphanage. Garrett grunts with approval when he notes that my plate has extra nutrients and iron to replenish the blood Avery consumed. He’d also been hounding me to drink water all day, but his badgering had given me breaks from Gilly’s ceaseless stream of information, so I hadn’t protested.

Dinner is mostly silent, and I try to determine if there are reasons behind it other than simple exhaustion. Kodi drifts in and out quietly, but he doesn’t seem as petulant as usual. Evidently, his ghostliness gives him certain advantages, and his assigned role took that into account. Kodi will haunt the stacks, quite literally, searching for any mischief-makers. He seems almost excited to scare the piss out of students who cause trouble; it sounds easier and more fun than my job.

The brothers have been subdued since our journey to the legacy room – the name I’ve given it in my head. Besides Garrett’s mothering reminders, neither of them has said more than a couple words to me. I fret over it before I decide that they’re tired and overwhelmed. I can’t allow myself to think they’re just now regretting their decisions to sign the book or I’ll go mad with self-doubt.

Avery is his usual courteous and attentive self, but he seems to read into the atmosphere and allows the silence. We discuss our jobs somewhat, but an aura of heaviness hangs over the room and our conversations lack the usual jokes and flirting banter.

I slide into bed with Kodi alongside me again as it should be. I’m exhausted but also a little lonely and bereft. My ancestors’ faces linger in my mind and tangle with the weighty knowledge that I am the sole survivor of an important and ancient lineage.

I’ve rarely allowed myself to think about children. It wasn’t an imminent decision because I didn’t think I’d find a man who would accept me. I also couldn’t see myself caring for a toddler or baby without significant help. Although, I admitted wryly, I didn’t think many mothers received adequate help in the early years. Now, I have four companions to possibly assist me with that burden, but I didn’t blame them for feeling as weighted by the pressure as I was.

When I wake the next morning, I hope to find Kodi solid again, but I’m alone. He’d left in the middle of the night. Because of it, I’m not in the best mood at breakfast and the day progresses like it ended the day before.

I’d thought my brain was full, but there was always more to learn. The majority of what Gilly teaches me today is learning how our patrons cheat the system. She also tells me what to expect from the non-Apocrypha customers. Because the library isn’t just associated with the academy, community members who apply for access are usually granted a pass. They might be influential supernaturals or alumni – often they were one and the same – and I’m again unsurprised to discover that the benefits of wealth and privilege are similar to those of the magicless. Important patrons can also request special hours to visit the library privately, and I’m dreading those instances. Thankfully, Gilly assures me those requests wouldn’t be granted until we’d been open for several weeks.

The goblin also teaches me more about Apocrypha and I’m introduced to a catalog of professors by name and picture. When I show signs of sadness about not being able to attend classes, Gilly reminds me that everything I want to learn is available here. It’s not the same as a classroom experience, but perhaps it’s for the best. I don’t have fond memories of the one time I tried to attend in-person classes.

The university boasts a myriad of subjects – alchemy, shifter biology, botany, supernatural history, and everything a magicless higher education might offer. The professors have already submitted their required reading lists for the term and a few of the texts are only available here. A select few on that list can’t be removed from library property, and I’m informed of the study rooms available for students. It’s Bren’s job to ensure that the shared rooms are being utilized properly; they’re also heavily secured to prevent anyone from copying the books.

I’m surprised when I learn that the library magically disables all mobile phones’ abilities to record or transmit images or sounds. Some of the orphans, as destitute as they were, occasionally managed to procure a phone. It’s likely that they were stolen, but I’ve never owned one. Rhett had a cell phone the first day, but I haven’t seen it since Addington visited. Bren and Avery don’t seem to have one despite it seeming as if every magicless human owns one. I wonder if they’re as prevalent in the supernatural world.

Finally, the end of the day before we’re scheduled to open arrives. Duggar and Gilly gather the five of us in the main area for an encouraging pep talk.

“You’re ready,” Gilly informs us with a motherly smile after she recounts the most important rules for the billionth time. “Even so, don’t worry if you begin to struggle. If the library senses that you’re overwhelmed, she won’t admit more patrons until you’ve managed the current ones.”

Duggar clears his throat meaningfully and his black eyes turn serious. The smooth orbs don’t exactly convey emotions, but I’ve learned how to interpret the way they reflect the light in combination with their facial expressions. I’ve grown fond of the goblins since I entered the library, and I wonder if they feel the same.

“Perhaps the most difficult but important aspect of the job is regulating the library’s – Sage’s – temper.” The goblins and guardians alike have adopted my nickname for the library. It suits her and she appears to enjoy it which makes me wonder whether she’s ever been named before. I can’t believe that none of my predecessors bothered giving her one. “Sage has a fondness for our librarian and she’s feeling especially protective. If anyone insults Zosia, she might take offense. It’s very important that you four as guardians attempt to prevent anyone from doing so to avoid any outbursts. If prevention isn’t possible, then use the de-escalation techniques I taught you.”

My face heats with pleasure at the same time as my nose scrunches with disbelief. “It’s going to happen at least once and probably more than that. Most of our patrons are rich, entitled, and powerful. Perhaps I’m prejudiced, but people like that always gave me the hardest time and said the most horrible things when I lived with the magicless humans.”

Avery, who is standing just behind me, gently reaches for my shoulder and offers a comforting squeeze. He prefers to stand near to me even when everyone else is sitting and he seems to know where I am at all times. His surprising and unerring accuracy makes me wonder if his awareness of my body’s location has improved since he bit me.

In the past two days, I’ve grappled with my worry that my guardians want nothing to do with me; the vampire is the only exception. Kodi spends the majority of his time deep in thought, and the brothers seem more distant than they were when they first arrived. Avery seems to sense when I need some reassurance and he always seems to offer a smile or a touch at the perfect time. I’ve grown used to his affectionate gestures.

Garrett’s gaze follows the vampire’s hand and his jaw stiffens. Seeing it, I decide to talk to them during supper. I can’t bear for my uncertainty to continue during the opening of the library. We’ll be busy with work soon, but we need to learn how to balance work and home. I can’t continue a powerful lineage with guardians who avoid me or fight amongst themselves. Furthermore, Gilly constantly reminds me that I need to strengthen our bonds so I can endow them with the full power and trust of the library.

“You might be prejudiced, but you’re also right. Speaking from personal experience, the wealthy students will be the worst offenders,” Garrett says in a gruff voice. “Before we came to the library, we got the chance to meet some of Apocrypha’s finest. They will try their damnedest to cut you down or make you feel like shit. One of us will always be near you, but not everyone will be obvious about it. The supernatural society’s darlings have been taught the sneakiest manipulation tactics and subterfuge. They’re more likely to plan in secret and talk behind your back.”

“That’s when I reveal myself and scare the shit out of them,” Kodi crows with gleeful anticipation.

Garrett’s warning makes dread pool in my stomach, but I still manage a smile at the ghost’s excitement. I don’t worry that Kodi hates me; he just has a lot on his mind. His attitude seems to have improved since we discussed the possibility of him being corporeal and what he needs to accomplish to achieve that end. The job also seems to provide a purpose – something he desperately needs.

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