Page 33 of Saving Destiny

Avery leans into me, and I'm surprised that I feel no need to shrink away. His nearness doesn't bother me like it might have a day ago. He feels more familiar now, as if my blood in his veins makes him less of a stranger. “I follow your lead in this as in all things,mon trésor.”

His lips find mine without difficulty. The kiss is brief and chaste but still tender and comforting. My newfound knowledge translates the French endearment tomy treasure. The men seem to enjoy inventing nicknames for me. It's not as annoying as I thought it was at first, but that might be because I'm used to Kodi's pet names.

When Avery pulls back, my mind immediately starts contemplating the day. Should I change my clothes? The shifter might be able to smell my orgasm on me, which is kind of gross and hot all at once. I worry about angering him, though. Garrett is already struggling with the idea that I might eventually take all of them to my bed. It shouldn't matter if he doesn't want me, though, and I can't decide whether he’s just being an ass or if there’s something more behind his irritation.

“Thank you,” Avery murmurs as he releases my hands and slides his chair backward.

“Tell me next time before you start starving,” I scold him. “I’m here for you.”And now that I know what to expect, I’ll offer myself up gladly, I add silently.

"I will," the vampire promises with a sweet smile, and I marvel that there's no trace of his fangs. They'd seemed so prominent minutes ago. After a slight pause, his gaze turns serious. “I will go out first and make certain the shifter acts rationally. Alphas aren’t accustomed to sharing, but he doesn't have the right to push his anger onto you. It will take some time for him to unlearn these coping mechanisms and behaviors, however. He was nurtured into them by an asshole.”

Although Avery’s explanation makes perfect sense in a psycho-analytic manner, the idea of the shifter's anger is more irritating than the reasons behind it. “Garrett is free to act as he pleases. He might have signed a contract, but we’re not married. If he needs a woman, we can make arrangements for one to come here.” Every word feels like a tooth being pulled from my mouth. I don't want Garrett to desire or be with another woman.

I reach for my crutches with jerky movements, but Avery halts me with a gentle touch on my arm. “He may act like a savage and have difficulty expressing his emotions, but the shifter doesn't want any other woman but you. That won't change.” The library doesn't refute his claim, but I don't think it counts because it's not his opinion. When he pauses with his lips parted, I sense that he wants to ask or say something difficult. I don't know if I have the answers, but I offer him the same patience he offered me before he fed.

“You told me not to fear speaking around you, so I want you to feel the same. What’s on your mind?”

“Have you forgiven the brothers? For Addington's crimes?”

My hand drops away from my crutches as I sit back heavily and sigh. “It’s not their fault, so I never considered them accountable. I can’t blame them for being born as Addington's children any more than I can blame Kodi for his father. Garrett bears a resemblance to his father, though. I saw it when I emerged from my memories, but it's starting to fade as I get to know him. It's lucky he's not a wolf shifter, though. If he were, I might not be able to ignore their similarities.” I wince as I think of Kodi being torn apart by savage teeth. Yes, it's very good he isn't a wolf.

Avery’s expression is thoughtful as he nods. “Ah. I didn't consider this because I could not see their faces. For what it’s worth, their personalities are as different as night and day. I’ve had the displeasure of meeting Addington on more than one occasion when Dighit needed to speak with Walthers. Considering the insight we’ve recently gained, I wonder if Addington arranged those meetings so he could check up on his creation.”

My hands clench tightly. I abhor the possibility that Avery was created as an experiment, and I want to deny the story we've pieced together. If our hunches are correct, all of my guardians were affected by Addington’s and Walthers’ revolting crimes.

Viewed in its entirety, the tale suggests that their presence here isn't coincidental. Did an aspect of their unique natures lead them to the library and me? I’ve never believed in fate or destiny before my introduction to the library, but Bren’s visions suggest that some events are inevitable. In addition, some of Sage's words have indicated that my guardians’ identities and arrival might have been pre-ordained.

“How dare they toy with innocent lives? It's not right." The words slip from my mouth without permission again, but Avery isn't surprised by my anger. His elegant fingers gently unravel my taut fists.

“Your fury is understandable, especially given what they did to you. My anger isn’t as fierce, but I didn’t suffer as horribly as you did. At my most charitable moments, I’m marginally grateful for their interference. If events hadn’t conspired as they did, would the present be the same or different? What if I’d never met you or joined the library’s fight against their crimes? I understand that no one can provide these answers, not even our farseeing mage, but I still consider the possibilities.”

He bestows one last kiss on my knuckles before standing and leaving our shared living space. I remain frozen as his words play through my mind for several minutes. If I were given a choice, would I choose to suffer through my childhood again? What if it was the only sure path to this moment in time and space? The library is a sanctuary of beauty, magic, and power; it provides me with everything I’ve ever wanted ... but isn't it also my birthright? If so, it stands to reason that an easier route tonowexists. While the cliché might be partially correct – my struggles did make me stronger – I still question whether they were an absolute necessity. Accepting that a child must be tortured and physically maimed to achieve their destiny is challenging and provides a bleak view of existence. I finally conclude that I understand Avery’s sentiment, but I don’t want to feel a single spark of gratefulness. Therefore, I can't agree.

When I realize that the afterglow of my orgasm has entirely disappeared, I sigh with disappointment. It's tempting to hide in my room all day, but I have an extensive list of duties to perform. My spirits lift when I decide to face my daunting obligations as a sphinx. Although I'm not separate from my beast, it’s easier to accept the world and its mysteries when I take the form of a magical creature. My beast form makes me feel mentally and physically stronger. The increased confidence might be an illusion, but I’ve felt weak most of my life. An illusion is better than nothing.

Chapter 20

Bren

Unlike my brother, I don't doubt that our woman is safe in the vampire’s capable grasp. Recalling Avery’s tender care when he’d fed on me,I think she's probably better than fine.

When my brother grumbles and disappears toward the weight room again, I decide to explore the highest level of the library. The top floor contains most of the arcane texts, but the majority of the library’s patrons don’t know it exists or how to reach it.

It seems like there are more than a thousand steps to the top, but I'm not even winded when I reach the tenth floor. Garrett enjoys throwing his weights around, but I love to run. The most difficult part of climbing is not getting distracted by one of the other floors.

Although it's not available to just anyone, the library's magic keeps the upper-level dust-free. It’s also darker than it should be, considering its proximity to the dome in the center of the roof. The stacks of books are illuminated with mage lamps that won’t damage the precious texts, and the harsh sunlight doesn't breach the balconies surrounding the open atrium. The light's precision is a wondrous feat of architecture and magic.

Since the library's immaculate neatness is maintained by magic and goblins, there's probably very little need for glass cases or locked books. In case I want to touch an old book, I've tucked a pair of silk gloves into my jeans' back pocket. Some of the texts are rumored to be ancient; the oil on my fingers could be their greatest enemy. They're simply there as a precaution, however. Right now, I just want a peek.

My foot's first tentative touch upon the etched wooden planks of the top floor sends a bolt of magic from my toes to the crown of my head. It isn’t painful, but it's not pleasant either. Runes and spells have been carved into the ancient timber, and they deliver a compulsion that is simultaneously subtle and impossible to ignore. I slip off my expensive but worn sneakers and proceed in my stockinged feet.

Ideally, every floor except for the ground level should have slippers available for the patrons, as is the norm in many Eastern countries. Although the surface is spelled to prevent debris, removing one’s shoes to move silently and neatly offers more respect – unless that patron is my brother. His feet are always sweaty, which makes his socks more disgusting than the soles of his shoes.

I wrestle my attention back to the moment, observing the sight before me with reverence and an attention to detail that few brains can achieve. Every breath from my lungs disturbs still air, and I wonder how much time has passed since the library last allowed access to this level. If the Abrams were absent, she might have denied everyone. Very few people even know of its existence because it isn't visible from the public areas, and it's not listed in any directory. Addington knew.

As if the name conjures them, memories I’ve sought to suppress bubble forth from the deep recesses of my mind. I didn’t speak a single word until I was nearly five years old; Addington declared me witless and ignorant until then. Most of the time, he didn’t notice my presence, but he spoke freely around me at other times. I wandered from shadow to shadow in the cavernous expanse of our cold mansion, seeing and hearing everything.

Even before I said a single word, I knew the library held special importance. Addington firmly believes that nothing is more intelligent or more powerful than himself – except for this building and the knowledge it houses. When he spoke of the secrets hidden within these walls, my younger self heard unfamiliar fear and reverence in his voice. Addington isn’t a religious man; he worships nothing, respects no authorities, and doesn't consider anyone friends or family. Other individuals are subordinates, tools, or weapons. While he thought of the library as a tool and a weapon, the alpha shifter wasn't convinced he could control its power. For this reason alone, I’ve always considered the library my ultimate sanctuary. It was the one place I could go to be free of him.

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