Page 26 of Saving Destiny

I might not be, but my beast seems wired that way, especially where the sphinx is concerned. I look away first because I can’t bear his judgment or hope. Instead, I rise to stretch and decide to change the subject. “What’s next, Bren? How do we fight Walthers and Addington while also protecting the library and not leaving it?”

My brother wanders over to the impressive selection of free weights and selects a random barbell for a few bicep curls. His undisciplined approach to working is the direct opposite of my insatiable need for control, but he manages to maintain a lean physique with superior genetics, running, and swimming. The gym includes treadmills, but I don’t know if he’ll accept that in lieu of running outside. He doesn’t need to work out because his nervous energy burns fat even when he’s standing still.

I break my own routine to follow him because I need answers. I can’t erase Walthers’ ugly mug from my memory. His expression had been bitter and condescending while he’d watched my griffin outside his window. It reminded me too much of Addington; they both acted as if they ruled the world.

I hadn’t been able to see the leash that drained Kodi, but I’d noted a shimmer of magic around the ghost’s neck and how he’d responded. Despite being confronted by my deadly griffin and Avery’s predatory vampire, Walthers had remained defiant until we’d threatened to destroy the source of the leash. He’d seemed more worried about the strange electronic device than bodily harm. Was the punishment for the device’s destruction worse than dying? If so, his boss is powerful and dangerous. We’ve been assuming the kingpin is Addington, but it’s entirely possible that someone else is pulling the strings.

As a dominant shifter, I rely on brute strength and an alpha nature. Neither of those traits deterred Walthers, though. If I’d killed him, it might not have broken the leash, which was the ultimate concern. Typically, magic ceases when the wielder is removed from the equation. Avery makes a suitable ally, but he struggles with the details, and I’m uncertain whether he can see inorganic weapons. It would be the difference between life and death in a fight.

“Morgan Wootten said, ‘You learn more from losing than winning. You learn how to keep going.’” Bren’s words recapture my attention. “We take care of the library, protect Zosia, earn her trust, and wait for the next ball to drop. Thomas Carlyle said, ‘Endurance is patience concentrated.’”

That’s two quotes in one lecture. I don’t recognize the names belonging to the majority of the people he quotes, but I’ve gotten used to hearing them. How he learns and memorizes all of them is a mystery to me; maybe he has a repository of quotes in his brain like Zosia has books. It isn’t Bren’s fault that I’m impatient and despise not having a plan. These are my issues. I pump a few reps on a dumbbell to calm the resurgence of my stress.

“Is your beast complaining about the situation with his mate?”

Bren’s unexpected directness almost surprises me into dropping the weight. I thought we’d already closed this subject.

“Of course he is,” I grunt. “He’s an alpha, which means he's unaccustomed to sharing and being dominated.” I set down the weight while I consider the matter. “But he was also extremely irritated when Kodi was in danger. He sees the ghost as part of his mate. In time, I hope he’ll feel the same way with you and Avery since that seems to be where this is going.”

I swipe the towel over my face and plop onto the nearest bench. My muscles are screaming, but I love the sensation. When I push my body to its breaking point, I feel powerful … I feel alive.

“What if she doesn’t want us?” The question betrays my inner vulnerability, but it’s just Bren. He knows my weaknesses, and I don’t hide things from him, but I’ve never felt this insecure before.

When Bren doesn’t say anything, I glance up to see him frowning. The worry in his expression provides an answer without words. He’s seen this possibility and it’s not ideal. “We need the library’s complete trust. Zosia doesn’t need to make us mates for life, but she has to accept us the same way she accepts Kodi. You need to represent the library and act as a counterpoint to Addington and Walthers on the OSC. I have to ….” He doesn’t finish the sentence; he can’t reveal what I want to know. He’s already quoted a thousand dead idiots, but I’m sure he has two thousand more waiting in the wings. All of them deliver the same message in different ways – knowing the future can change it.

“She has to accept us,” he repeats.

I contemplate the importance of what he doesn’t say. What does Bren have to do to connect to the library and be accepted? Will it hurt him? A bond started forming immediately after I signed the guardian contract, but my intuition insists that the connection can grow exponentially.

My mind shies away from the possibilities. I’ve never desired power for the sake of power like Addington. For me, gaining power is a way to prove him wrong. He’s always claimed that powerful men can bend the rules and manipulate morality. Even as an ignorant child, I didn’t agree with him.

The library possesses immeasurable power. It's ancient and unlike anything I’ve ever encountered. It commands the potency of legends and fiction but also exhibits a foreign edge that seems mysterious and infinite. If I connect with it and carry its blessing, I can accomplish great deeds. The desire to help others and perform morally conscious acts brings a measure of greed and desire that feels unfamiliar. For the first time in my life, I want more than just vengeance.

“Go shower. You stink.” Bren’s abrupt command jolts me from my thoughts. He’s almost at the door, but he casts words over his shoulder before he leaves. “I slept with the name last night, and I like it. Let’s tell the others this morning.”

“You slept with it, eh?” I tease him with a snort, but he’s already gone. Sometimes, Bren is a genius. Other times, he puts words together in a way that makes no sense.

I remain in the empty, echoing room and think. The need to protect him, the other humans and creatures that live here, and the building itself overwhelms me for a long minute before yesterday’s discussion creeps in. Bren’s unstable magic could stem from Addington’s interference while he was still in his mother's womb. The experiments might also be the reason for his struggles with the social traits most of us take for granted, Avery’s blindness, and my learning disability.

It’s subjective, but I believe I got off easy. The scenario explains why Addington treated me like a pet project instead of a son, but it also makes him more of a jerk for several reasons. He hated Bren's so-called failings, but they were his doing, not Bren's.

According to Zo’s memories, Kodi possessed twisted magic that acted as a weapon against shifters. They made him do horrible things when he was just a kid. Addington tried to play God, and I’m unsurprised by the revelation. I need to put an end to it, though. How many other children or adults have suffered … or are currently suffering? My teeth grind together as I mentally renew my vow to stop him.

Although it’s tempting to stay in the gym forever, Bren’s right. I need a shower. Considering the world might be at stake, I also need to be bold and push out of my comfort zone. I have a suggestion for Zosia that will place both of us into uncharted territory.

When I reach the exit, I turn back to the room. Taking in the view, I bow as if I’m greeting royalty. “Thank you.” My words emerge as a quiet whisper, but I’m confident that the library hears them. It feels idiotic to talk to a building, but I can’t leave without expressing my gratitude.

The fitness room and everything within it will help me maintain my sanity and keep me patient while three other men court my mate. For me, exercise is as crucial as food and water. It could be argued that this is as much a character flaw as Bren’s lack of social cues. I’m obsessed with strengthening my body, and I rarely indulge in anything that might affect that strength. I wouldn’t know who I am without this drive, though. We are who we are – flaws and all.

Chapter 16

Zosia

After I splash some cold water on my face, I feel more prepared for the day despite my lack of sleep. When I crutch into the dining room, I note all four of my guardians present. Warmth spreads through my chest at the sight. Yesterday wasn’t easy, but no one ran away screaming. I consider it a victory.

I pause briefly by the couch to take in the scene because thinking and walking at the same time is more difficult before I have my morning coffee. Bren isn’t bouncing with happiness like yesterday morning, but he’s also not as upset as yesterday afternoon. Shadows darken his celadon eyes to a color more reminiscent of jade.

Kodi scowls at the game console and stacks of games as if he can will himself into solidity; perhaps he can. He didn’t have a typical childhood, and I bet he’s never experienced the fun of mashing buttons, talking to NPC's, and completing quests.

---