Page 24 of Saving Destiny

“Zo?” The syllable makes his chest vibrate under my hand. The increased depth startles me, but I don’t pull away. The vivid greenish-blue of his eyes captivates me, reminding me how much I’d loved the color when we were both imprisoned underground. He’d been my sky … and he’d died before he'd escaped. He’d died for me.

Abruptly, his form shimmers and disappears. The process is so quick that I don’t register the change until it’s complete. Seconds ago, his skin felt warm and solid; now, it’s wispy. Static pricks my fingertips, and I pull my hand away.

“It happened again, didn’t it?” His frown is identical to mine.

I immediately mourn the loss of … everything: the timbre in his voice, the color of his hair, eyes, and skin, the steady rise and fall of his chest, the warmth of his body. I flop clumsily onto my back and stare at the ceiling to hide the shimmer of my tears.

“Yes. You were solid again. I even kissed your face twice. You changed back without any warning.”

Kodi grumbles a curse. “Is it because of the strange half-sleep state? I’ve never done that before I came here.”

He doesn’t expect me to know the answers, but I answer anyway. “You were unconscious yesterday, which is basically sleep, but you weren’t solid then. The stupid leash and your lack of energy might have interfered, though.”

“Maybe it’s because you're touching me?”

I shake my head and resume my earlier position as curiosity and ideas overtake the sadness and longing. “I wasn’t touching you when I woke up to see you solid, and you changed back with my hand on your chest. What were you thinking about when you started gaining awareness? Did it feel like waking up? Did you feel different physically or think anything in particular?”

“No. It was the same as last time. It feels like I’m nothing and nowhere, which isn’t how I remember sleep being. Then, I feel the pressure and heat of your touch for just a second. The sensation is pleasurable but unfamiliar, and I start to wonder if I’m just dreaming. That’s when I turn back to this.” He gestures at his incorporeal form with a scowl. His static energy is more volatile than usual, and I slide away from him when it starts pricking my skin. It feels like a hundred blunt needles are poking me all at once – death by toothpick.

My knuckles tighten on my blankets. “I’ll figure it out, Kodi. There has to be a reason. I learned yesterday that I could access every book in the library. It’s like they’re stored inside my brain. I’ll find out what’s happening.” The determination in my voice softens with my next words. “I’m sorry. This must be extremely frustrating for you.”

Surprisingly, he shrugs in response. “Yes and no. I had my chance, Zo. You might be an all-powerful sphinx, but you said it yourself – nothing will bring me back to life. I need to accept that. These little blips are just glitches in the matrix.” His crooked grin, touched with sadness, draws a similar one from me.

Mary hadn’t realized that my school laptop could stream movies. Kodi saw bits of this one through a window once and begged me to pirate a version. The caretaker would never have allowed us to play it on movie night. She said science fiction was sacrilege, but it was just an excuse. The true reason behind the focus on animated kids’ movies was so she didn’t have to endure the younger kids’ questions or nightmares.

Kodi and I watched the entire trilogy several times in my small bedroom. We turned the sound down all the way for secrecy and toggled the closed-captioning, but my supernatural hearing helped.

After the first movie, we’d joked about being in the Matrix. The lead actor waited until after the release of the third movie to reveal his status as a vampire, but Kodi and I suspected it all along. He moved with supernatural speed and possessed supernatural beauty. The producers spent extra money on indoor sets to avoid the sun but saved money on special effects because the actor could actually dodge bullets. I’d confessed to my first celebrity crush, and Kodi had jokingly questioned his sexual orientation because he couldn’t blame me for being smitten.

“If it is a glitch, maybe we can rewrite your code,” I reply with more happiness than I feel. I don’t lack determination, but Kodi’s right. Even with magic, some rules can’t be broken and some doors remain closed. I’ve only sampled the many resources that the library boasts, but spirits and ghosts have always been mysterious for a reason – they’re too elusive to study with any thoroughness.

Kodi smiles softly. “If anyone or anything could rewrite the way the world works, it would be the library and her chosen ones.” His expression is thoughtful, but he immediately shakes his head as if erasing a fantasy. “Right now, though, you have other things to worry about. The library officially opens its doors in three days.”

His reminder hits me like a physical blow to the chest. Soon, the wealthy, elite students will enter the library. About half of our visitors will arrive to gawk at the library and me with no intentions of checking out books, and I’ll become the trending rumor on campus. I have two full days to prepare myself.

I square my shoulders with false bravado as I start to untangle my legs from the sheets. “Maybe I’ll meet them in my sphinx form,” I tell Kodi with a feral smile.

“I never had the chance to tell you how beautiful you were yesterday,” he murmurs. “I told you you’d be badass, didn’t I? Have you tried to fly yet?”

Although heat blooms in my cheeks at his compliment, I push it away. “Not yet. I should practice today.” Testing out my wings isn’t something I want to attempt in front of an unknown audience. My mind flinches away from the imagined laughter and ridicule.

“I imagine it will be a little like … brushing your teeth. Your body will know what to do.”

“Brushing my teeth?” I raise an eyebrow in Kodi’s direction as I comb through the knots in my hair. I didn’t have the energy to braid it before I fell asleep. The ghost has moved to hover in front of me, but he suddenly looks like he wants to disappear.

“Well, the usual metaphor is riding a bike, but you’ve never done that. Neither have I. Then, I was going to say like walking, but that’s just mean and ignorant. Brushing your teeth was the only thing I could come up with.” If ghosts could blush, Kodi might. He sounds so embarrassed that I laugh instead of focusing on the normal things I can’t do.

“I may not have used them yesterday, but my wings felt strong. I think I'll have a couple false starts, but I hope it ends up like brushing my teeth – an effortless task.” My lips twitch as I tease him. I can’t remember the last time I felt confident, and it fills me with newfound hope.

Kodi drifts out of my room, but I make him promise once more that he’s here to stay before he flees. Reassuring the ghost that I need him here is more important than figuring out how to make his body appear. My newfound hope also brings optimism, though, and it’s a foreign state of mind.

Maybe the pieces of my life are falling into place: I’m where I belong with support and friends, I have a connection to my past, I’m safe and secure. With my basic needs met, it’s easier to focus on personal development. Here, I can become who I’m meant to be.

I flinch as I finish getting ready. In the books I’ve read, this is the point where the plot twist enters. I might regret my new attitude, but I’ll hold onto it as long as I can.

Chapter 15

Garrett

---