Page 19 of Saving Destiny

I take a deep breath as I consider where to start. “It seems like nothing when I consider the massive amount of information I sifted through.” I take bites between words because I’m hungrier than usual. My body and mind underwent a lot of stress today, but Garrett’s food is also amazing. I don’t know which factor contributes more to my appetite, but I attempt to maintain my manners while I explain. The men might like me now, but that could change if I eat with food falling out of my mouth.

“I found less information on the combination of advanced technology and magic than I wanted, but I learned they’re not in direct opposition. In fact, they might be more compatible than anyone realizes. The current doctrine exists because the magicless invented most high-tech electronics; they consider it their form of magic. While they’re not entirely mistaken, it’s just another divisive tool. In my opinion, the magicless and magical communities should cooperate more, especially in this arena. Certain mages resonate at the same frequency as some modern electronics and new inventions could benefit both races. A simple summary is that both magic and advanced technology rely on the generation and expulsion of energy – particularly for mages. Shifter magic operates differently, and it makes me wonder if that’s the reason Addington chose shifters as his primary subjects.”

I don’t believe I meant to add the last part, but I can’t take it back. I made the connection as I spoke, and it slipped out. Reducing what I’d learned into a concise recap was more difficult than I’d thought it would be.

To avoid the conversation veering toward test subjects and my past, I continue babbling. “Most of the books I studied were historical. Almost all of the authors were biased toward either the magicless or the supernaturals, depending on their identity. Very few intersectional studies exist, so I had to compile the information and form my own theories.”

I stare toward the middle of the table as I talk, avoiding their eyes. I don’t want to see judgment on their faces. I’ve never been a scientist and I know little about magic. They might find my conclusions unintelligent and ignorant, but I still feel compelled to tell them.

“Garrett said there was a computer tablet on Walthers’ desk, and the magic leashing Kodi disappeared after he touched something on the tablet. My theory, although I didn't see it, is that the tablet acted as a conduit. Most mages don't need conduits, but I’ve heard that young mages in training use wands or staffs to help them focus. The tablet could have gathered the energy from the mage and ... changed it somehow? It might have altered its wavelength or frequency before transmitting. It’s also possible that it’s not a conduit but a battery. Perhaps it’s simply meant to store the magic instead of converting it.”

“The device was strange,” Garrett ponders aloud. I risk refocusing on him, but the shifter appears lost in memory as he recalls the image. “It didn’t resemble anything currently on the market, but it had the same components – a screen and a power source. It was plugged into the wall outlet through a typical USB port. When we threatened him, the vamp-mage clearly swiped and pushed buttons as if it were any other smartphone or computer tablet.”

“The most concerning aspect is its ability to trap Kodi from a distance. The strange leash I keep referring to didn’t look similar to the trail of magic that connects all of us to the library through our signed contracts.”The trail of magic that connects them to me,I add silently.

“You mentioned you could see it clearly,” Avery comments, “but I didn’t see anything until I was in the office with Walthers. Even then, it looked strange. My strange sight permits me to see magical energy, which is why I can see auras and determine emotions to a point. I can also see organic energy – anything still alive or retained from life. It isn’t the same with electronic energy. I have difficulty sensing that. In many cases, I can't." Avery’s tone darkens as if he’s uncomfortable admitting his shortcomings. It makes me realize that I’m not the only one who fears being judged.

“I’ve considered several theories about how Walthers trapped Kodi from a distance,” the vampire continues. “One might be because of his previous tether. The other reason might be attributed to Kodi’s spiritual energy or ghostly essence. I know next to nothing about his unique makeup, and it’s a mystery to most of the supernatural community.”

I hum with acknowledgment. “You’re right about that. I attempted to research spirits and ghosts, but the library has very little in the way of scientific data. I believe Kodi’s presence is more uncommon than we guessed. As far as this being the second time, it’s true that magic leaves a residue behind. The tether I removed from Kodi’s neck was pure magic; there was nothing electronic or even tangible in its makeup. Perhaps it left a signature that allowed Walters to latch onto him more easily. If this is true, it’s doubly important to keep him in the library.” My frown matches Avery’s and I lower my tone, even though Kodi shouldn’t be able to hear us if he’s still hiding in his room; the soundproofing works both ways.

Inwardly, I scold myself for the hundredth time. If the first tether made the second possible, this entire situation is my fault.

Garrett rubs his palm over his shorn hair and sits back with such force that I'm surprised the chair doesn't fly backward. His weight must keep it stationary, even with wheels. “There’s so much I don’t understand, and I have so many questions,” he admits with a sigh of frustration. “Perhaps the first question is how you managed to free Kodi from the initial tether if it was intangible and pure magic. I’ve heard of these tethers, and they’re supposedly impossible to break or remove.”

I shrug. “That’s a question I can’t really answer because I don’t have a clue. I think Kodi’s ability to move through matter helped. Although the tether wasn't necessarily substantial, it’s still composed of matter. Everything is, right? Mostly, I think I just used loads of willpower.”

When Garrett stares blankly at me in disbelief, I shrug again and throw up my hands in apology. “I can’t offer a better explanation. I wanted it off of him, so I made it happen.”A ton of willpower and an equal amount of guilt,I again add silently. These men might be beholden to me, but they don’t need to know the pathetic nature of my internal thoughts.

“Sounds like magic,” Bren quips. “’Magic lies in challenging what seems impossible,’ Carol Moseley Braun once said.” I have no idea who that is, but Bren continues as if it doesn’t matter. Maybe it doesn’t. “In essence, magic is just energy combined with intention and the skill to make it happen. Sphinxes are the only shift-kinds that are considered mages as well, albeit not specialized ones.”

Bren’s revelation surprises me. I’ve never considered myself a mage. While I contemplate the new discovery, Garrett asks Avery questions about how his sight works before offering a brief but informative summary of the OSC and their role in the supernatural community. He shocks me out of my thoughts when he tells us the next quarterly meeting should be soon. Will the library’s representative be required to attend? I don’t like the idea of my guardians leaving the library after today’s nearly catastrophic events.

The library’s unique magic helps clear the remnants of dinner, which is something all of us appreciate. Garrett readily admits that his aspirations of being a chef don’t extend to housekeeping duties, and Bren says that he’s too unreliable. His brother substantiates this claim by relaying humorous stories of the many times their servants extinguished fires or disposed of rotting or burning food because of Bren’s absent-minded forgetfulness. Avery and I both say we don’t mind cleaning, but it’s difficult for us in different ways. I can’t carry much, and most household objects aren’t visible to the vampire. All of us realize we’re creating clever excuses, but the library’s response seems amused rather than irritated.

Conversation flows and relaxed camaraderie connects us, but Kodi’s absence superimposes a dark shadow over the entire night. I keep expecting his sarcastic comments to interrupt. More than once, I bite my tongue to restrain a juvenile joke that Kodi would have appreciated; I’m uncertain whether the others would consider me immature or amusing.

When the discussion surrounding important topics begins to dwindle, the men propose a movie. I decline by offering the easy excuse of being exhausted, but it’s not the entire truth. I miss Kodi and I want him to join us – especially if we watch a movie. They’re one of the only forms of entertainment he can enjoy in his ghostly form, and he loved movie night at the orphanage. I’d often preferred to read a book instead, but now I regret not spending that time with him.

When I tell the other men goodnight, it only feels a little awkward. Their gazes linger on me, each one of them wondering whether I’m okay. I’m relieved they don’t ask the question aloud because I don’t know how to answer without lying.

Still, I don’t relax until my bedroom door shuts behind me. Alone and protected by the room’s special soundproofing abilities, I release a heavy sigh. I enjoy how our new arrangements facilitate the getting-to-know-each-other phase, but my natural tendency toward introversion and the pervasive sexual tension is stressful over long periods.

Unable to sleep just yet, I decide to indulge in a lengthy bubble bath with the fragrant, luxurious soaps and oils the library provides. Once I’m clean and smelling a little like the perfume aisle of a department store, I lie in my huge bed and stare at the ceiling.

Checking in on each of my guardians requires very little effort. They didn’t decide to watch a movie without me because they are each in their own rooms. I resist the urge to contemplate the many things they could be doing. Instead, I tell myself that Bren and Avery are probably reading while Garrett engages in a thousand push-ups or another exercise that doesn’t require equipment. Kodi’s soft light feels wispy and muted, as if he’s only half here. If I let myself dwell on that thought, I’ll start crying again.

Broadening my perception, I realize that the remainder of the library seems to be sleeping, too. I can’t sense the goblins, and I begin to form theories on their daily activities. I suppose they have affairs of their own and can’t babysit me every second, but I’m used to their frequent visits. It’s stranger when they’re not constantly popping in and out.

The huge bed makes me feel small and alone. I even contemplate shifting into my sphinx form, but it feels excessive and indulgent. I’d also shed fur all over my sheets and quilt. The library can utilize her magical cleaning abilities, but I’m positive more important matters require her attention.

I groan with frustration and toss and turn in my bed when I realize my inability to fall asleep is directly tied to Kodi’s absence. I’m used to the ghost watching over me at night.

Although I feel safer here than I did at the orphanage, I’m still lonely. I don’t know any of the others well enough to invite them into my bed. “Just to sleep,” I say aloud when my vivid imagination starts providing sexual scenarios. Our relationships might progress to that point, but I want to feel more comfortable with them first – especially Bren and Garrett. I feel closer to Avery already, but I refuse to invite physical attention from my other guardians while Kodi and I remain at odds. He’s been my friend for as long as I can remember. He’s also my first love. I would feel like I was cheating or betraying him if I sought a relationship with my other guardians before I mended ours. At the very least, it would cause negative energy.

Although I manage to prevent a breakdown, several tears escape my eyes and slip down my cheeks. I thought I’d saved him, but what if I’d only caused more problems? We’re both stubborn, but I won’t be able to function if he continues to avoid me, and the library opens soon.

I need to get my act together. I repeat the decision I made earlier that day. If morning comes and he’s still giving me the silent treatment, I’ll confront him.

---