Page 14 of Saving Destiny

My hands twitch with the desire to comfort Avery, but I can't reach him. Instead, I fidget with the ends of my braid while he paces. He’d recited his rather dramatic history in a flat tone, as if speaking of something other than his mother and the events related to his existence and upbringing.

“I don’t believe I inherited any shifter or Fae blood from my mother except aspects of my appearance. Fae assume I’m one of them until they smell me. I believe my mother’s hybrid nature protected me when my mother was bitten, however. If Walthers and Addington were involved, why did they leave me with a master vampire? Walthers’ words gave me the impression that they felt ownership over their supposed creations. It seems unbelievable that they’d relinquish me easily.”

I have no answers for him and it’s clear the brothers don’t either, but I agree with his assessment. Addington and Walthers would have staked their claim if they could.

Avery’s face appears blank when he returns to me. This time, he sets a chair next to my wheelchair and settles into it. I reach for his hand, and he offers it without hesitation. His grip on mine trembles slightly, and I squeeze his hands like Bren did for me earlier. I understand why he’s shaking. None of us experienced anything resembling an idyllic childhood.

“My mother also died shortly after giving birth to me,” Garrett says. “She was an eagle shifter. We’ve all heard rumors about Addington’s illegitimate children, but he’s never claimed any of them. I think they are somehow even more … damaged … than Bren and me.” Garrett’s words trail away, and my grip on Avery’s hands tighten. I don’t think either of them is damaged, but that isn’t the conversation we’re having right now.

The huge man takes a deep breath before continuing. “It wouldn’t surprise me if he experimented on us or our mothers before we were born. I remember the first time I shifted. Addington acted so prideful about it; you’d think it was something he did all on his own. I know I don’t have much to compare it to, but his emotions felt wrong. It wasn’t the kind of pride someone shows for their child. I was just a thing he’d made that had performed properly.” His hands clench into fists and his nostrils flare.

“Bren’s mother is still alive, but she’s – um –.” Garrett glances at his half-brother and doesn’t finish the sentence. The mage is still at the table. He's resting his head on it, his cheek pressed against the surface, and his fingers trace the ancient wood's pattern absently. I don't think I've seen him motionless since he arrived.

“She’s weak,” Bren finishes without raising his head. “She has submitted fully to the alpha and never questions him. Her health and mental stability is questionable. She drinks too much alcohol to cope with the situation or dull her pain. She’s an alcoholic.” He says the words with very little feeling. I’d thought their corrupt father had unintentionally strengthened the brothers’ bond, but it’s more than that. They’d needed each other to survive their childhoods; they’d had no one else.

Belatedly, I realize they are exclusively referring to the alpha by his last name. I believe it started after I’d informed them of the memories that included their father. Occasionally, they pause before saying it as if making a conscious effort to disown him vocally. I prefer hearing the man’s surname instead offather; it's less intimate and distances the brothers from the man who’d ordered my torture. I’d prefer to think they weren’t his offspring at all, but I can't deny the truth.

“Bren’s mother is a mage, but her magic isn’t particularly powerful. She’s wealthy, and her high-ranking father doesn’t care how Addington treats her. None of the women Addington has been with were his fated mates,” Garrett adds after Bren finishes. I don’t know why the point about fated mates is important, but Avery asks a more important question.

“You mentioned Bren’s magic earlier, but I don’t believe you were referring to his foresight. Is there something else?” The vampire is adept at sounding diplomatic and nonjudgmental. He’s always been nothing but kind toward the other three guardians and me. I appreciate his easy-going nature. The other three have issues, and so do I. Is it hard for him to be around us?

The shifter glances toward his brother, but the latter waves his hand as if granting Garrett permission to speak for him. I feel an urge to comfort him again, but I’m worried he won’t accept my touch or words. I don't want to be rejected while the others watch, and I feel more self-conscious with everyone here.

The shifter’s brow furrows. “Bren’s other magic is unpredictable, volatile, and wild. He has little control over it when he feels overwhelmed. It’s mostly elemental in nature, and it's strong enough to topple buildings and sever trees. However, it’s mostly dormant. He’s only had two occasions where it erupted without much warning. Obviously, Addington wanted to use Bren’s farseeing abilities to manipulate people, but he also wanted to use Bren's wild magic as a weapon.”

A shiver of warning courses through my body, and Avery’s hand gives mine a gentle squeeze. I send thanks to the fates, the stars, or the gods that Bren is no longer under that man’s control. It's difficult to believe anyone could be so evil, but my memories revealed that he isn’t the only one.

“I think Kodi was a mage,” I offer in an attempt to take the focus off Bren. “From what I remember, he had magical abilities, but they were unique. I’ve never heard of anything like it. His magic allowed him to control a shifter’s transformation.”

Bren’s head flies up, and his brother echoes the look of shock. Avery’s body is very still beside me.

“That’s impossible,” Garrett splutters. “Mages don’t have that ability; they can’t. Even an alpha has difficulty controlling their pack member’s shifts, and the pack has given them permission and sworn their loyalty.”

I shrug. “I’m only telling you what my memories showed me and what Kodi told me. His father, a cruel man who forced him to do horrible things, ordered Kodi to prevent my shift. Kodi said his power didn’t work on me. Later, he told me it didn’t work on Addington either. When Kodi freed me, the guards appeared paralyzed, and I think most of them were shifters. The collar they put on me was nothing like the tether I took off Kodi a couple days ago. The tether was pure magic, but the collar they put on me had electronic components.” My mouth turns down as I wonder where the collar ended up. In the strange visions that weren't exactly memories, I clearly recalled Kodi rolling it into the sheets with my broken body.

“The collar was metal and needed a key,” I add absently. “After I removed the tether from Kodi’s neck a couple of days ago, it melted into the floor. The library absorbed its power until nothing remained.”

“I guess I didn’t need to return,” a weary but familiar voice says. “You figured most of it out on your own.” My best friend hovers near the door that leads into our private apartments. He doesn’t lift his gaze, leaving his chin tucked against his chest, and he looks similar to how he did when I removed the magical tether. He’s barely there, less substantial than smoke.

“Kodi!” I screech the ghost’s name and release Avery’s hand. My movements are jerky as I propel my wheelchair closer to him. Tears burn behind my eyes, but he still doesn’t lift his head. “Why are you being such a colossal jerk? I already told you that I don’t blame you for anything.” My words are half-sob and half-scream as I waffle between despair and anger.

“You may not blame me, but I blame myself.” His eyes slowly meet mine, and I’m awed and worried at the depth of emotion I see within them. I didn’t think he was capable of accessing sadness, regret, desolation, loneliness, anger, or other negative feelings. He looks utterly miserable. “I will never forgive myself,” he adds in a whisper.

I swipe at the tears spilling down my cheeks. I want to hurt him like he’s hurting me; I want to hold him and save him .... It’s too late for any of these actions.

His gaze turns toward the others, but I don’t turn back around right away. I wait until my face is dry before I maneuver the chair into a position where I can see all of my guardians. I wanted Kodi back, but his return hasn’t healed the strain in my bond because it doesn't seem like he's actually here. His body might be, but his mind and heart are far away.

“I decided to return because you deserve to know everything I know. Knowledge is power, right?” He attempts a cheery tone, but it fails magnificently. “It was a trap to draw me out, which I’m sure you already figured out. My sister is dead; she was nearly dead the last time I saw her. I should have known better, but I fell for it anyway. You probably don’t need what I can tell you, but here it is.” He shrugs. “Walthers isn’t insane, or maybe he is, but his words have some truth behind them. He worked with Addington, and I overheard them talking about injecting the power they stole from other supernaturals into fetuses. Addington specifically mentioned his sons – you and Bren,” he says directly to Garrett. “I don’t know anything about your birth, Avery. I never heard them mention vampires, but vampires aren’t usually fetuses.” He shrugs again.

“I am grateful for any insight,” Avery responds in a genuine tone.

Kodi begins to ghost pace – several feet off the floor – but his movements are heavier and slower than usual. “I don’t think their usual plan involved supernatural babies, though. Both of my parents were magicless and neither had a drop of supernatural blood in their genetics. My father was just an asshole like yours, and he allowed them to test the formula on me when I was still developing. My mother told me she tried to protest, but she couldn’t get away or stop them. She didn’t die during my birth, but whatever they injected me with made her sick. She got pregnant again a couple years later. By this time, she was bedridden and almost died before she delivered the baby. They still injected my sister, but it didn’t work on her the way it did on me. Her body was different, and her brain never matured past a six-year-old’s.” Kodi’s voice is hoarse with remembered emotion.

I grip the wheels of my chair so tightly that the metal bites into my hands, but I ignore the pain. He’s never told me any of this before, but I don’t believe he kept it from me on purpose. He didn’t seem to regain his memories until I regained mine … his afterlife was strangely intertwined with my life even before we came to the library.

“Anyway,” he continues, “I was born with power, but I wasn’t really a mage. The abilities weren’t reliable. Sometimes, it worked too well, paralyzing my targets instead of preventing them from shifting. Sometimes, it didn’t work at all. Walthers likes the sound of his own voice. When he thought he’d tethered me and I couldn’t escape, he blabbed. He told me that they’re still experimenting and that the latest subjects are more successful – whatever that means." He shakes his head.

"I think their primary focus is on injecting humans, though. It’s just a hunch, but I think the goal has always been to turn nonmagical babies into supernatural soldiers that would be easy to control or beholden to them for some reason. Walthers suggested that we were failures because we didn’t bow down to them and follow their orders. They could be creating an army or they might just be trying to even the numbers. The magicless might not have magic, but they’ve always been able to reproduce faster and their numbers have always outnumbered supernaturals.”

---