Page 56 of From Best To Bested

Roman stood silently at the open door in complete confusion by Ezra’s comment, by the day’s events, by what would happen to him soon enough.

Standing on the first floor with his arms wrapped around the bar cells was Levi. Levi pulled out a lighter and sparked a cigarette. It was against the rules, but inmates regularly smoked inside, same as the guards. The bizarre part was seeing Levi with a cigarette at all. He hated them and anything else that reminded him of the addictions he’d put down after being locked up.

Still, Levi took a deep drag and showed he’d watched the conversation unfold, then gave Roman a quiet, empathetic expression. Roman wanted to say something, to apologize for always falling apart in front of Levi, but he didn’t have the strength to form any more words tonight.

Chapter Nineteen

Ezra ignored Roman in the days that followed. He didn’t say a single word inside their shared cell. He didn’t acknowledge Roman’s presence at all. Still, Roman tiptoed around the room, worried one misstep would offend Ezra, and he’d suffer his wrath. Wrath to a rage Roman had seen stirring in him for months.

Roman left the room and went to the library so he could hide and cry and process everything. He sat on the floor in the furthest aisle. It wasn’t his favorite place in the world, but it didn’t get many visitors. When Levi found him, he hid his face with as much shame as he had when Levi caught him with Jake.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Roman wiped away the tears.

“Obvious lie.” Levi stepped closer, cautious and careful. He saw how frail Roman had become, but while he seemed concerned, Roman didn’t see any pity in Levi’s expression.

“Ezra’s mad at me,” Roman said, his throat sore. “I don’t know what I did. I have an idea, but it doesn’t add up.”

“You didn’t do anything. He’s a fucking piece of—”

“No,” Roman protested, so engrained to sweep in and defend Ezra’s nonexistent faults. “I did something, and I have to fix it.”

“No, you don’t.” Levi braced his back on the wall and slid down beside Roman.

“Yes, I do.” Roman swallowed the lump in his throat. It was too awful to say how Ezra was done with him, how he planned to pass him off, how Roman had somehow messed up their arrangement.

“No, you really don’t.”

“You don’t understand, Levi.” Roman thought maybe Levi heard enough of the argument last night, but he clearly hadn’t. “If I don’t fix this, I won’t be safe. You won’t be safe either.”

“I don’t need you to protect me,” Levi said, grabbing ahold of Roman’s hand. “I’m sorry it took me so long to find my strength. I’m sorry you had to surrender so much of yourself to give me that opportunity to get stronger. I’m sorry I distanced myself because it hurt to see you lose yourself piece by piece. I’m sorry for being a terrible friend.”

It’d been so long since Roman had heard genuine sincerity that it left him awestruck. He was baffled, confused, and consumed with guilt that he’d somehow made Levi feel this way.

“I’m the one who needs to apologize—”

“No,” Levi said, voice firm but not angry.

It made Roman shake, but he wasn’t frightened. It was the first time in a long time he’d heard the edge of anger without fearing what it’d result in.

“You will never have to apologize for anything ever again,” Levi said. “I’ll make sure of it.”

Oh, how Roman desperately wished those words were true. There was a certainty in Levi’s expression, in his grip on Roman’s hand, in the soft gaze of his blue eyes. Roman wondered, perhaps fantasized, if Ezra would consider giving Roman to Levi. He could find a way to make this friendship work. He’d learned how to be a good friend, a loyal friend, an obedient friend. He pushed the thought away. Ezra would never agree to something like that because he wanted Roman to suffer.And Levi would never want someone so damaged and worthless, someone who made an enemy out of the champion of the arena.

“I want you to know I’m making a move for power,” Levi said almost casually.

Roman blinked in response, perplexed and like he’d somehow missed an entire conversation.

“I’ve changed,” Levi continued. “I’ve finally learned to be strong, finally started to understand the way things are run here.”

“I’ve seen you fight,” Roman said softly, but he didn’t have the heart to say it wouldn’t be enough, that it wouldn’t change the field here.

“You’ve seen a few, and only what I want people to see.” Levi shot Roman a dark look and a curious smile. “Sometimes, you want people to see your successes; sometimes, you want people to predict your movements, your techniques, and that helps walk them right into a trap.”

Roman didn’t know what to say, didn’t understand the turn of this conversation.

“I will set you free from Ezra, from everyone who’s ever touched you,” Levi said. “You won’t have to serve anyone, you won’t have to make yourself smaller anymore, you won’t have to accept your fate. I will carve a path out of anyone who dims your smile.”

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