Page 30 of The Misfit Mage and His Darling Demon

Fuck me.This place did have different layers, which meant it’d take forever to search. It would’ve been quicker to torch the whole damn villa.

“We’ll be here for weeks,” I said, shoulders slumping.

“Maybe months.” Wally’s hazel eyes twinkled with joy, darting about and soaking in all the gizmos and gadgets of this room.

“I suppose this is an upgrade to our humble abode.”

“What?” Wally asked with a squeak, not of fright or confusion but one meant to hide his enthusiasm.

“It’s far more efficient to make this our home, at least for the time being. It’d require too much mana and time traveling between planes.”

“Can we just take his place?”

“Pillage and plunder.”

“We’re not pirates.”

“Which is a shame, but I’m reminded of my favorite mortal expression that’s kept your world moving forward.” I planted my hands on my hips, puffing my chest and boasting. “To the victor go the spoils, one of the few mortal sentiments I can get behind. And we were victorious. Me mostly, but you had a small, supporting role, I suppose.”

“It would allow me to make the most of my time.” Wally bit his lower lip biting back a dozen side tangents, no doubt.

“Plus, I can finally give our old home the pyre it deserves. I will be burning something down today,” I said with a grin. “It’ll be far easier to torch than clean all the stuff I broke.”

“What?” Wally raised his eyebrows.

I skirted past him, examining the navigation system in search of a basic floorplan. “Where do you think the master bedroom is?”

“Can we rewind that conversation a tad…” Wally looped his fingers round and round.

“I’d like to christen it.” I ignored his befuddled question, using a tail to playfully tickle his chin. “Then again, we should properly lay claim to all the rooms in this massive home.”

“Okay, but what did you trash exactly because some of that stuff was client work, and then there’s my personal collection—”

“What do you say, Walter?” I wrapped a tail around his waist and yanked him close to me. “Shall we introduce your lovely moans of ecstasy to this room? Or would you rather continue asking questions you know I’m not going to answer?”

9

Walter

A week had gone by, and I’d barely gained any understanding of the navigation systems here at the helm of the villa. I’d tried spending time researching in the library or exploring the doorways, which might very well lead to an instructional manual, butsomeoneinsisted I stay here in this room unless otherwise escorted. The samesomeoneonly ever brought me to the kitchen or the bedroom he’d claimed and horribly trashed the artwork he deemed ‘crass’ or ‘tasteless’ among other less polite phrases.

“Any progress?” Speaking of the annoying someone… Bez came strutting into the helm, wet hair sticking to his small horns still exposed, and one of his tails patted down his muscular abs as he fiddled with something on his dress shirt.

Since arriving here, he’d begun absorbing the trace amounts of Mythic residue wafting around the residence, which helped stitch up his host body. We’d planned on getting him a new one, but I didn’t like the idea of killing some poor person and takingtheir body, and Bez’s Diabolic features weren’t a problem so long as the Collective didn’t catch wind. With so much extra magic, it seemed he could repair the tears in his human suit and tuck away those features.

“I don’t like the cleaning supplies here,” he said, picking at lint. “I prefer the ones at our former residence.”

“It’s lint, Bez. It’ll follow you to any plane.”

“Only in the cheap machines. Clearly, that Fae had no respect for his wardrobe. Even I acquired acceptable utilities for us.”

I smiled. I’d refused to pay an extra grand for the washer and dryer unit Bez wanted, and I told him no stealing, so for a solid six weeks, he stalked every Black Friday event across the tri-state area—yes, every store. Every tip. Every possible savings on ‘fallible currency.’ Then he dragged me to some sale two days early, six-hundred miles away, all so we could have a proper unit. Admittedly, they were a great washer and dryer, wonderful on water use, nice on the utilities, and it always made me happy to reminisce about the domestic bliss we shared.

Even if it was short-lived or an illusion. I enjoyed following Bez anywhere and everywhere.

“What?” he asked with a sour expression because gods forbid he endure the travesty of lint, which he wouldn’t have to deal with if he changed the filter. “Have you made any progress on pinpointing the Diabolics?”

“Nope. I’d make more progress if you’d let me explore some.”

---