Page 54 of Dodge

Dewey stood just outside the doorway that led from the kitchen to the dining area. I called to him first. “Hey, D? Is anyone else still out there?”

He shook his head and acted as if he wanted to melt into the floor. “Only me and Macie. These two got here just as we were leaving and banged on the door until we let them in.”

No customers left. Good deal. Now I could let loose. “Chase, what the fuck are you doing here?”

“Health inspection. You got permits for all this?”

What the fuck?“Of course I do, you idiot. They inspected me at the beginning of the month.” I pointed to the A inspection grade sticker on the wall. “What’s your point? Trying to shut me down?”

Of course he was. Of all the fucked-up shit he’d pulled on me, this was by far the worst. How had I ever dated him?

“A local woman posted that she saw mouse turds on the floor,” he stated as he jerked a drawer open. Part of me felt violated as he poked around the utensils. Another part of me was mad as hell.

“Who?” Outrage filled me.

“I don’t know. I found it on a review website.”

“So you’re trolling for shit about my restaurant now. Real mature, asshole.” I turned to the other man. “And who are you?”

The tubby guy grunted and ran a hand over his bald spot. “I’m a health inspector for the state based out of Asheville. Cormer is the guy for this area, but he’s on vacation. Chase here came to the office this week and kept pushing until my supervisor sent me out here for a surprise inspection.” He shrugged and tapped the iPad in his hand. “I haven’t found anything that’s not up to code. It’s all spit-shine clean. Everything is labeled and in order. No mold, no trash, no bugs, no mice.” He grinned and gave me a weird thumbs-up. “You got it goin’ on, dude.”

“I found it,” Macie announced, his fingers tapping across his phone. “The review. It’s on soundoffaboutit.com. It’s that whacked-out conspiracy site people use to bitch about anything and everything.”

The inspector peered at the screen and knitted his brows together. “Yessiree, those are mouse turds, but that ain’t at the Smoky Mountain Bistro. That’s from theRockyMountain Bistro in Colorado. You got the wrong place, genius.”

“No I didn’t,” Chase sneered. “Go check the storeroom, Mike. I bet that’s where they are.”

“How ’bout you stay where you are.” Dodge had joined the party. He turned to Chase. “You need to get gone and stay gone.”

A big belly whoosh hit me. Not fifteen minutes ago, this man made me come with vaginal penetration only, something that rarely happened in my world, yet I was turned on again big-time by this caveman-protect-my-woman behavior.

Chase saw it, too, and stepped back. I recalled the last time these two met, when Chase had ended up bent over with his arm twisted behind his back. “You’re not in charge of me!”

An image rose in my mind of Chase in a diaper with a rattle in his hand. I bit my lip to keep from laughing. This situation wasn’t particularly funny, but a grown man acting like a toddler was.

“Dude, I’m telling you, there’s nothing here. We’re talking A plus-plus-plus. I’m going home.” Mike turned to me. “Sorry for all trouble.”

Chase spluttered, “You can’t leave now!”

Apparently even this laid-back man had a shenanigans limit. “Watch me, dude. You want a ride back to Asheville, you better come quick. I missed my favorite hot yoga class at the Yoga Spot tonight because of this shit.”

“This isn’t over,” Chase huffed at me.

“Why?” This came from a sardonic Dodge. “Why isn’t it over? You broke up. Fauna moved on. Whatever competition you think this is, it’s done. Build a fucking bridge and get over it.”

I let out a giggle when I heard one of my favorite sayings.

Macie’s reaction beat mine. He burst into big hysterical laughs and made a huge show of it. “Ah! Build a fucking bridge! Oh my Lord! Ah! Dude! I can’t breathe!”

“Go to hell, Macie,” Chase snapped.

“Suck a dick, asshole.” Macie wiped his eyes and kept laughing. “You’re just jealous you got beat by a Black woman.”

Oh yeah, he went there. I wasn’t going to say that part out loud, but that idea had cropped up a time or two in the back of my head. I dated this man at one time and thought I loved him. Now, I believed he used me to get to his own goals.

“That’s got nothing to do with it,” Chase groused. His frantic drive when he first got here had disappeared. “No one will hire me anywhere in Asheville. My reputation is ruined thanks to her.”

“Just go,” I said. Fatigue hit me, and I wanted nothing more than to skip the Lair and go back upstairs to crash across my borrowed bed for the night.

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