Page 90 of Demise

Chapter Twenty Nine

Asher

After a hot as fuck three-way with Skyla and Liam, we all climbed into the shower and got cleaned up for the day. The sex was amazing, and distracted me for a little bit, but the reminder of what tonight will bring has my good spirits falling quickly.

I’m not exactly sure what will happen tonight, maybe that’s what scares me the most. I’ve been hounding Ronan for weeks, and the most he’s ever given me is ‘it’s different for everyone.’ I don’t like the fucking sound of that.

We spend the day at the house, soaking up all the possible time together, mainly because I know once I leave this house, nothing will be the same. Skyla talked on the phone with Vincent for hours, I guess he’s in Europe right now, and he won’t be home for a few weeks. That’s all he would tell her. She tried to fight the tears, but you could tell it was not what she wanted to hear.

She has this connection to Griggs that’s unlike any of our others. Not that it’s more powerful or important, just more unique. When they are together, it’s like a codependency kind of thing. Like they can finally both breathe, like a comfort only theycan provide to each other and my heart hurts that my girl is so broken up.

Ronan was nice enough to make us a late breakfast, and we ordered an early dinner before it was time for me to leave. The others are meeting us at my induction party later tonight at Putnam Manor.

Oh, joy.

Slowly, I move to the car, dressed in a pair of jeans and a dark grey henley. Ronan said that they would have my robes in the tunnels for the induction. When I climb inside the car, my leg is shaking. I can’t help it; needing something to focus on. I bounce my knee over and over again as I stare out the window, keeping the rest of my body rigid and still.

“Hey,” Ronan says, forcing my eyes to him. “It’s gonna be alright. Stay silent, stay obedient and disassociate. It’ll be done, and then it’ll be smooth sailing from there.”

“What was your task?” I ask.

Ronan grimaces as he shakes his head.

“Ronan, please,” I beg. “I’ve got some fucked up shit running through my head right now. At least give me something to mentally prepare myself for.”

He clears his throat, sniffing roughly as he blinks his eyes shut. When he opens them, a blank mask is covering his features as he speaks.

“A member’s daughter was caught with her boyfriend. He was going down on her or something. They hadn’t had sex, but her father was furious. It was my job to dole her punishment.”

I listen intently, waiting to hear.

“Her father believed that if she was ready for that, then she was ready for the full thing.”

Oh, fuck.

“I had to rape her, in that room, in front of everyone, and they wouldn’t let me stop until they said enough.”

He closes his eyes once more, shaking his head as his voice comes out rough.

“She was fifteen, Ash,” he says, his voice cracking. “Not a day goes by that I don’t think about that night, that I’m not haunted by it. Her screams and pleas.”

A shiver runs through Ronan as he shakes his head faster.

“I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, ever. I…I hope yours won’t be like that.”

My stomach sours, twisting as I see the look of shame and heartbreak on my uncle’s face. What kind of fucking disgusting society were we born into? Blackmailed into staying in? Though, we know the only true escape is death.

“Me too,” I rasp.

Ronan nods, and we ride the rest of the way in silence. When we arrive on campus and park, my tremors begin to intensify. My entire body begins to convulse with fear. I hate that I can’t stop it. I’m not a bitch. I’m not a coward, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t the most terrified I’ve ever been in my entire life.

“Hey,” Ronan says as he shuts the car off, rubbing his hand up and down my back. I curl into myself, shaking uncontrollably as I try to breathe through it.

“It’s alright,” he says. “Get it out now. Get it out.”

I choke on my breaths, this car feeling too small, too suffocating. Gritting my teeth, I do my best to pull myself together. Closing my eyes, I try to think of calming things. I think of the smell of Skyla’s hair fresh out of the shower, the way Liam rests his head on my chest just before he falls asleep, my mom. The way her hugs used to feel, so warm and comforting.

Slowly, my shaking eases, and I can breathe again. Inhaling deeply, I blow out the same breath before sitting up. Ronan pats my back as I do, looking at me with concern.

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