Page 40 of Inevitable

I know this man in front of me would protect me till his dying breath and love me forever. Regardless I find myself more than a little intimidated by him at times. I slip out of bed and move to my closet to start getting ready for the day.

As I am looking at a blouse, a pair of strong arms snake around my waist and soft lips graze my neck.

“Angelo, you are upset. Talk to me,” Luca whispers in my ear softly.

I just shrug and keep looking through the clothes like it is a huge decision what I will wear to sit around the house all day.

“I know you are scared for my safety, but you don’t need to be. We have the man at one of our facilities surrounded by my men. There is nowhere safer.”

He tries to reassure me as he trails kisses from my ear down to my shoulders. But that isn’t the only thing on my mind.

“I understand,” I say, trying to keep my tone light and indifferent. “You are a Mob Boss. This is your life. People try to kill you and you try to kill them. In the end someone comes out on top. Your world is made up of blood and power.”

“It seems that way right now because we are at war. I promise life is not always this dangerous.”

He goes to kiss me again, but I step out of his arms. His head drops and he blows out a frustrated breath.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. Don’t try to placate me because you think it’s what I want to hear. This is what your world is and always will be. You said it yourself over and over again when I was first brought here, that you didn’t want me in this life because this is all it would ever be.”

My temper is starting to flare with his pretty lies. I don’t want this cold-blooded killer, this Mafia Boss. I want Luca, my Luca. But I guess there is no such thing anymore. I only get bits of my Luca in private. The Boss is always lurking beneath though.

“Well, what the fuck do you want me to say Ashlynn? Yeah, I wanted better for you. You have only gotten a very small taste of what it is like. I couldn’t bear the thought of you getting drug down by me, of you getting hurt because of me. I-”

“Little late for that isn’t it?” I snap.

I know it isn’t fair to throw it in his face like that. I don’t think it is his fault, but I am angry that he is trying to downplay everything. He wants me to except what is and be okay with it, I can’t.

The frustration that was being held back by him has been cut loose. His jaw becomes so sharp it could cut glass, his eyes narrow and his mouth is twisted in to a scowl. He goes to open his mouth but quickly shuts it, shakes his head and storms into the bathroom slamming the door shut.

I stand there, hands formed into balls as I glare at the door. Honestly, I don’t even really understand why I am so mad. I guess it’s because I don’t want Luca to be this man, I am mad because I don’t want him to get hurt even though he is bound to and I am really mad because I am starting to wonder if being with him is worth it.

After a few minutes he comes stalking out of the bathroom dripping wet and brushes past me, hastily grabbing clothes and yanking them on. He isn’t looking at me and I can practically feel the anger rolling off of him. I step out of the closet and go to the balcony to take a couple of breaths. He comes up behind me but keeps his distance as he speaks quickly, his voice cold and hollow.

“I’m leaving. I won’t be back till later.”

Then I hear the bedroom door shut and his footsteps thunder down the stairs. I blow out a harsh breath. It doesn’t help that I have only left this house one time since being here for over a month, and that one time nearly got me killed. I feel trapped, forced to cower in this gilded cage and wait obediently for Luca to get home.

After about an hour of stewing I can’t take it anymore. I have to get out of here. I can’t freaking breathe. I walk back into the closet, slip on some clothes and grab my purse before walking down the stairs.

Since the Farelli have been missing for so long there are hardly any men at the house these days, usually just a couple outside patrolling the perimeter. I carefully sneak into the garage and make my way over to where all of the keys are hung up. Luca has over half a dozen cars that just sit in his huge garage. I look at my choices and grab the keys to the Bugatti. I need something fast, something to get me far away from here for a little bit at least, maybe longer.

I slip into the silver car and admire the sleek black leather interior; it really is stunning. I open the garage door and start the car. Knowing I don’t have too much time before I draw attention to myself, I floor it out of the garage and race around the circular driveway. I pass two guards that are standing near the front gates. Their expressions are at first confused, then morph in to panic. Thankfully, the gate seems to still be open from Luca’s departure and I am gone before they can even move from where they are standing, let alone get in a car to follow me.

I don’t let up though. I keep my foot to the floor until I am probably 25 miles away from the house. I get on back roads, since I am sure they assume I am heading for the city and just drive. I roll down the top and let the wind wrap around me, tossing my hair from side to side. The car is so light and smooth it almost feels like I am flying, like I am a bird flying away from everything. Away from the tortured years with my father, away from the danger of Luca’s world and away from the impending heartbreak that will shatter me when he doesn’t come home one day.

I drive for a while, admiring the trees with leaves a mix of reds, oranges and yellows when I see a park that sits on a lake. I pull in and notice that I am the only one here, perfect. I park the car and get out as I glance around me. The lake is so still it shows a perfect reflection of the autumn landscape around me. I sit down in the grass and lean back onto my hands. I inhale a deep breath and after a moment I let it out and already feel lighter.

Everything here is peaceful and calm. Right here I can imagine life as I wish it would be. That my father wasn’t the cruel abusive man he is, that my mother was still alive, that Luca and I were never separated and now we are married with 2 kids. I work with my mother at her company and Luca and his father work at a landscaping company that they opened together. He is home every day by 5:30PM and the only pain his work causes him is an ache in his back and calloused hands. We go to bed in each other's arms every night after saying I love you and live a long, happy and simple life.

I never realized that I had my perfect life mapped out in my head, but after imagining all of that I can’t see life being much better. Unfortunately, this life isn’t my fantasy. My father will always be evil, my mother and Luca’s parents are still gone and Luca is a Mob Boss.

If I want a normal simple life, I won’t find it with Luca. Could I be happy with a life that didn’t have Luca in it? I know I sure wasn’t happy for the last 7 years, but I was living underneath my father’s thumb and had my heart tightly locked up from anyone and everyone. Maybe I could find happiness with someone else, maybe not the same soul consuming happiness but something good enough.

The thought leaves as quick as it came though. A life without Luca makes my chest ache and my stomach curl. I know what true happiness is, I know what it is like to find your souls counterpart in another. Even if I have to live with the fear and worries, it is worth it. Choosing a life without Luca was never an option. It’s always been him and it always will be. We were inevitable.

Just as I have come to my little epiphany, I hear tires crunch the gravel behind me and brakes squeak. I peek over my shoulder and see that some of Luca’s men have already found me. Well free time is over I suppose.

I hop up to my feet and casually start to walk towards them. It looks like Benjamin is driving as Giovanni jumps out of the passenger seat, a deep scowl set on his face. I guess they are upset I was able to outrun the mafia so easily, it wasn’t terribly hard. No wonder the Farelli can stay hidden from these guys. If I kept driving, how long would it have taken them to find me?

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