Page 53 of What She Wants

“Fine, just let her in, in about 5 minutes.”

I hang up and sit back.

Me: Clear your schedule, we have something today.

Wife: What?

Me:Whatever plans you have, cancel them.

Wife: I can’t just cancel my plans.

Wife: I have a girls’ trip and we’re leaving in a couple of hours. Pretty sure I told you about this.

Me: Don’t remember that but cancel it.

Wife: I have a father, thank you very much.

I go to answer her with a chuckle but I stop when my mother walks in.

“Hey,hijo.”

“Mother.” I address her knowing she hates it when I do that.

She looks okay but I know she’s been crying. Her eyes are red and no amount of makeup can have her hiding how she really feels. My mother has really expressive eyes and when you know her, that's when you can tell how she really feels.

“Can I sit?” she asks.

I tilt my head and give her a pointed look. “When have I ever said you couldn’t sit? Just sit,Mamá, you’re making this awkward as hell.”

My mother sits and remains quiet for a moment. I know she came here to talk but I won’t push her or tell her what she should be saying to me.

“I just…” My mother starts then sighs again, looking away. “I’m sorry.” she begins. “My actions haven’t been okay, for a while now and I don’t know what to say to that. How to apologize or even change the many things that I’ve done. I’m so sorry that I’ve hurt you to the point that you don’t want to be my son anymore. I know that there’s nothing I can change to make it alright again. It just can’t happen but thinking about it all, I can’t imagine what I’ve put you through. The things that I’ve kept you from. You know that I love you right? I really do and I know a lot of times I never showed you that, that’s on nobody else but me.

“It isn’t an excuse, trust me. I just wanted you to know that the fear of losing you, my son, is enough to shake me awake. I can’t lose you, Marìn, I can’t. I’ll do anything you tell me to. I’ll give up what I’m doing and I’ll figure out my life.”

My eyes go to my mother because I can hear the emotions in her voice.

“You’d do that?”

“I would, baby, I’d do anything for you, Marìn. Even if what I did wasn’t good. It wasn’t right to keep you from your father as you grew up. The way I let my mother and father influence me with their hatred. You didn’t deserve that. You have never deserved that and I let it reach all the way to you. I shouldn’t have done that. I should have protected you. I should have changed for you and I know it’s a little too late but just give me a chance to do something. Anything.”

“Mamá, don’t beg me.” I say.

“Okay.” she nods.

Standing, I walk around my desk and kneel before her, grabbing her hand in mine.

“You are my mother and I love you. I really do and that’s why I was that hurt by your actions. You mean the world to me and I love Esme so you two arguing like this with you being the reason why, is something I just cannot handle. She did nothing to you and I need you to understand that. You don’t have to apologize to me but you do need to make amends with my wife. I don’t want you to give up what you do, just change it. Let go, Mom, let go of the hurt. I love you too much for you to continue like this. I want you to be free and happy,Mami.”

My mother smiles and leans in, hugging me tight. “I love you,hijoand I’ll do anything for you. Anything, just don’t let me out of your life, okay?”

“Okay.”

After we’ve hugged and I’ve wiped her tears, my mother cups my face in hers and tilts her head.

“You love her?” she asks.

“What?” I repeat.

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