Page 37 of Come Inside

For the millionth time, I reached for my phone to call her.

What exactly would I say?

Hey, you know how your mom told you your dad was dead? How she kept you from the funeral? How she changed your last name? How she moved you across the country? How she met your step-dad and skipped off into the sunset?

Well, you know how weird we thought that was? Ha ha ha. Turns out your mom is a psycho bitch, and your dad is alive.

Oh, and I fucked him. A lot. And it might have been the best sex of my life. Just call me mommy, I’ll be better than yours, promise.

Izzy was an amazing friend, but even she wouldn’t be okay with this.

My phone’s vibrating pulled me out of my internal dialogue. I expected to see James calling…again.

But it was actually Izzy.

Trepidation sunk into my gut.

Fuck, fuck,fuck!

“Yara?” the quiet voice came from the phone.

Apparently in my turmoil I had accidentally answered.

“What’s up girl?” I put on my best bravado and cheery voice, pulling the phone up to my ear.

“I caught Harry.” Harry–her current bad decision, herboyfriend. Izzy’s voice was monotone, matter of fact. “He was dick deep in Hallie’s asshole. I have a video of it.”

“Hallie?” My own anxiety was replaced with outrage. “Your fucking step-sister? What the actual fuck? What did he have to say for himself?”

She snorted sarcastically. “That I made the video with AI. I met him out–”

I grumbled into the phone.

“In public!” she reassured before sighing heavily. “I’m just too chunky, nobody is ever going to love me. I’m always going to be stuck in this endless cycle of vanilla men.”

My heart went out to her. Izzy was one of the most beautiful people I had ever met. Inside and out, but she didn’t see it for herself. Not that you could ever tell; she was the queen at faux confidence. “Stop with that self-deprecating bullshit. We both know that man wasn’t shit,” I huffed out. I may have my own personal issues with my body image, and maybe it was hypocritical, but I knew Izzy had the ability to love herself, she just needed a little push sometimes.

“Yeah… and we have our fucking reunion coming up. Just about a month now.”

In my own distress, I had forgotten about that entirely.

That’s when I would tell her. It would be better in person.

Or maybe I reallywasjust a chicken shit.

Either or, really.

“I think it’s about time I use your dating site too.” Izzy chuckled uneasily.

Ice perforated my veins, memories of James popping up behind my eyelids. Even after weeks, I couldn’t get the thought of him out of my mind. Of how he made me feel. Of how, even in spite of the knowledge that he was Izzy’s dad, I still wanted him.Neededhim.

That he had started to fix something I never realized was broken. His words were a thread and now here I was a half sewed up mess.

I needed to make sure. To be certain. Maybe itwasa coincidence and I could sing kumbaya into the sunset with James. “Ooh if only our families could see us now, dating site extraordinaires. I know your mother would bust a gasket, but I wonder how your dad would have felt. What was your dad’s name again?” Fuck that sounded stupid even to my own ears. I was not slick atall.

She went silent for a few moments, and I was almost afraid I had crossed some invisible line, but then she eventually spoke, her voice lighter than Iexpected. “Yeah, I don’t really talk about him too much. James Wright was his name. Why?”

Well, that answered that. The last piece of hope I held onto crumbled. “Just curious.” I hummed. “Love you Izzy, you know that right?”

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