Page 88 of Forever We Fall

My voice is strong and steady. “Come by this evening if you’re willing to fully submit.”

Nate’s Adam’s apple bobs, and he nods.

We part and join in the revelry that lasts far too long on the gym floor, and then down in the locker room. Everyone is amped. We hit the showers, change, and head up to the quad.

It’s too bad we can’t drink per the school code. This would be the perfect night for it. There’s a swell of people on the quad. It’s also too bad there aren’t any girls on campus. This would be the perfect night for that too. We’re all amped, even the guys who filtered down from their rooms and have no interest in wrestling or our win.

I sit on top of an outdoor table, brace my feet on the seat, and talk to a tenth-year about how he can improve his technique. Only because he’s asked incessantly. I’m not in the business of mentoring. Mostly, I know how much I still have to learn.

As the sun turns the day to night, I spy Arlo on the quad, talking to a group of guys we play football with on the weekends.

“He’s coming out of his shell, huh?” Nate says.

Since summer ended, Arlo has bloomed. He talks to people. Hell, he even has friends.

I nod, trying not to feel a certain way about it.

“It's good for him,” I remind myself aloud for the thousandth time, bracing my hands on my knees.

“Came from a shitty family, I heard,” Nate offers, taking a drink of whatever is in his cup.

“A great family. Mom. Dad. Brother.” I rub my hand over my face. “They died in a car accident and left him behind.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.” I force my gaze away from him. Too much longing in my heart and skin. It’s like every part of me is its own entity, and each fucking one longs for Arlo’s touch, knowing none can have it.

Nate watches me too closely. He opens his mouth, I’m certain to ask something else about Arlo. The guy is hot as fuck and intriguing. Everything about him is interesting, from his face to his newfound swagger.

“A-levels are easy.” I interrupt his thoughts. “Last year, you said they were a bitch.” Technically, I don't have to take them since I want to go to college in the States. I just need the ACT or SAT. I’ll take both and finish my A-levels. I have to plan for every outcome. Arlo is too. Maybe it’s the control freaks in us.

“They are.” His expressive face crinkles. “Unless you’re a weirdo who likes taking tests.”

I shrug, not caring to talk about A-levels but also not willing to talk about Arlo anymore with Nate.

We talk about dumb stuff until he heads to get a refill. “You want one?”

“What is it?”

“Old Tom, Henry swiped from his parents, and soda water.” He tilts the cup toward me. “What do you say?”

A shiver runs through me. “I’d rather drink swamp water, but thanks.”

Nate laughs and heads off. I talk to a couple of other guys from the team, waiting for Arlo to make his way to me.

He doesn’t.

The longer I sit out here, the damper the air becomes and the more provoked I am. Before I ruin everyone’s night, I head for the dorm, not caring if Arlo comes home or if Nate shows up at all.

I toss my bag into the closet and then chuck myself onto my bed. We’ve been sleeping in Arlo’s since we started sleeping together again. I’m tempted to stay here tonight just to prove a point.

What point? I don’t know. That I don’t need him?

Ha!

The moment the thought enters my brain, my body goes cold and clammy. I dismiss it almost immediately.

Not five minutes pass of me staring at the ceiling before I hear Arlo enter his room. A minute, maybe two, goes by, and then he strides through my open doorway from our joined bathroom with a book in his hand.

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