Page 101 of Forever We Fall

Sorrow takes hold. I’m suddenly exposed in a way I’ve never really experienced. It has nothing to do with the absence of clothes. The power and control I usually feel when orchestrating our pleasure is nowhere to be found. I want to hide under the covers and never come out.

My skin itches as though it’s too tight and too cold.

Nate’s hands skate over my skin, taking more liberties than he’s been given. His thumbs graze my nipples. His lips lavish my collarbone and shoulders.

Arlo looks on from the chair. His brow furrows deeply. I wonder if he can see my control slipping away, like an unmanned and unmoored sailboat in a storm.

Eager hands cup my balls while his lips move up my neck.

“Please, Hota.” Nate nips at my ear. “Please, I’m ready.”

He kisses my jaw and wraps his hand around my dick.

Of course I’m hard as a fucking railroad spike. My body betrays my emotions. Pleasure makes stars dance in my wide eyes.

Nate works me hard until precum drips off my tip. The crinkle of foil breaks the uneasy silence, and then he rolls a condom down my shaft. I stare, unable to do anything else.

He slips the lube from my hand and spreads it over me. The feeling is foreign and too good. My entire body quakes harder than it did the first time a girl touched my dick.

Nate stretches and tilts his chin. His lips reach for mine.

Something inside me breaks free. I don’t know if it’s my patience, my outrage, or my innate need to control, but the chains are off.

I grab Nate’s wide throat, stopping him cold. “You don’t kiss me,” I hiss. “You don’t beg me. You take what you get, and you’re glad for it.”

His eyes go wide. “Y…Yes, Sir. I’m sorry, Sir.”

With deft hands, I spin him to look at Arlo. “Tell him what you want.”

“I want to be fucked.” Nate’s voice quivers.

“Do you think he’ll fuck you?” I ask, angling my head over his shoulder and staring at Arlo.

My friend is on the edge of his seat, like he’s actually contemplating something. I have no idea what.

“No,” he answers, reluctantly.

“But you think I will?” My fingers dig into his nape.

“I want you to.”

“On your knees.”

Nate drops quickly. My hand stays in place. His clothes are in a heap in front of his knees.

I lean over him and push his face to the floor. “If you come tonight, we never do this again. We’re done. All of it. Do you understand me?”

“I don’t…I can’t?—”

“Do you hear me, Nate? There is always a price for the things you want. Sometimes it’s small, inconsequential. Other times, itwill cost you everything. Decide what you want and what you’re willing to do for it.”

His chest expands, spreading the thick wings of his back and straining his shoulders. A squeak comes from the leather chair only a few feet from our heads. I don’t take my gaze away from this pivotal moment.

“Fuck me, Hota, please.”

I don’t know what I hoped for. That Arlo would stop the whole show. That he would say he doesn’t want me to fuck someone else. That this has all gone too far.

Only the chair squeaks.

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