Page 49 of Forever We Fall

“No!” My head shakes so fast that I get a little dizzy. “You can’t kill him. That’s a great concept but a ludicrous task. It’s so risky, and you can’t kill him while you’re gone. They’ll know you were with him. You’ll be the first suspect.”

“I know.”

“Then let’s tell Bridgeport.” My arms go wide. My voice cracks. I’m on the verge of puking or sobbing or both.

He grabs my hands and presses them to his chest. His heart beats hard against my fingers. Arlo lowers his head just a bit so we’re eye to eye.

“I don’t want him in jail, where he’ll get daily walks and three-square meals and leave early on good behavior.” The tendons in his neck pop. His jaw works. “I want him ended, where he’ll never be able to hurt anyone ever again.”

“I want that too, but not at the risk of you.”

“He can’t kill me now, for the same reason I can’t kill him.”

My head is shaking. I grab his shoulders, no longer caring about scaring him off. He’s scaring me too much. “Please, don't go. He’ll hurt you. He’ll…”

Arlo pulls me into the fold of his chest and the haven of his arms. He is my home. More than any place in this world has ever been. More than Japan. More than London. More than my parents’ house.

He is my home.

Tears slip down my cheek. I feel as though I’m being cut away from the newfound part of me. I don’t know if I’ll ever get it back.

“I will heal, and I will be back.”

“Please, don’t go.” I cry against his chest like the baby I’ve never been.

“I have to, but first, I need you to promise me something.” The rumble of his request reverberates in his chest.

Reluctantly, I lean back and meet his gaze.

“Promise me you won’t come to the house.”

I open my mouth to protest, but he presses his finger to my lips.

“I know you’ve been plotting and planning to help me.” His free hand brushes the hair out of my face and traces the line of my cheek. “Promise me you’ll stay here. Nothing he can do to me would hurt me as much as him getting his hands on you.” He holds my face in his hands. “Promise me.”

“No.” Tears slick my cheeks. “I won’t lose you.”

Arlo’s chest works on a harsh breath. His gaze hardens on mine. “I don’t want to go, but more than I don’t want to go, I need him to die, and I need to do it. If I don’t, I’ll never be free of him.”

His hand clamps around the back of my neck. “If he were to hurt you”—his lips form a silent sneer—“kill you, my reason for living would be gone. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

That if I got hurt, he’d end his life.

I grit my teeth so hard I’m surprised they don’t crack. “Fuck you.” My shoulders shake with my snarl and sobs.

“Promise me you won’t come to the house.”

Against my better judgment and everything in my heart, I nod.

“Your words,” he demands.

“I love you.” Tears gather on my upper lip and I rub them onto his neck as I bury my face and breathe him in.

His arms tighten around me to the point of pain. Pain I’d live a million times over to have him for forever. I push back and say the truest thing to my soul as tears slip down my cheek. “If me staying here is what you need, then I love you enough to give it to you, even if it kills me.”

“Thank you.”

They’re not the words I want to hear. This is not the circumstance I want to endure.

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