Page 17 of Forever We Fall

“What are you talking about?” My gaze slices up to Hota’s.

“That thing that just happened was a panic attack.”

“Maybe I’m just allergic to you.”

“Hilarious. Really,” he deadpans.

I push myself back into the chair and feel like I just ran a marathon. My abdomen is jelly, and my arms and legs quake.

“How do you know about panic attacks?” I choke.

His arms cross over his lean chest. I wait for him to turn around and leave, but he doesn’t. It’s as if he’s weighing his words carefully. “My mum had them from time to time.” He bites his bottom lip. “Have you experienced that before?”

My nod is curt.

“I didn’t mean to trigger you.”

“I don’t understand half the words that are coming out of your mouth.” I huff.

I don’t like that. I usually know the most out of my friends. Of course, I don’t have friends now. I have nothing. Well, a little more than nothing, but not much.

“Can you turn that noise down? It sounds like someone's skinning cats alive.”

With a tilt of my head, I permit him to turn off the music. “It’s death metal.”

“It’s death, all right. Death to my eardrums.” He moves carefully around me, and then the music dies.

Hismusictakes over once more, filling my room with slaps and moans.

“Shit.” His hand goes to his crotch, which consequently is right by my fucking face. “That is loud.”

My dick jumps to life, revived by the sounds of fucking. I’m disgusted once more. If only I could control my body’s reactions. If only.

Hota doesn’t apologize for the noise or its volume. He doesn’t even move like he’s going to turn it off.

It’s like he’s unfazed by it. Well, not aloof. I’m staring at the evidence of his appreciation.

Why am I staring?

My cheeks heat, and I jerk my chin toward the door.

He’s not embarrassed by it.

“You should try jerking off.”

My jaw unhinges from my face. My eyes go wide. “Excuse me?”

“Chill, I don’t mean right this second.” He gives an exacerbated sound and shifts back a couple of steps, still holding his cock through his sweats. “Don’t want you having a heart attack or anything.” He chuckles as if thinking about me doing just that. Jerking off right here, right now, in front of him.

My entire body flushes, and my fucking knees wobble.

“Nope,” he continues, “wouldn’t want your brain to explode, prude.”

“I’m not a prude,” I growl.

“Mm-hmm.” He looks down his nose at me, unconvinced.

“I’m not.”

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