Page 43 of Aria's Desire

He missed the days when her thoughts and emotions were the clearest in his mind, everyone else’s a whisper beneath her. He missed her eyes shining with only her love and devotion for him instead of being shadowed with worry.

He’d tried to keep the severity of his ability hidden from her, not because he didn’t trust her or didn’t want her help, but because his first instinct was always to protect her, to care for her and ensure her wellbeing.

Perhaps being away from the complex had afforded him new perspective. Perhaps it was his talk with Tirox on the runner. Perhaps it was watching her with Rellik and Thrasin from afar.

Whatever the cause, he understood now that it had been the wrong approach, that it only succeeded in making her feel as though he was pushing her away. He realized he’d fallen into the same flawed thinking as Rellik and Thrasin.

She did not want to be shielded from their problems or struggles. He’d thought he was being strong for her, but she did not want that, not if it meant they kept their thoughts and feelings from her.

His Aria was a protector, a problem solver, and stronger than any person he’d ever met. She wanted to know their minds, wanted to help solve their problems, wanted to face and conquer their obstacles with them, no matter if they were big or small.

His mate did not give her heart freely, but once she had, her commitment and dedication to her males was boundless. She gave all of herself to her mates, and expected the same in return.

Kix understood now, with painful clarity, he’d failed her.

He’d retreated into himself, both to cope with the onslaught and to spare his Aria from feeling it with him. He’d gotten so absorbed in fixing himself, his mind so overcrowded with noise and dulled with the pain it caused him, that he’d lost perspective and fell back on instincts.

His mate had an apt phrasing: he could not see the forest for the trees.

No more. He would stop being foolish, apologize to his aessa for his failure, then continue apologizing with his words, actions… and by giving her as many orgasms as she could take. And, then, he would start again.

His stem swelled in his sheath as his mind swam with imaginings of just how enthusiastically he wouldapologize, hiscirritwitching excitedly and his frilled cockhead emerging, hopefully, before he flexed and drew it back in.

If he’d thought his obsession with Aria would lessen or settle after being mated to her for months, he was wrong. He still craved her with an intensity that would be unnerving, if he didn’t know she loved it, and him, as much as he loved her.

Forcing his mind back to safer thoughts, before his control broke and he hunted her down to begin earning her forgiveness that moment, he focused on all they’d learned during their reconnaissance as he scanned to make sure no one was looking his way, then ducked inside the pantry.

Dropping his invisibility, he quickly activated the disguise collar, then looked down at himself to make sure he now appeared as a Gaiaeshi male, though one dressed much more modestly than usual to hide his natural skin tone. Seeing it worked, he set to filling a sack with foodstuffs.

In the last night and day of spying, Kix had come across more than a few people, mainly females, whose thoughts clearly broadcast their opposition to joining the war. Thankfully, the majority were only against it because they didn’t want their people, and more specifically their mates and young, in danger.

They feared all able-bodied Gaiaeshi would be conscripted to fight, whether or not they were willing.

Kix could’ve put their fears to rest easily. His aessa would never allow that. His beautiful mate was honorable to her core and was staunchly against any form of slavery. ‘Force was force,’ as she would say.

He didn’t worry overmuch about those people. They would learn through her actions that their fears were unwarranted. It was the few whose thoughts were truly malicious, those who didn’t want change because it would expose them, who reveled in the corruption they had been allowed to grow with their people’s seclusion. Corruption they’d had a very large hand in bringing about.

Ishtal, herself, didn’t even know the extent of it. He knew that because he’d searched her mind. She didn’t know of the mistreatment of males, of the villages on the brink of starvation, of the theft of mates, or the recent practice of coercing males into sexual servitude.

But she would. He would make sure of it. And when Aria found out? By the stars, her wrath would be a glorious thing to behold.

Leaving the kitchens, Kix sent Tirox a message telling him he was on his way. The demon was tending to and keeping watch over the males they’d found, ensuring they were safe, while Kix left to acquire food and drink for them.

He considered, briefly, sending a message to his aessa to tell her of their findings, but decided against it. She would come storming back, full of wrath. As tactical and strategic as she usually was, he didn’t know if she’d be able to remain detached enough to employ either in this situation. While her anger would be justified, Kix felt this needed to be handled a bit more delicately, for the moment at least.

Having their misdeeds exposed so publicly would likely only serve to send those responsible into hiding, which would make discovering what else they were up to that much harder.

Aside from that, Kix knew that, while the vast majority would condemn the treatment those males had been subjected to, it would also damage Aria’s fragile standing with them. To be shown that their people were capable of such things by an outsider would make them push her away, if only in an effort to deal with the shame themselves.

No, his aessa needed to be out among the people, building trust, solidifying her standing among them. They needed to hear her and understand she was not asking them to fightforher, butwithher. They needed to realize she didn’t want subjects to command but comrades.

While she did that, he and Tirox would handle this situation themselves, quietly. For now.

Chapter 24

Aria, Sin, and Rellik spent another hour in the market before Rellik suggested they visit the villages beyond the castle walls. It was a good idea, and she was all for it… at first.

She balked when she realized he wanted them to ride on the horse-like beasts, which he calledikkar, arguing that riding Sin wouldn’t make the best first impression when they were trying to build trust, not terrify people.

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