Page 13 of Aria's Desire

“I am Vrasai!”

Blinking, she reared back. That wasn’t at all what she’d expected him to say. Frowning, she shook her head. “I don’t know what the hell that means.”

“It means I am outcast! Without honor!” he yelled then blew out a hard breath through flared nostrils and straightened, seeming to pull his pride around him like armor. “I chose this. In that prison of stone, with your lifeblood under my claws, I had a choice. I chose Vrasai. I chose to live what remained of my life protecting you from afar, never to bathe in your light again.”

He was speaking words, but for the life of her she didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. He couldn’t be saying…

“Please tell me you’re joking. You’re telling me you’ve been holding yourself to this- this… custom because you, what? Scratched me?” That could not possibly be what he was saying. It just couldn’t.

Because if it was, she was going to shoot him, if only to give the idiocy a chance to bleed out and stop poisoning him.

Sin bared his sharp teeth and lifted his chin, gazing down at her haughtily. “You do not understand.”

“You’re goddamn right I don’t understand!” she hissed furiously. “Explain it better!”

His eye twitched and she could hear him grinding his teeth, but too fucking bad. Sheneededto understand.

His voice was a low growl as he explained, “AThrarianmale’s only purpose in life is to protect hisSvarian, to feed her, care for her, ensure she never comes to harm. It is why we are bigger. It is the reason we were given the ability to adapt and change our bodies. Hurting you that day… ”

He swallowed hard, looking tortured.

“It does not matter that it was a small hurt. In that moment, I lost my honor. The only choices left a Thrarian who harms or allows harm to come to his Svarian is to kill himself or, should she not have a new male to take his place, become Vrasai. His life is a punishment. To guard her from afar, to watch on as she takes another mate, to be denied her love, her light, for the rest of his days.”

The look he gave her was one of shame and defiance. “You had two mates already. I had never seen that, but it told me clearly you did not need a Vrasai. Yet, I could not leave you. You did not need me. But I needed you.” His face twisted with pain as he whispered hoarsely, “I still need you, and youstilldo not need me.”

For a long moment, Aria just stared up at him silently. Why did it feel like her heart was breaking?

Despite everything else, despite all the issues between them, she’d thought he understood her, thought hesawher. Learning he’d put them both through all this pain because of a custom meant for females of an entirely different species, meant for a world completely different than this one… It hurt. It made her feel like he saw her as less, like he thought her strength and independence made her flawed.

Was that the kind of mate he wanted? Someone who’d depend on him for everything?

“Is that who you wish I was? Someone weak? Someone in need of sheltering?” God, her chest ached. “I don’t need protection, Sin. I can damn well protect myself. I don’t need someone to take care of me or feed me or shelter me from the world. I need partners—strong enough to standbyme, where we can depend on each other equally. Not behind me, and damn sure not in front of me. At my side, ready and willing to fight with me. Someone who knows me and trusts me.” Forcing herself to stand tall, in defiance of the hollow feeling in her chest, she gave him a cold look. “I’m not going to apologise for being strong. I’m not ever going to feel bad for being myself. And I, for goddamn sure, won’t ever diminish myself to fit anyone’s view of what a female should be.”

Thrasin felt gutted.That wasnotwhat he had meant. He knew her, saw her clearly. By the stars, helovedher strength, was in awe of her sharp intelligence, and was enthralled with all of her. He just- this was all he knew, the only way he was taught how a male should be. He was trying to adapt. He was trying to be what he thought she needed, what he thought she wanted from him.

Shaking his head in denial, he reached for her. “No. I know you, my light. I see you. I am- I do not. I was young when they took- this is all I know. I am trying—”

“That’s a shit excuse, Thrasin.”

By the stars! He felt like she was not hearing him, and his frustration boiled over. “I would give all for you! Forsake my customs, my honor! I have never seen a female with many mates! Where do I fit? What do I have that you need? I am trying to—”

“You’re not trying! I don’t need you to give up anything, Sin! I don’t need or want you to cut yourself into pieces to try and fit into my life!”

Aria pulled in a slow breath,shoving down the tears that so badly wanted to escape, and met his gaze, feeling… sad. Just so achingly sad.

“There’s a space for you. There’s always been a space just foryou,” she rasped. “I wanted you to meet me. I need you to seeme. I understand this is harder for you than it is for Tirox or Kix or Rellik. I understand you’ve spent the majority of your life alone, in pain, being treated as an animal. I understand it’s only been a few months, that you’re still acclimating to freedom, and this is the first time you’ve had to be your own person since childhood. But, we’re all adapting. We’re all figuring shit out, one day at a time. You stubbornly clinging to this and hurting us both… It stops. Now. Figure out what you want—”

Cutting short when her comm pinged, Aria exhaled sharply. Closing her eyes, she took slow, deep breaths, getting herself under control, compartmentalizing the pain. When the hurt was locked away and the tightness in her throat relaxed, she pulled it out and tapped the screen.

“What is it?”

“Sarasha,” Rellik greeted, sounding as if he were right in front of her. Catching the odd blankness of his tone, a frown flickered across her brow, but she waited for him to finish. “If you are willing, we desire your presence.”

Rellik’s voice could be many things. Blank wasn’t one of them. It was that perfect emptiness that told her something was wrong. And she knew immediately what it was.

Someone was listening, an outsider, someone in front of which he couldn’t or wouldn’t speak freely.

“I’ll be there shortly. Show them to conference room L-3.”

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