Page 45 of Gravel and Grit

ZAEK

Zaek woke to the comforting weight of Mira curled up against his chest and the warmth of her soft breaths sighing against him, warming more than just his skin.

They’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms, but at some point during the night he’d wrapped his wings around her so she was cocooned against him. It was an instinctive move for a mated Khargal, a way to protect theirHondassa, and that he’d done it without conscious thought made him smile.

It seemed, more and more, that his fears of being unsuitable were unfounded. His gland was functioning properly, though she had exhausted it the day before, and his instincts were, so far, working impeccably. From what he’d been able to observe, she did not even gaze at him as if he had lost his mind on the few occasions she’d caught him conversing with himself, so his worries about the state of his sanity being an issue were unjustified as well.

Zaek studied her sleeping face and lay very still so as not to disturb her.

He was sure she would have countless questions when she awoke. He was eager to answer them. But, for now, he was content to trace her delicate features with his eyes, to gently stroke her soft hair, and to breathe in her scent, now mixed indelibly with his.

From the daytime television plays he enjoyed watching, he’d expected wooing a human to be much more drawn out and fraught with drama, for there to be misunderstandings and fights followed by reconciliation, only to get into another quarrel over a different misunderstanding. He was not upset

to find that, with Mira, this was not the case. Vastly relieved, in fact. While entertaining, the constant turmoil they portrayed looked exhausting.

Of course, he would never be unfaithful to her or fail to take proper care of her or treat her with disrespect, which quite a few of the males on TV did.

The need to get up and move that usually set in when he was still for any length of time was absent. He was perfectly content to enjoy their first waking together, as mates. His mind was calm and quiet for the first time in a very long time.

The sun was just rising, its gentle, golden hue filtering through the windows and setting the room, and Mira, aglow when she woke. She looked breathtaking bathed in the morning light, like some kind of ethereal being.

Her long black curls showed hidden red highlights, her pale skin was painted with the faint blush of sleep, and when she blinked them open, her big, blue eyes were soft.

A smile curled her full, pink lips when she looked up and found him staring. He was glad she did not mind, because he was sure he could not stop himself from gazing at her at every opportunity.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning to you as well, my mate,” he purred.

She looked more alert all of a sudden. The smallest frown flickered across her brow, but he missed it as he bent to kiss her. He kept hisdassato himself, for now, just enjoying the soft press of her lips against his.

“Mate, huh?” she asked quietly when he pulled back, a small smile on her lips and a question in her eyes. “Is that whathondassameans?”

“Mmm, yes,” he purred, loving the sound of it on her lips.

Her expression turned hesitant, or maybe it was hopeful. He could not quite decide. Perhaps a mix of both. Her eyes flicked back and forth between his, and he could feel her heart beginning to pound where their chests were pressed together.

“Do your people, uh… ” She stopped and the faint blush on her cheeks got darker before she sucked in a slow breath and met his gaze, her blue eyes now bright. “Does having… intercourse with someone mean you’re married, or mated, in your culture? Did we— is that what we did?”

At her question, and the implications it held, his breathing stopped and his smile melted away. His heart stuttered before a horrible realization set it to thundering, so hard he could barely hear or think past it.

What have I done?

He thought she knew, thought her kiss was…

Fool! Humans kiss all the time, not just when deliveringdassa! We knowthis. She does not even have a gland. She bestows us with a human gesture ofaffection and we lose all sense and think she is agreeing to be our mate.

He searched her face just in case he was wrong, but no. That look of confusion made it very clear to him she had not been demonstrating her desire to receive the mate kiss.

“Macerodamn me, Mira,” he choked out. “I am… I— I did not… I thought.” He stopped, too shocked and horrified by what he’d done to speak.

He started to withdraw from her, sure she would not want to touch him, not after what he’d done. Her eyes went wide at what he was sure was an expression of horror on his face to match what he felt. Reaching out, she lay a hand on his arm before he could move any farther away, freezing him in place.

“Zaek, stop. Wait! I’m not angry. I didn’t expect… ” she trailed off and shook her head, her curls bouncing around her face. “But I’m not mad, I promise. I do have alotof questions though,” she warned, her expression serious but, true to her word, she did not appear upset.

Only because she does not understand.

He was angry with himself, shocked and appalled down to his bones that he could have done such a thing without explaining the consequences and aftereffects to her in explicit detail beforehand, without telling her the changes her body would go through. It did not matter that she scattered his wits, that he desired her more than he wanted air, and he could barely think past it. It did not matter that he had not acted with malice or with the intention to deceive her. There was no excuse.

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