Page 40 of Run Free

I let her explore my body until I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to give her everything and make her feel as good as she was making me feel, but my wolf felt agitated and more aggressive than usual. While his emotions were his own, they influenced mine, making me more aggressive with Clara than I normally would have been.

I growled as I pinned her to the bed, jerking her pants down without even bothering to unbutton, then disposing of mine, too. She giggled with excitement, and happiness shone in her eyes. I wished there was some way to keep her that happy, but I knew when I told her about my past and she glimpsed the coward within me, everything would change.

That thought calmed the raging beast inside as I slowly made love to her. I wanted to memorize every second of being with her—the way her eyelids fluttered open and closed when she moaned, and the little grunting noises she made as the intensity of our lovemaking increased. I watched as she bit her lip just before she cried out in ecstasy. Knowing I did that to her gave me my own release shortly after.

I rolled off of her and gathered her into my arms. We didn’t speak as her labored breathing slowed and leveled off into a soft rhythmic pattern.

“We’re okay, right?” she asked, breaking the silence between us and letting me know she hadn’t fallen asleep in my arms.

I kissed the top of her head. “No matter what, we’re going to be okay.”

I knew the time for the truth had come. There shouldn’t be secrets between mates, and I didn’t want there to be any with Clara. Sometimes it was hard to remember just why I’d left. My sixteen-year-old self had plenty of reasons, but they didn’t seem as important with so much time passed. I knew then it was the right thing for me. I just hoped she could understand as I tried to explain it. I had never told anyone what had happened the night I’d turned my back on my pack and left Virginia forever.

“We don’t have to talk about it. I really don’t care what did or didn’t happen in your past. I care about the man you are now,” Clara told me.

I smiled down at my mate in my arms. “You know, I really didn’t want a mate. The idea never appealed to me, especially with everything my dad went through, but you snuck in on me, angel. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier, than when I’m with you. I’m not great with words and expressing stuff like that, but I wanted you to know.” I wiped a tear rolling down her cheek as she stared up at me. “I love your coconut scent, too,” I confessed.

She scrunched up her nose as she did sometimes when she was embarrassed or unsure of something. “You think I smell like coconut?”

I laughed. “I know you smell like coconut. I’d know you’re scent blindfolded anywhere.” That made her blush and squirm in my arms. “Careful, angel, we won’t be talking long if you keep that up.”

Her blush spread down her neck and across her chest. It was a beautiful sight.

“Fine, get dressed and then we’ll talk,” she said, making a move to leave.

I held her tightly and pulled her flush against my chest. “Or you can stay right here and listen.” I sighed. “I’ve never shared this with anyone before, so be patient with me.”

She nodded and hugged me for encouragement as she snuggled closer to my side and rested her head on my chest.

I took a deep breath, calling forth the memories I’d tried desperately to forget, grateful I didn’t have to look into her eyes as I relayed my story. “I guess you heard Lily on the phone and already know I’m from the Virginia Pack.”

She nodded. “And you went to camp with Kyle Westin, so your parents must have had a pretty high pack position.”

“Yeah, as high as they come,” I confessed.

Clara pulled back and looked at me with a puzzled look. “Wait, you’re an Alpha kid?”

I shrugged and sighed. “Yeah, I was, or am. I don’t know. My dad is Alpha of the Virginia Pack. My childhood wasn’t terrible. I mean, you know the pressures any Alpha kid faces. My life probably wasn’t that much different. Everything seemed perfect from the outside, but my family was far from that. Appearances were everything to my mother.” I snorted in disgust and shook my head. “My entire life seemed like one big lie and nothing but appearances. I didn’t realize it at first, but I was thirteen when the illusion burst. That’s when I caught my mother having sex with my uncle.”

“Your uncle?” Clara asked in shock, pushing up to look at me. “I mean you had said she hadn’t been faithful to your father, but with his own brother?”

I nodded. “Yes. She tried to tell me he was really her true mate, and some crap about responsibility and not hurting my father. I was still a kid and she was very convincing. For three years I kept her secret, all the while knowing they were still sneaking around behind my dad’s back. He was completely oblivious to it. I was sixteen years old the day my wolf came forward. I was so excited. I ran to tell Dad first, but he was in a closed-door meeting. I headed home to wait for him and saw Mother’s car in the driveway.” I stopped talking and let the memories assault me. They were so vivid, leaving me feeling young and vulnerable all over again.

Clara rested her hand over my heart, grounding me to the present. “I can see this is painful for you to talk about. You don’t have to continue.”

I gave her a sad smile, grateful for how understanding she was being. “You need to know. I checked the house and couldn’t find her anywhere. I headed down the hall and noticed her and Dad’s bedroom door slightly ajar. That wasn’t normal. I approached slowly, because my wolf seemed a little on edge. The sensations were still so new to me that I didn’t know if it was good or bad. I heard voices as I got closer. I quickly made out Mother’s voice and then my uncle’s. I started to walk away, but my uncle’s voice grew louder and I didn’t like it, so I stopped. It didn’t take me long to realize they were talking about my dad. They were concocting a plan to kill my father, Clara.”

“Oh my gosh. What did you do?” she asked, sitting up in bed next to me.

“I listened to everything until they quieted down. When I heard my mother’s moans, I left with disgust. I didn’t know what to do or who to confide in. My brother Mark came home and still I tried to intercept and keep her secret, despite everything I’d just heard. I think I was in shock. It wasn’t until Mark rolled his eyes and asked if mom and Uncle Mick were having aprivatemeeting again, that I realized I wasn’t the only one who knew about them. Mark and I talked, and I told him everything I’d overheard. My mother had told me over the years that no one would ever believe me if I tried to tell her secret, so I was surprised and happy when Mark did believe me.”

My eyes misted over, remembering how for the first time in a very long time, I hadn’t felt alone. For that brief moment in time, I didn’t have to bear the burdens of that secret by myself. It was only a blip in time, really, and would come crashing to an end shortly afterwards.

“Are you okay?” Clara asked, concern evident in her voice.

I cleared my throat, trying to ease the lump that had formed there. I moved to sit, propping myself up against the headboard, and pushed on with my story.

“Mark insisted on going to Dad with everything I’d shared with him. Obviously, Dad didn’t take the news well. Mark and I realized shortly into the conversation that Dad had no idea of her infidelity. He didn’t argue with us or try to tell us we were lying. He told us to stay at his office and he went home to address the situation. I stayed as commanded, but Mark followed him. My oldest brother, Jeremy, came by after they left and I filled him in on everything. He refused to stay too, but this time I followed him.”

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