Page 10 of Can't Be Love

Oh, but I did care, and I hated that I did. There was an internal war going on. The good guys wanted to push Thomas away and have him never look my way again, and the bad guys had been fully aware of his reaction to my naked body and liked it. I didn’t want to like it.

Liam scrubbed his face with his hands in frustration. “You are going to be the death of me, I swear.”

“Relax,” I told him. “He already has a mate.” I wasn’t a hundred percent sure if I was referring to myself, or Sydney.

“He does?” Maddie asked. “No one told me that.”

I shrugged. “I think it’s still in limbo.”

“Who?”

“Sydney, the girl I was hanging out with last night,” I spit out, a little too harshly, but MC was too excited and curious to notice.

“Wow. I’m so happy for him. Is she his true mate?” she asked.

“No,” I admitted. Sydney was definitely not his one true mate. I sighed and dipped my head under the water, the pain finally subsiding. “Can you grab my toiletry bag for me? I think the meds are starting to kick in. I may even feel almost human again soon.”

Maddie laughed. “Should we be worried then?” Hearing baby Sara starting to cry, she excused herself. “Holler if you need me.”

I lay there for a few more minutes, trying not to think about everything happening to me. The warm water was soothing, but my body was still buzzing from the intimacy of sleeping on my mate. I chastised myself for even allowing that to happen, but I couldn’t go back and change it. I only hoped I hadn’t sent Thomas the wrong signals. I had no intentions of completing a bond with him. I still couldn’t forgive how he’d given up on Madelyn, and I didn’t think I ever could. If a man like that could give up on his own sister, what was stopping him from giving up on me?

I washed up and got out. There was a towel waiting for me on the counter. I grabbed it and dried off, before heading back into the bedroom to dress. Even the scent of puke and cleaner couldn’t mask the smell of him. I lay down on the bed and was consumed by it. He seemed to be everywhere, yet, I knew without a doubt he was no longer in the house. He had left. He would always leave, because that’s how he was. It’s what he did in a crisis and I needed to safeguard my heart with that memory, because I could already feel the pull of the bond. It clouded my judgement and made me want things I consciously didn’t want.

No one had ever mentioned that part of the bond. I felt like I had no control, like some pre-determined destiny was dragging me along against my will. It was not at all the wonderful elation I had romanticized about my entire life.

Sighing, I got up. I needed some fresh air.

Walking downstairs, I could hear voices in the back of the house. I ignored them and headed outside. Once the door closed behind me, I took in a deep breath. Somehow, the entire town smelled just a little like Thomas. He was a Collier—not just a Collier, buttheCollier, future Pack Alpha, and I was in his territory, so of course it did, but it certainly wasn’t helping my situation one bit.

I decided a little shopping therapy was in order. I headed back down to the main street of town. Collier was actually the name of the town as well, so most of the stores were Collier this or Collier that. The main street was Collier Street and there were two parallel roads that basically comprised the entire town. Zachary Street to the left, Thomas Street to the right.

I rolled my eyes, wondering if all Colliers were so conceited as to name everything after themselves. I had never really gotten that impression from Zach, but in Thomas’s case I chose to believe it was true.

I passed the bar at the end of Collier Street before turning right. I shook my head when I read the sign above the door, “Collier Steakhouse and Tavern.” I also passed a post office, a drug store, and an ice cream parlor that reminded me a lot of Cold Shack back home, but nothing really grabbed my attention.

Turning onto Thomas Street, I saw one shop in the middle of it all that was painted a bright, cheerful yellow. It made it stand out from the drab wood tones of all the other stores. I was immediately drawn to it, and clapped in excitement as I got close enough to see clothes and shoes in the window.

A bell chimed as I opened the door. I looked towards the back but didn’t see anyone. Unconcerned, I set about shopping, spying a very cute leather jacket. I knew I had to have it. I snatched it off the rack, along with several shirts and a pair of my favorite jeans. I had to order them online or make a trip into the city to find them, and even then only my favorite little boutique carried them. I squealed in delight, unable to believe they had such amazing things in Collier, of all places.

My arms were loaded down with treasures as I made my way through the store.

“Hello?” I called out.

“Just a minute,” a lady called from the back. Her voice was familiar. A moment later, Sydney Parker rounded the corner. She stopped and grinned at the sight of me.

“Oh, hey Sydney. You work here?”

“I own it actually. Wow, you want to try some of that on?”

I hesitated. I really didn’t need to, but it sounded like fun. It wasn’t like I had any place to be, and a women’s clothing store was a safe Thomas-free zone.

“I’d love that,” I said, surprised that I genuinely meant it.

For the next two hours I tried on nearly everything in the store. Syd was working on a new online catalog for her store and asked if I’d mind modeling some outfits for the webpage. I was happy to help, and we laughed and enjoyed a stress-free morning.

“How are you feeling?” she finally asked. “Last night was insane.”

“I didn’t do or say anything weird, did I?” I could clearly remember her tale of love and long-time affair with Thomas. I didn’t think I had confessed that he was my true mate, and I hoped I hadn’t growled at her or anything. I snorted at that thought. Only the bond would have me growling at anyone over him. I didn’t even like him.

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