Page 52 of Confusing Hearts

Relieved, she settled onto my bed with her back against the wall and her feet dangling over the edge. I finished the question I was working on before joining her. Her laptop sat on her lap with the program already open and waiting. She placed her head on my shoulder and sighed.

“How’re your classes going?” she asked me.

“Mostly fine. Calculus is a little tougher than I had expected, but I’m managing. I absolutely adore my photography class and graphic design. I know I shouldn’t. It’s not in the plan.” I rolled my eyes above her head. “But I really love them.”

“Daddy’s wrong on that, you know. I’m happy you found something you love. I’ll admit, I was pretty upset when he forced me to uproot and follow you here. All the girls were, actually.”

“Tess, I never asked—”

She cut me off. “I know. We all know. We may be identical, but Daddy’s always been more worried about you. He’s always watched you closer, made certain you had more security. You never ask for anything, so when you asked for this, it wasn’t a surprise he granted it. I’ve acted out for years trying to get his attention, but it’s always been you he pays the most attention to. ‘Tessa, watch after Jenna. Keep her away from boys, especially those lions. Remember, she’s your charge,’ he had said, before we left to come here. He checks in every week to see how you’re doing. I’ll admit, sometimes I’m resentful about it, but mostly I just feel sorry for you. I’m glad you’re taking your life into your own hands. Screw him! You live for you and be happy, Jenna.”

There were tears in my eyes and I hugged my sister close. She had no idea how much her words meant to me. I had always known they put the pressure of watching me on Tess. It had been a thing when we were little. “Tessie, watch after Jenna. You’re the big sister, it’s your duty,” anytime we went anywhere.

I had even felt sorry for her because of it. It strained our high school years and I was well aware of the resentment towards me from all the sisters over the transfer to Archibald Reynolds.

“I never asked to uproot any of you, Tessa. I’m so sorry. I know you hate the responsibility of watching out for me. And it shouldn’t be your job. I’m a grown woman capable of making rational decisions, even if they aren’t exactly as Daddy would like.” I grimaced, thinking of Chase. Would Daddy blame Tessa for allowing it to happen on her watch? I hadn’t thought about that as a possibility. I knew the consequences of my decision for me, but I hadn’t given any thought as to how they would impact her.

“It’s okay, Jenna. I am your big sister.”

I groaned. “By two minutes, Tess! Two minutes. For all we know, they could have mixed us up in the hospital or anytime afterwards and I’m really the oldest.”

We both laughed. It was true. Our parents had been terrible at telling us apart our whole lives. As two distinctive personalities evolved it was harder to mix us up, but as babies and little girls, it was a frequent occurrence.

“You are not. I am. I will always be the oldest even if you are the more mature and responsible one.” She elbowed me in the side and grinned.

The computer flashed and a phone jingle started. We both stared at each other and took a deep breath. Daddy. Tessa hit the connect button and we plastered identical fake smiles on our faces.

“Hi, Daddy,” we said in unison as our father’s face filled the screen.

“There’re my beautiful daughters.”

Edmond Lockhardt was a tall, thin man, graying with a receding hairline. He wasn’t extremely overbearing to look at, yet his eyes always held a lethal quality to them. He was observant and sharp as a whip, probably the smartest person I’d ever met. Fully grown men cowered under his scrutiny.

I had never been afraid of my father, but I was now afraid of the impact my mating Chase would bring to my family. Tessa and I had a strained relationship, largely because of our dad, but she was still my best friend.

“Jenna, I hear you switched a few classes?”

“Yes, Daddy, I did. I’m studying photography and graphic design. I love it!” I tried to infuse as much excitement as I could muster. I would not have had the courage previously, but I was still riding a bit of my Chase high, plus the nearly three thousand miles of distance helped boost my confidence.

His nose scrunched up and I fought back a hysterical laugh. I knew that was a sign of how displeased he was. It was one I rarely saw, though I had seen plenty of others shake in their boots at that same face. It both terrified and elated me. I was going to piss my father off when he found out what I’d done, just knowing that had a weird sort of freeing elation. I didn’t have to please him any longer.

“Well,” he finally said. “I suppose it could be worse. I assume you’re doing okay in your ‘real’ classes too?” He put major emphasis on the word “real” that had me cringing.

“Yes, Daddy, I’m doing well in all my classes.” I couldn’t help but emphasis “all” in the same manner. Tessa shot me a glare with questioning eyes, wondering what I was doing and begging me to shut up.

“How about you, Tessie?” Daddy had always called her Tessie. I knew she hated it, said it made her sound like a little girl.

“I’m doing surprisingly well in all my classes too, Daddy,” she confessed.

I realized she hadn’t once asked me to cover for her or do any of her assignments since we started the semester. I had been so wrapped up in my own drama that I hadn’t even realized that I had missed hers.

Fortunately, Daddy was interrupted and had to end the call early. He told us he loved us and hung up. We both stared at the screen in silence. I got the feeling Tessa felt as relieved as I had that the call had ended. I think we both got off the hook a little easier than expected.

“I can’t believe you told him about the new classes and how much you enjoy them. Way to go, Jenna,” my twin said proudly.

A warmth started low in my stomach. A very different warmth than Chase usually invoked. I tried not to blush even thinking it. This one spread and filled me with pride.

“And you,” I added, trying to quickly change the subject, “you’re actually going to class and keeping up okay? You haven’t once asked me for help here.”

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