Page 14 of Confusing Hearts

The way he said “we’re partners” warmed me all over. I looked around to distract myself from the sensation, and noticed several tables had their heads together discussing the assignment.

“Okay,” I said, relaxing.

We worked mostly in silence, side by side. It was nice and just being with him felt right. I didn’t let it freak me out, just enjoyed the moment. Photography class was much of the same. We were indoors this time, but Chase invited me to sit with him and his friends.

The professor used one of my pictures to highlight in the class. At first, I was terrified and embarrassed, until I realized he was using it as a good example of what should be done, not what shouldn’t. Pride flared within me, but it also showed on Chase’s face and brought back that warm sensation that always seemed to come when he was near.

The rest of the week was a whole lot of the same. Thursday, I didn’t see Chase and I couldn’t get out of my funk. My sisters had all taken notice of my mood, but I had blown it off as if it were nothing. I couldn’t explain what was happening to me, let alone share it with them. They’d never understand, and they certainly would never approve.

To make matters worse, Daddy called while Tessa was at her game.

“Hi Sweetie,” he said.

“Hi Daddy. What’s up? Tessa has a volleyball game today, remember?”

“I know. I know. Can’t I just call and check on you?”

His unexpected sweetness was off-putting. It wasn’t that my father was always mean, but he just wasn’t that nice either. He was calculating, highly opinionated, and his expectations were often exhausting. He never called without a reason.

“Your mother and I were thinking of coming for a visit. She misses you both. I’m not so sure it was a good idea to let you go so far away.”

I rolled my eyes, certain it wasn’t my mother struggling with the distance, but him.

“When were you thinking? We’re really very busy with classes, Daddy.”

“I know. I don’t want to interrupt your studies, so we were thinking over spring break. Tessa said you weren’t planning to come home, so we’ll just come to you.”

His tone left no little room for argument. I normally would have sighed, smiled pretty, and said “okay Daddy,” while changing our plans to accommodate his wishes. That was the expectation when my father made up his mind about something, but I was changing. I felt stronger and less intimidated by him.

“That’s probably not a good idea,” I told him, biting my lip surprised by my own candidness.

“Is that so?” he asked using the condescending tone that often made my panther and I both cower in his presence. Lucky for us we weren’t in his presence, so I pushed on.

“Yes Daddy, Tessa and I are going to Cabo with the sisters for spring break. It’s already been arranged.”

There was silence on the other end and I had a rush of nausea. I had never been the daughter that questioned him. I had always subjected no matter how much I hated it. I knew my place and the expectations placed on me and I had never once let my parents down, though they always looked at me like they were waiting for me to fail them. It wasn’t in what they said exactly, it was in how they acted. I had never understood it, but had grown to resent it. I was the good girl. I didn’t give them reasons to doubt that, ever.

I also somehow knew that Daddy was testing me. I would bet he’d already had the same conversation with Tessa and was looking for validation that what she had told him was true. It was the kind of sneaky thing he did with us.

“Well, very well then. I’ll let you go. Your mother will be greatly disappointed to hear this, but I’ll break the news carefully to her. I’ll talk to you on Sunday as usual.” He hung up without saying goodbye.

I slept restless thinking over the conversation. He was a regimented man and it was unlike him to call mid-week like that.

Friday, my world seemed to right itself again the moment I stepped into calculus. Chase was already there in the seats that had quickly become ours. He was chatting with Anita but had left the seat between them open for me. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face or the happiness from my heart.

He walked me to our next class and we just talked and laughed. I was fiddling with my phone and Chase grabbed it from me. I watched him snap a picture of himself, then type in his number before handing it back. He then offered me his. I hesitated, but finally took it and programmed my number into his phone. He frowned when I returned it without a picture and chased me the rest of the way to class trying to get one.

That sort of easy banter seemed so natural with us. It felt right and comfortable. It was no surprise we had fallen into a routine that I loved, and I was dreading the weekend. Two days where I might not see Chase seemed like a chasm too big to cross.

“Um, Chase?” I asked at the end of our last class, not wanting our time together to end.

“Yeah?”

“We’re having another party tomorrow night. I was just, um, wondering if you were going to be there.” I sucked in my bottom lip and waited for his response.

He seemed happy I asked, but there was also a sadness to him.

“Matt’s making a push for all the guys to go to Theta Saturday night. Not sure why, but I’ll probably have to at least make an appearance. And, one of my brothers is coming to visit. I’m not sure what he’ll want to do, but I’ll try to swing by. He’s mated now, so not likely going to want to hang around Theta for long.” He laughed like there was some obvious reason, but I was still new and didn’t know much about them.

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