Page 92 of Forever Mine

"Mommy," Oscar whispered in awe. "Look. You're doing it."

I glanced down to where he pointed to my hand, which was now sprouting fur. Beautiful grey fur. I felt it and it was so soft. I started to cry.

Liam barked to get my attention and nodded his big wolf head up and down. I could tell he was grinning. It was really creepy looking at his wolf, if I were being honest. He lay down, then jumped up and did it again.

"I think he wants you to lay down, too." Oscar helped clue me in.

I did as my son recommended and Liam nodded, rising to do a little happy trot before laying back down with me.

"Are you telling me that all that itching was my wolf trying to come out?"

He nodded up and down again. Next, he shifted back to human form.

"Madelyn, this is the most natural thing in the world. Your wolf, she's not dead. She's been there all along. That itchy feeling isn't hives, it never was; it's her signal to you that she wants out. Anytime we spend too much time in our skin that happens. We know the signs and address it quickly before it gets to the point of being so miserable."

"I don't know what to do," I whispered, both excited and scared half to death. I had never shifted before. They said it didn't really hurt, but I didn't see how that was physically possible. "What do I do, Liam?"

"Don't fight it. Give her the control she's searching for. I'll be right here the whole time."

"I'm scared," I whispered.

"You have nothing to be afraid of.” He kissed me one more time before shifting back to his wolf form. He made it look so effortless. I wondered if I'd ever be able to do it with such ease.

His rear end was in the air, but his head was down. He barked at me. He howled. The sound was so beautiful it relaxed me. The second I relaxed, my body started to transform. It was so surreal. I didn't really feel a thing. I could feel some pulls and tugs here and there, but it was more like an ethereal experience. I knew what was happening now, but it felt more like I was watching it happen than actually experiencing it.

Soon, I was covered all in fur. I looked at Oscar, who was grinning.

"You did it, Mommy! You're a beautiful grey wolf."

I was grateful I hadn't just traumatized my son for life. Fortunately, he'd been around shifters just long enough to not be frightened and still be in awe at the same time. I glanced down at the ground below me and sighed. My clothes were ripped to shreds surrounding me. I loved those jeans.

Wait, did he say grey? I was a grey wolf? I shouldn't be surprised. I was a Collier, after all, but there was never a certainty on wolf color. A lot of shifters had wolves with similar coloring to their own hair, but not all. Liam's wolf was white, lighter than his sandy-blonde hair, but similar enough. No one knew for certain how wolf colorings were chosen. Some seemed to be more consistent within geographical areas, others appeared completely at random. Collier Pack looked as diverse as Westin in human form, but the majority of wolves turned out grey.Like me,I thought happily.

Liam barked at me and then nudged me with his nose to encourage me to stand. I did, then wobbled and fell back to the ground. Wow, it was such a strange feeling, nothing like crawling on all fours as we did as kids pretending we could shift. My legs, all four of them, felt unsteady beneath me. It took me a minute to find my coordination. I imagined I look much like a new calf struggling to stand and move.

I tested my stability and started to walk, then trot. I looked around. Everything was sharper, crisper somehow. I closed my eyes and listened. I could make out so many new noises. I could actually hear a squirrel gnawing on a nut high up in a tree and somehow I knew exactly where he was, too. I sniffed the air. Kyle and Kelsey were two miles out and I could smell the food they were cooking on the grill. I knew it was them because it was combined with the sweet baby smell of little Zander after a fresh bath. All of my senses were heightened. It was unreal.

Liam barked at me. It was loud because he was so close and startled me. I toppled over again on my not-quite-steady new legs. He chuffed as he laughed at me, but I forgave him quickly. Who could stay mad at his ridiculous wolf grin face?

I got up and shook it off before giving chase. Liam turned and ran towards the woods, but stayed in the clearing running in circles. Oscar jumped up and down clapping, cheering us on. It got easier with each step and once I got the hang of maneuvering four feet instead of two, I was good to go and almost fast enough to catch Liam.

I watched as he cut another corner and I changed paths to intersect, plowing into him and sending us both tumbling across the ground. Oscar shielded his eyes and shook his head at us. Liam looked at me with that stupid wolf grin still plastered to his face and gave my wolf a big lick right across my face. It totally disgusted me, but I laughed and pushed away to stand again.

I was a wolf. I couldn't believe it. She wasn't dead, she'd been there all along. I just didn't have anyone to help me see her signs. Joining with my wolf gave me a sense peace.

Liam changed back into his skin and stood gloriously naked without the slightest hesitation.

“Hey, kid,” he told Oscar. “Go pack your PJs and a toothbrush. I'm taking you to Grandma's. Mommy's going to be in this form for a while and I need to stay with her. Okay?”

He nodded happily on his way into the house, stopping when he reached me. He knelt down and wrapped his arms around my neck, burying his sweet face in my fur.

“I knew you could do it. I'm so proud of you, Mommy!”

He disappeared into the house, returning quickly with a backpack stuffed full. I could tell it was much more than his PJs and toothbrush, but I was unable to question him. Liam pulled on his own clothes, having been smart enough to remove them first, unlike me, and they got into the car.

For a moment, I started to panic. They were leaving me? I needed to change back, but I didn't know how. The irrational fear that I'd be stuck in my wolf form forever started to set in.

Liam jumped from the car and came to me. He must have felt my anxiety rising.

“Hey, it's okay. You'll change back, but it could be a few hours to a day. It gets easier, but she's been suppressed for a very long time. Best thing you can do is run.” I nodded my head to show him I understood, and started to calm. He took my big, fluffy head in his hands and stared at me in awe. “Most beautiful wolf I've ever seen.” He planted a kiss on my elongated nose before getting back into the car.

“Try to keep up,” he yelled from the window as the car lurched forward, leaving a trail of dust in my face. I shook it off and ran, feeling the weight of a lifetime lift from my chest, letting go of all the pain of the past and giving in to the uncertainty of the future as I ran faster and harder than I'd ever dreamed possible.

I couldn't have predicted how this year would turn out, or how much Liam would turn my life upside down in the best ways possible. I didn't know what the future would hold, but with Liam and Oscar by my side, I knew I was going to be okay.

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