Page 25 of Forever Mine

For some reason I found just crossing that bridge and being on it, looking up as we crossed, to be magical. I was sorry it was over much too soon. Liam turned right almost immediately and pulled into a scenic lookout spot just on the other side of the bridge. We stopped and got out. It was so surreal looking out across the water at San Francisco. Such a strikingly different view.

Liam took out his phone and immediately began snapping pictures. “Turn around and smile,” he told me.

I froze. I didn't take pictures, ever. They were nothing more than validation that I, Maddie Collier, existed, and I couldn't let that get back to my family. It wasn't fair to them.

“What's wrong?”

“I, uh . . .” I didn't know how to explain it to him. “I don't like having my picture taken.” I lamely tried to play it off.

“Don't be ridiculous,” Liam said. Before I knew it he was standing behind me and holding the phone away from us, snapping selfies of the two of us. He started making faces and acting silly until I couldn't help but smile. “See, that wasn't so bad,” he said triumphantly, kissing my cheek and sending tingles throughout my body. “Come on, we're not there yet.”

“Wait, we're not?”

“Nope,” he said as we got back in the car and headed out away from the Golden Gate Bridge. He took a left a little ways up and began a slow climb up the mountain. There were lookout stops all along the way, but he didn't stop until we'd reached the top.

“It's beautiful,” I whispered.

“Yes, it is, but still not there, come on.”

I laughed, getting out of the car. He came around, took my hand, and led me to an opening in the mountain. “Are we supposed to be here?” I asked as he led me into a dark and somewhat spooky-looking tunnel. Halfway through, the smell of urine was strongly mixed with the fragrance I knew to be spray paint. A small opening to our right appeared.

“You do not want to go in there,” he warned, and I realized the smells were coming from inside. We moved past it quickly, coming out on the other side.

Everything was so green. A thick forest covered the hillside, and a cove with a small town surrounding it was seen far below. It was beautiful. I inhaled deeply, taking in the woodsy smells. It called to me like nothing never had before. It smelled a little like home.

My entire body sagged and I started to cry. Strong arms wrapped around me.

“I'm so sorry, I didn't know it would upset you.”

“It's beautiful. It's just”—I sniffed—“it's just that it smells a lot like home.”

He just held me and let me cry. Anyone else and I'd have been mortified, but not with Liam. When my sobs slowed to mere whimpers he hugged me tighter and finally spoke.

“Better?” he asked sweetly.

I chanced a look at him and wish I hadn't. I needed to just close my eyes and tell him everything and then leave and take Oscar and go home. My mouth was dry and my palms started to sweat. The darkness started to sneak into my peripheral vision.

“Hey, stay with me now. Just breathe in the fresh air,” he told me in a soothing tone.

“I can't, it hurts too much.”

“What? Why does it hurt, Maddie? I need you to talk to me.”

I opened my eyes and looked straight into his. “Because it smells like home. The memories are too much. I'm not strong enough to face them. I can't. I don't want to remember.”

“What don't you want to remember?”

“Them,” I whispered. “I don't want to remember Mom and Dad, and my sisters, and Thomas. That's not my life anymore, and it hurts too much to remember them.”

“Sweetheart, they are going to know you're alive. We're going to have to face the challenges and while many packs are not welcome into Westin territory right now, Collier isn't one of them. They're going to find out you're still alive.”

My spine straightened and my body stiffened. “They won't,” I said in a voice I barely recognized as my own, “because we aren't going through the challenges. I can't accept you as my mate.”

I vividly felt his confusion and hurt. It was almost crippling.

“You don't mean that.”

“Liam.” I sighed. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. “There are things you don't know or understand about me. Just trust I know what's best for both of us?”

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